AT&T Announces "Complete iPhone Happiness" Recommendations

Discussion in 'iPhone' started by Toe, May 12, 2009.

  1. Toe macrumors 65816

    Toe

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2002
    #1
    Continuing to maintain its reputation for coverage and service, AT&T today officially announced its recommendations for optimal iPhone usage. They intend to spend $75 million advertising what they call "Complete iPhone Happiness."

    According to the carrier, iPhone users can "find happiness" by using the Apple device only in situations which do not vary from what they call "typical behavior." In the fine print attached to the press release, AT&T defines "typical behavior" as only placing calls to other AT&T phones while both caller and recipient are standing within 20 feet of an AT&T communications tower. They also noted that calls should be kept to less than a minute to avoid "unfortunate interruptions" such as a dropped call.

    For maximal happiness, the carrier "strongly recommends" iPhone users avoid behavior such as: sending or receiving SMS or voicemail messages in a time-sensitive situation, using more than 100 KB of data in a day, using the telephony features of the iPhone, or complaining about AT&T.

    Among other "discouraged behavior" are uses such as turning the iPhone on, expecting incoming calls to not go straight to voicemail, and relying on the iPhone's "bars" as an indicator of service.

    In other news, AT&T today announced that they will be substantially upping their "more bars in more places" advertising campaign to compensate for their decision not to expand on their national network of communications towers until 2017. AT&T currently maintains 82 towers around the United States, providing what they refer to as "unparalleled service" to America's 250 largest cities. (In a note on that press release, AT&T noted that rural users could "go %!$# themselves." This too appears to be part of their "happiness" campaign.)
     
  2. jeremykyle macrumors regular

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    Feb 8, 2009
    #2
    I guess we "rural users" have to find somewhere else to go as soon as the iPhone is available on another carrier.
     
  3. ScreamingPsycho macrumors newbie

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    May 11, 2009
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    Rocky Top
    #3
    I guess we will. That is so stupid that ATT advertises that they have bars in more places. I dont even have 3G network . i just have plain ole cell phone reception. Come on ATT, Step it up
     
  4. jeremykyle macrumors regular

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    Feb 8, 2009
    #4
    Same here. Even though I live in a rather large city, no 3G.
     
  5. Toe thread starter macrumors 65816

    Toe

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2002
    #5
    Or better yet... come on, Apple, get rid of this loser. AT&T is a horrible carrier, and I can't imagine why Apple sullies their name by association with them.

    I'm now in a situation where I have to decide between my iPhone and ANY coverage (spending a lot of time in a rural area which is beneath AT&T's dignity to cover). I'm out of contract with AT&T, but can't imagine going back to one of the stupid bloop-bloop phones of yester-millennium.
     
  6. Drumjim85 macrumors 68030

    Drumjim85

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    DFW, TX
    #6
    Why can't they use that 75mil to make their network better.
     
  7. The Californian macrumors 68040

    The Californian

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    #7
    I love how people respond seriously to this, apparently people are no longer able to sense sarcasm.
     
  8. Roessnakhan macrumors 68040

    Roessnakhan

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    ABQ
    #8
    I wonder if they think The Onion is a serious news site too. :p
     
  9. MBHockey macrumors 68040

    MBHockey

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    New York
    #9
    Wow.
     
  10. goingblue macrumors member

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    Apr 15, 2009
    Location:
    Ahwatukee, AZ
    #10
    Amen, the second I get a chance I'm gone. My coverage for phone calls is just fine. But I was using slingbox on my treo 2 freaking years ago with no complaints from Verizon. Wait till we get dinged another 10 bucks a month for MMS. And, I can only imagine what they will charge for tethering.

    WEAK WEAK WEAK.
     
  11. goingblue macrumors member

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    Ahwatukee, AZ
    #11
    I got the sarcasm right away. btw.
     
  12. Gathomblipoob macrumors 68040

    Gathomblipoob

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    Mar 18, 2009
    #12
    What?! It's not?!?! :D
     
  13. Toe thread starter macrumors 65816

    Toe

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    Mar 25, 2002
    #13
    I think this is real, at least.
     
  14. dissdnt macrumors 65816

    dissdnt

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    Aug 3, 2007
    #14
    I second that.
     
  15. cWeems macrumors 6502a

    cWeems

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    Location:
    FLORIDA, USA
    #15
    never have any problems with att, calls and 3G always work fine.
     
  16. thisisarcadia macrumors 6502

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    Jun 26, 2008
    Location:
    New Orleans, LA
    #16
    is that really real! haha i use an ungodly amount more than what they classify as a happy user ha
     
  17. Knowlege Bomb macrumors 601

    Knowlege Bomb

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    Madison, WI
    #17
    Actually I've read in quite a few places that AT&T may be reducing their iPhone data plan prices by $10 this summer.

    Here's to hoping...
     
  18. Toe thread starter macrumors 65816

    Toe

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    #18
    Honestly, you're the first person I've heard say that.
     
  19. Knowlege Bomb macrumors 601

    Knowlege Bomb

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    #19
    I'll be the second then.

    My service is excellent.
     
  20. TheSpaz macrumors 604

    TheSpaz

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    Jun 20, 2005
    #20
    My service is "usually" satisfactory. Occasionally there will be days where it switches from 3G to Edge a lot for no reason, but more often than not, it's always on 3G. AT&T has always been good to me.
     
  21. TheSpaz macrumors 604

    TheSpaz

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    #21
    How funny would it be if they made MMS cost $10 this summer and brought the data price down by $10. HAHAHA!
     
  22. QCassidy352 macrumors G3

    QCassidy352

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    Mar 20, 2003
    Location:
    Bay Area
    #22
    I'll be the third... but I should disclose I only have a 2G iphone, so I can't speak to 3G service. EDGE and voice coverage are great though.
     
  23. slapguts macrumors 6502a

    slapguts

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    Jan 10, 2008
    #23
    I'm currently touring the United States, and the only place I've had poor coverage so far was the wasteland of west Texas. Still haven't had a dropped call on any iPhone I've owned, this one, or my old one. The drummer is on Verizon, and he'll have full signal, but not be able to send or recieve text messages for hours at a time.

    Http://trackmytour.com/416
     
  24. Drumjim85 macrumors 68030

    Drumjim85

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    Oct 7, 2007
    Location:
    DFW, TX
    #24
    ya, that area has no reception at all. Although when the city population has more cows than people, i dont see it being a big priority for them.
     
  25. vivithemage macrumors 6502a

    vivithemage

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    Jul 12, 2008
    #25
    hahaha, my first thoughts.
     

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