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Apple is doing what is reasonable to try and keep the average user safe. I think you are making much more out of this than need be. If you don’t want to update, don’t. Ignore the badge and move on with your life.
Not really true. Apple now uses all kinds of insidious tricks to fool people into upgrading. Crafty verbiage flat out intended to trick users into upgrading. Not good.

E.g. I want to keep my current OS (Sequoia at the moment) updated, but my protocol is not to upgrade to the next OS until the X.3 version, if ever. So this morning I got a message asking if my planned updates should be done now or tonight. Hmm. Diving into the detail I found Tahoe had been downloaded and was about to be installed.

No doubt PEBKAC; I probably clicked on the wrong thing at some point. But also there is no doubt that Apple fully intended that wrong click. After decades there is no way I install a full new OS version without conscious analysis first.
 
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You will end up in a lunatic asylum if you go by the member complains here on everything. Just use your computers and enjoy life, it isn’t end of the world. Some of us endured Tiger and Lion OS X. Tahoe isn’t anything like those early mac osx releases.
Tahoe is not judged by comparison to Tiger and Lion. Tahoe's stability and UI are judged against Sequoia.
 
Not really true. Apple now uses all kinds of insidious tricks to fool people into upgrading. Crafty verbiage flat out intended to trick users into upgrading. Not good.

E.g. I want to keep my current OS (Sequoia at the moment) upgraded, but my protocol is not to upgrade to the next OS until the X.3 version, if ever. So this morning I got a message asking if my planned updates should be done now or tonight. Hmm. Diving into the detail I found Tahoe had been downloaded and was about to be installed.

No doubt PEBKAC; I probably clicked on the wrong thing at some point. But also there is no doubt that Apple fully intended that wrong click. After decades there is no way I install a full new OS version without conscious analysis first.
That's exactly what is happening with all the Apple Devices in my household. The notice above gives you two options as follows: a. Restart (to upgrade, of course), and b. to upgrade tonight.

There aren't any other options other than to upgrade or ignore the notice every time you use your Mac, or iPhone, or iPad.
 
Not really true. Apple now uses all kinds of insidious tricks to fool people into upgrading. Crafty verbiage flat out intended to trick users into upgrading. Not good.

E.g. I want to keep my current OS (Sequoia at the moment) updated, but my protocol is not to upgrade to the next OS until the X.3 version, if ever. So this morning I got a message asking if my planned updates should be done now or tonight. Hmm. Diving into the detail I found Tahoe had been downloaded and was about to be installed.

No doubt PEBKAC; I probably clicked on the wrong thing at some point. But also there is no doubt that Apple fully intended that wrong click. After decades there is no way I install a full new OS version without conscious analysis first.
I still think that Apple is concerned about safety.

I don’t know about insidious… but, you raise a fair point in regards to the lack of user control options with updates. I will concede as well that Apple should be more clear with the verbiage.
 
Tahoe is not judged by comparison to Tiger and Lion. Tahoe's stability and UI are judged against Sequoia.
Doesn’t matter, they were one of the worst Mac OS X . I don’t upgrade Mac Os till Feb/march(or x.3). If you live on the bleeding edge, be ready for issues. I learnt my lesson long time ago with lion.
 
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