My own invention, ala The Onion; Apple Unveils new, thinner, Steve Jobs California(ONN) - In a much waited for media event, Apple today showed off it's newest version of their wildy popular CEO, Steve Jobs. After not seeing an update for over a year, and with Mac forums and gossip sites buzzing with rumors about new features, Apple finally unveiled Steve Jobs 3.0. "When we dropped the original Steve Jobs back in 1985 we didn't think people would miss it much." Says Tim Cook, COO of Apple. "But after acquiring the Jobs line again with the purchase of NeXT in '97 people just started associating Apple & Jobs together." Apple stopped sales of the previous Jobs model last October to focus on the core features that consumers want in Jobs 3.0. Tim Cook - "We really went back the the basics, so many times CEOs tend to become bloatware over the years, using too many resources. But we were able to slim this version down quite a bit, we're using a new model of the liver as well - but we've kept the iconic black exterior. I think consumers will be all over Jobs 3.0 this holiday season."