Sidebar Sidebar
Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.

Apple Unveils new, thinner, Steve Jobs

D

DustyLBottoms

macrumors regular
Original poster
Sep 8, 2009
146
0
My own invention, ala The Onion;

Apple Unveils new, thinner, Steve Jobs

California(ONN) - In a much waited for media event, Apple today showed off it's newest version of their wildy popular CEO, Steve Jobs. After not seeing an update for over a year, and with Mac forums and gossip sites buzzing with rumors about new features, Apple finally unveiled Steve Jobs 3.0.

"When we dropped the original Steve Jobs back in 1985 we didn't think people would miss it much." Says Tim Cook, COO of Apple. "But after acquiring the Jobs line again with the purchase of NeXT in '97 people just started associating Apple & Jobs together."

Apple stopped sales of the previous Jobs model last October to focus on the core features that consumers want in Jobs 3.0.

Tim Cook - "We really went back the the basics, so many times CEOs tend to become bloatware over the years, using too many resources. But we were able to slim this version down quite a bit, we're using a new model of the liver as well - but we've kept the iconic black exterior. I think consumers will be all over Jobs 3.0 this holiday season."
 
Leave it alone. Why not have a liver transplant and see how you're feeling < 6 months later?
 
Hey, I thought it was pretty good.

DustyLBottoms said:
My own invention, ala The Onion;

Apple Unveils new, thinner, Steve Jobs

California(ONN) - In a much waited for media event, Apple today showed off it's newest version of their wildy popular CEO, Steve Jobs. After not seeing an update for over a year, and with Mac forums and gossip sites buzzing with rumors about new features, Apple finally unveiled Steve Jobs 3.0.

"When we dropped the original Steve Jobs back in 1985 we didn't think people would miss it much." Says Tim Cook, COO of Apple. "But after acquiring the Jobs line again with the purchase of NeXT in '97 people just started associating Apple & Jobs together."

Apple stopped sales of the previous Jobs model last October to focus on the core features that consumers want in Jobs 3.0.

Tim Cook - "We really went back the the basics, so many times CEOs tend to become bloatware over the years, using too many resources. But we were able to slim this version down quite a bit, we're using a new model of the liver as well - but we've kept the iconic black exterior. I think consumers will be all over Jobs 3.0 this holiday season."
Click to expand...

Not so sure about that part...if you catch my drift.
 
XKCD did a strip with the same idea and punch-line as the Onion article around the time when apple introduced the umb/ubmbp. It wasn't that funny then either. Don't get me wrong, all the parts of the a good joke are there, but when you think about the suffering the guy had to go through it becomes less funny.

But what do I know, laughing at other's misery seems to be the in thing these days... And who am I to say that Jobs doesn't find this funny.

Link to the XKCD comic
http://xkcd.com/527/
 
Hm. I don't find that amusing in the least. It wouldn't be any different had it been Bill Gates, either. Putting someone's health problems on the line for entertainment isn't kosher.
 
huntnboy04 said:
tread easy dusty bottoms, quoting someone them having not said it, lawsuit.
Click to expand...

Actually, not really. Satirical websites like the Onion do it all the time.

I thought you all were grown up enough to appreciate the humor here. God knows if I had done the same with Bill Gates you would have eaten it up.

:rolleyes:
 
Yes, liver transplant jokes are always a hit. Why dont you go run the same joke by a jaundice patient and Im sure it will deliver the lulz. See if you make it out of the room, you know, if they have the strength to chase you down.
 
Honestly, I wasn't even thinking about Jobs' health condition while reading the joke. Yes, if it is in fact a punch at his current health condition, that is tasteless, but I didn't take it as such.
 
Umm... yeah. I agree. I dont think it would have been any funnier if it was about someone else. I do like jokes... but I guess jokes about peoples health are just.. well.. not so funny to me ><
 
DustyLBottoms said:
Actually, not really. Satircal websites like the Onion do it all the time.

I thought you all were grown up enough to apppreciate the humor here. God knows if I had done the same with Bill Gates you would have eaten it up.

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Grown up enough to poke fun at someone's health issues? :confused:
 
DustyLBottoms said:
Actually, not really. Satircal websites like the Onion do it all the time.

I thought you all were grown up enough to apppreciate the humor here. God knows if I had done the same with Bill Gates you would have eaten it up.

:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Making fun of serious medical issues related to cancer is grown up?:confused::rolleyes:

As for the underlined, don't tell me what the **** I think. It wouldn't be funny to me even if it was a murderer in jail, suffering is suffering.
 
I chuckled. OP wasn't being cruel or anything. People are so PC nowadays, reminds me of when I saw George Carlin in concert do his bit on cancer and seeing people walk out all offended.
 
sikkinixx said:
I chuckled. OP wasn't being cruel or anything. People are so PC nowadays, reminds me of when I saw George Carlin in concert do his bit on cancer and seeing people walk out all offended.
Click to expand...

It has nothing to do with being PC, bad taste is bad taste.
 
I thought it was pretty funny.

It was almost asking for that.

Unlike most americans, Jobs has a choice of going back to work or taking longer off to heal up properly.
add to it that he essentially skipped the line to get a transplant.
 
Leareth said:
I thought it was pretty funny.

It was almost asking for that.

Unlike most americans, Jobs has a choice of going back to work or taking longer off to heal up properly.
add to it that he essentially skipped the line to get a transplant.
Click to expand...

I take it you don't understand how the system works....
 
not anywhere close to being funny.

Also, Leareth, maybe a touch more research beyond Googling "Steve Jobs rich bastard stealing people's livers" :p In the "Related Articles", we find:
Apple 2.0 said:
Steve Jobs: The sickest patient on the waiting list
"He received a liver transplant [first] because he was the patient with the highest MELD score (Model for End-Stage Liver Disease) of his blood type..."
Click to expand...
So... Yeah.

Orig. Art. here
 
Amusing, but then again I don't consider Jobs Jesus nor Apple in general as some sort of holy grail.

justaregularjoe said:
Also, Leareth, maybe a touch more research beyond Googling "Steve Jobs rich bastard stealing people's livers" :p In the "Related Articles", we find:

So... Yeah.

Orig. Art. here
Click to expand...
So the fact that Jobs has the ways and means to travel all over the country to be evaluated by multiple doctors to get on multiple transplant lists and, in a worst case scenario, could easily pay for a liver transplant out of pocket if his insurance didn't cover it didn't give him any sort of leg up over your Average Joe in getting a new liver? Seriously?

I don't blame Jobs for doing everything he could w/in the confines of what's legal to get a new liver ASAP but you can't pretend he was just another guy on the waiting list. It wasn't luck that enabled him to get a new liver in about 4 months when then national average is just over 12.


Lethal
 
Not funny, making fun of someone's ailments and health issues are never funny.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Register on MacRumors! This sidebar will go away, and you'll see fewer ads.
Top Bottom
Back