I've decided to tell you a story of awesome Apple Customer Service I've had lately. To start the story, let me just say that I have fully maxed out MBP 15" '16 - i7-6920HQ, Radeon Pro 460, 2TB SSD - purchased in the end of December 2016. With AppleCare no less. For those over the pond (I'm in the UK), this has been roughly 5372 USD back then (4378 GBP). So naturally as one would expect its keyboard started mispressing the keys. In January 2018, a little after the warranty period ended. Fortunately(?) I had AppleCare as back then Apple didn't recognise the problem with the keyboard as it does now. I contacted online support, they made me do all the regulars (SMC, NVRAM etc), unexpectedly it didn't help and they asked me to go to the Apple Store. The most convenient to me is the one on Regent St in London (for those unaware, flagship store on one of the most expensive streets in London and the world I believe). I go there, meet the genius, he behaves as if he has never seen such an issue before but agrees very fast this is not my fault and this should be fixed. And advises to just clean it with pressed air which he does. The issue becomes better and I have no way to make him actually repair the laptop even though I know well from the internet it won't help for long. On the 3rd day in it starts mispressing again. I have to visit the store again and ask for the repair. They quote 21 days of waiting. 21. 3 weeks without 5372 USD worth of a laptop. 3 weeks with additional warranty bought from them no less. As this is my only computer I decline. Among others the phrase "What do you want? We're the second busiest Apple Store in the world" is said about the period straight to my face. I phone support, escalate to AppleCare adviser, escalate to senior AppleCare adviser explaining every one of them the whole long situation over and over again. None of them is appalled by the period quoted or by the language used and all of them try to make me accept it. Eventually senior adviser understands I'm adamant and starts to solve the problem. He finally suggests they'll be able to order the parts without having my machine and I will only need to give it up after that, for the repair itself. Which seems kinda reasonable. Or at least I thought so. He asks me to go to the store for them to examine again and order the right parts. I do, they examine etc... and while committing to the repair I accidentally ask how long it will take after the parts arrive (expecting to hear like 2 days max or something). 14 days. Hell yeah. That solves the problem. Yay. I decline. Back home, email senior AppleCare adviser (he gave me both his direct phone and email - why this is significant would be explained further), explain the situation again, several emails, several calls, we agree they will order the parts without having my machine and then the repair would take no more than 1 full day (so I give up the machine Monday morning, it should be ready by Tuesday evening). Back to the store, explain the situation all over again. They check everything. And do not honour the agreement saying among other things "we don't know what you've agreed about with AppleCare adviser, we're another division, what do you want from us?". Back home, emails, calls with senior AppleCare adviser... he seems so eager to help. He assures me to go to the store again and this time they'll help me as we agreed - order parts before giving up my machine and for the repair to take no more than 1 full day. I go and indeed they know about the agreement. We reiterate all the conditions, they explain thoroughly how my machine will be repaired first thing the next morning after I give it up, how they will assign the best specialist to do it, how fast it'll be, yada, yada, yada, all in all - quite long marketing speech - and in the end they add "just in case something goes wrong you should know it might take 14 days to repair". I'm like WTF?! Isn't it the cornerstone of the problem? I cannot be without laptop for 14 days even if it's just a possibility. I decided I've had enough and ask to call the manager. Considering how bad they've behaved previously I understand that "might take 14 days" means "if we choose to it will take 14 days and you will be able to do nothing about it as you've signed the documents". Explain everything that has already happened to the manager, she agrees this is not right, thoroughly apologises, asks for a moment to speak with her subordinate, they go to the backroom. Several minutes after, she returns, apologises, says she understands all the frustration and that there is such an agreement. Starts explaining it will be honoured, the same long marketing speech how my laptop will be repaired first thing next day I give it up, yada, yada, yada... and in the end of the long speech adds it might take 14 days. I still have my temper, I tell this will not work as explained numerous times before and we need a contingency plan in case such an issue happens like providing me a temporary replacement laptop or something for these 14 days. She asks to take a leave to the backroom with her subordinate again, returns in 5 minutes... and the whole long speech happens again with "it might take 10 days" in the end. For the third time. At this point I understand I've had enough and say that I want the laptop to be replaced as per Consumer Rights Act 2015 which allows the customer to request either repair or replacement if the product is defective. For those over the pond, this is consumer law, retailers must honour it and must do it on the spot (not as in give the replacement instantly but they must know the law and start the replacement process). The answer is appalling and as rude and lawless as it can get - "ok, talk with the legal team" (as in the real Apple legal department which has better things to do like appeal EU order to pay 15 billion in taxes - find their number and call them). I ask to present the legal team in front of me - I'll gladly talk with them at which point she understands she's wrong and asks to take a leave to the backroom again. In several minutes she returns and says the law does not give me this right and repeats her marketing tirade about how my laptop will be repaired fast adding the piece about 10 days in the end of course. I decline, we read the law together from my laptop, she understands she's wrong, back to backroom, some more wait, she returns, reiterates the same speech and... unfortunately it's time for the store to close. As if she did it intentionally. To put this all into perspective - it's already middle February by that time as visiting the store instead of work is not always possible and senior Apple Care adviser does not answer the phone 2/3rds of the time and responds to emails on second or third day. I have two long business trips coming up. I relay all what happened to the adviser, he answers in several days how bad it is, I say to him that I'm going to quite a long business trip soon, maybe he could arrange a repair or replacement there, he says he actually can, every next message taking 1 to 3 days. He asks me what dates, what cities in the destination country, what part of the city I will be in. As if he's really interested to help. But during 4 weeks away nothing except those questions happen. I return to London, try to reach him, he's not answering calls and does no respond to emails. In 5 days he finally does but I have to leave for another 2-week business trip by that time. We agree to solve the problem after I return. Funny thing happens over these 2 weeks - I get a call from Apple, apparently my adviser went on vacation and his colleague was checking his cases - starting the call with "how good you laptop is now? the repair went well?" and not understanding it did not for roughly 5 minutes. When I return I try to reach him by the phone several times but no luck and drop him an email which he ignores. It's the beginning of April already btw. I try the same again in May but no luck again. The summer was quite busy and I had no time to resolve it further. Fortunately the main problem was with the Cmd key which there are two and I could use the laptop with some inconvenience. By the end of summer it became worse, also TB3 ports became so loose that slightly moving the laptop could stop the charging and display started to show slight reflective cover wear off. As I've finally had some free time I decided to fix it eventually. Contacted Apple, among other things asked to check what's the status of the January-May case IDs. The resolution was they've tried to contact me by phone both in April and in May and could not. Even though we communicated via email quite a lot they did not respond to emails? And I didn't have any missed calls from Apple (and they're quite specific - they come from 00353***) so I think it was ********. I've contacted AppleCare again, different adviser as mine could not be reached. They didn't see any problem in how the whole case was handled and only apologised after I stressed the worst points of their employees behaviour two or three times. They've assured me the only way to solve the issue is to get it repaired but also guaranteed it would take no more than 14 days. Being quite exhausted I thought **** it, let it be 14 days. Went to the store the same day as I was told appointment is not necessary. In store I was told appointment is necessary and the nearest one is in ... ... ... ... 9 days! And then, after appointment, it will be 14 more days for the repair. I asked to call a manager, explained everything to him, without any apologies, anything, without any second thought he went "yeah, just go to any other Authorised Service Provider, here are 4 nearby, they might have lesser wait time". We checked on the website - the least was in 5 days. As if it helps. Also he suggested to walk-in every morning and I will likely be seen without appointment after waiting for 2 or 3 hours (as if people have no better things to do than wait for hours at Apple Store - like work or something). Only after I explained him three times I as a consumer do not want to wander different places or wait hours in store and beg for my hugely expensive laptop to be fixed, I chose this store, I was advised it would take no more than 14 days and until this service is provided or documentally confirmed it will not be I will not leave him and he must resolve issue, he instantly found an employee which quickly examined my laptop, agreed with all the issues (keyboard, display, IO ports), ordered the parts, asked me to drop my laptop when the email about parts arrive and the whole process, she guaranteed, would take no more than 14 days. Looking forward to what they will **** up next. Still waiting for the parts to arrive. To summarise all of that. Reading all the stories about Apple Customer Service here on the website, be they positive or negative, I kind of laugh how miniscule they are. Sorry for the long wall of text. Any advice welcome. Any critics of my expectations or behaviour is welcome as well. Thank you for reading.