Neither, i just don't live in a fantasy. I care deeply about LIVING THINGS and more without lying to myself the "show" will go on forever. You said "freak out" - do you understand the difference??!
Spend time with your parent now while you can and stop "freaking out". That did not ever help anyone!
Don't try to control all, you can't. If you want NSA style overwatch, then install WIFI cameras in her house to observe every minute of her life.
You are a marvelous troll. Enjoy.