I got them. They are mine: a 60g iPod video, a 17" MacBook Pro, AppleCare on aforementioned toys, an HP Printer that'll end up only costing me the sales tax, and a couple of new iPod accessories (camera link, case). In and out in 20 minutes--no problems: three copies of my receipt and two rebate forms. Apple Dude said I needed to call Apple Rebates to inform them that the cardboard/UPC will be going to for the printer rebate so that there won't be any troubles with the iPod rebate.
And now they will sit in the corner and taunt me from their unopened boxes while I finish grades.