So they CAN force updates? Why not for everyone? It's damned frustrating to watch your AirPods defy your very existence and refuse to update. GRRR...

For quite sometime now updates can be forced by plugging any device—AirPods, Siri Remotes, etc into either a Mac or iPad via a lightning to USB-C cable. For this particular AirPods
beta firmware however, putting your iPhone into developer mode via xCode 14 (also in beta) and then enabling beta OTA updates for whichever AirPod is connected to the phone via Bluetooth at the time, is required.
To obtain these beta firmwares, I connected both my AirPods Max and AirPods Pro to my iPhone via Bluetooth, then connected my iPhone to my MacBook Pro. I downloaded the xCode 14 beta. Then the Developer tab appeared in my iPhone settings, and I scrolled down to the bottom to enable beta updates for both headphones (there was a separate toggle for each).
Then I plugged both my AirPods Pro and AirPods Max to my MacBook Pro, and within a couple of minutes both AirPods had updated to the latest beta.
Similarly, when Apple released a stable firmware update to my Siri Remotes last week, I plugged both of mine into my MacBook Pro, and they updated within a couple of minutes.
I don’t know why sites such as these do not mention this force-update option with firmware releases; this method has worked for at least a year or more. Spread the word!