I feel your pain Bob, but consider the amount of effort for the edge cases you cite. Your F iTunes /F card /IR locale is very far from representative or common situation. SEPA related is becoming "more common" but is likely far far from common (most folks bank local.)
Apple might have been able to add having the Apple Pay button appear based on the source country of the credit card in a persons iTunes account, but would it have really brought many more early edge case types like you and me into the system to make it worth the engineering expense?
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They might have rolled it out in France but to none of the big banks.
That's kinda useless...
I hope they'll roll out to bigger banks like LCL, Crédit Agricole, or BNP Paribas.
The boycotts of the French banking cartel, or individual big banks, or large merchants are probably no different in France than the variety of delays seen in CAN, GB, AU, and CH, where some banks and/or merchants had greedy wet dreams of trying to develop their own mobile payment systems but faced with a lousy implementation, customer disinterest/defection and competitors (other banks and AMEX) on the AP train making conquest gains, reluctantly signed up to AP.
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It's accepted in my company cafeteria ("canteen" to you Brits) now. I use it daily; but more importantly I'd say about 20% of the people ahead of me on line use it or the Android equivalent (and most people have iPhones at my company).
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You make an interesting point. There are two ways to go in many market entries-- either strike up alliances with big companies, or try to be completely disruptive. The first approach is much more likely to be successful, since you have to build less "infrastructure" yourselves (I'm using "infrastructure" generically here). A big company like Apple generally has a huge advantage in building those alliances. Smaller outfits may do better trying the disruption route, which is more likely to fail; but has the advantages of a bigger payoff if successful, and less need to compete with the Apples of the world.
Plus once AP is well integrated and in wide use, Apple can choose to go full disruptive and cut out the banks and card networks (leaving only the processing networks). This would ensure Apple more growth but is probably 5-10 years away. More likely to see a car first.