So, after being convinced by several people, I decided to join Facebook. I have no idea what I was even going to do with it, but I figured it'd be good to have. So I created an account and entered in all my information, but when I clicked "Create account," it was immediately suspended/banned. I never once saw the homepage or anything like that—I clicked create, and it popped up with a message saying my account had been suspended, and I could appeal the decision. So I appealed the decision and am still waiting on a response. The message in the attached screenshot is what now shows when I try to sign in.
My question is, why did this happen? I want to reiterate that never did I once see the homepage or anything. Immediately after I hit create account, it said that my account was banned. Anyone know what the heck is happening? How could I have broken the rules without even having been on the platform? Is there context I'm missing?
I have spent years deliberately avoiding Facebook, Instagram, Google, and any other data-hungry tech giant with a proven track record of treating privacy like an all-you-can-eat buffet. Surveillance scandals? Lawsuits over data trading? No, thank you. I kept my digital footprint as small as possible.
But then, life happened. I needed a place to sell some stuff online, and a few well-meaning friends convinced me that Facebook Marketplace was the way to go. Against my better judgment, I caved.
I took every precaution—entered my details, enabled two-factor authentication, and meticulously set every privacy option to “Only Me” in a desperate attempt to keep my data from being scattered across the internet like confetti. I was finally ready to post my first ad.
Then—BANG! Account suspended. Reason? Apparently, I had used my account for threatening purposes to harm humanity.
Yep. You read that right.
Either my email address is a national security threat, or my surname is on some secret blacklist reserved for supervillains. I don’t know. But suddenly, I was being treated like I had just declared war on the entire planet.
No problem, I thought. There’s an appeal button! Surely, the all-powerful overlords of Facebook would review my case fairly. I clicked it, half-expecting Mark Zuckerberg himself to pop up in a digital courtroom, gavel in hand, ready to determine my fate.
Instead, I was hit with this delightful message:
“We need to take a selfie of you to prove that it’s you. Turn your camera on and spin your head 360 degrees.”
Yep. You read that right.
This wasn’t just a selfie request. It was full-on surveillance-level biometric scanning, the kind of stuff you’d expect from a dystopian sci-fi movie. The process felt eerily similar to Apple’s Face ID scan—except, you know, this wasn’t for unlocking my phone. It was just to prove that I, a mere mortal trying to sell some used items online, was not, in fact, a global threat.
Here’s where it gets really interesting.
Like any privacy-conscious human being, I keep my webcam covered unless I’m actively using it. So, imagine my surprise when Facebook somehow turned it on despite my settings blocking all incoming connections.
That’s right. The almighty Facebook—paragon of ethical data practices—managed to bypass my device’s security and attempt a facial scan. Good news for me? They saw nothing but a solid black screen.
But let’s reflect on this for a moment:
My name, surname, and email address are apparently as dangerous as an atomic bomb.
Facebook’s sneaky enforcement of biometric data collection, on the other hand, is completely normal and not at all a concern for human rights or privacy.
Yeah, this all makes perfect sense.
Moral of the story, stay hundreds of thousands of kilometres away from Facebook and its charming little ecosystem of surveillance capitalism. You will be just fine.