'Beer Hunter' lifts 40,000 pints of Guinness

[edesignuk]

Guinness's St James's Gate brewery in Dublin has been hit by an audacious raid in which an evidently thirsty man dubbed "the Beer Hunter" made off with 40,000 pints of the famous stout.

According to the Times, the perp simply drove into the brewery yard in his own HGV, hitched it to a "well-provisioned" trailer and drove out again. The total pintage nicked was 360 kegs of Guinness and Budweiser and 90 kegs of Carlsberg, worth a total of £46,000.

A spokeswoman for Diageo Ireland, owner of Guinness, said: "We've never had such a breach of security prior to this and we're taking it extremely seriously. All CCTV footage on site is being viewed and the Gardai are also looking at CCTV footage along the quays. The haul has a significant value. We have more trailers coming in and out as we are coming up to Christmas."

The spokeswoman rather brilliantly added: "What could they possibly want with all that beer?" ®

Reg.

 

[iBlue]

Maybe the 'perp' wants to fill a pool with it. I think all those bubbles would feel... interesting.

 

[rdowns]

You know how the police always hold back a fact or two to try and trap the perp? I have it on good authority that this doll was dropped by the thief.

 

[Lau]

Maybe the 'perp' wants to fill a pool with it. I think all those bubbles would feel... interesting.

Guinness isn't fizzy enough for such shenanigans. I'd imagine.

You would get a full body length Guinness moustache, though.

 

[Queso]

Pure Genius

 

[calculus]

You know how the police always hold back a fact or two to try and trap the perp? I have it on good authority that this doll was dropped by the thief.

If I remember correctly the gentleman in question established his alibii yesterday evening - something to do with not liking Guinness ...

 

[iBlue]

Guinness isn't fizzy enough for such shenanigans. I'd imagine.

You would get a full body length Guinness moustache, though.

Foamy! They did steal budweiser too though and that's some bubbly shyte!

Pure Genius Guinness

I fixed that for ya

 

[rdowns]

If I remember correctly the gentleman in question established his alibii yesterday evening - something to do with not liking Guinness ...

Refuted...

The total pintage nicked was 360 kegs of Guinness and Budweiser and 90 kegs of Carlsberg,

 

[Queso]

I fixed that for ya

I'll let you off for being new

 

[bartelby]

You know how the police always hold back a fact or two to try and trap the perp? I have it on good authority that this doll was dropped by the thief.

I hate guinness AND Budscheisser...


*pushes Carlsberg under table with foot*

 

[iBlue]

I'll let you off for being new

<IMG>

oh s***!



<slinks away>

 

[Abstract]

Foamy! They did steal budweiser too though and that's some bubbly shyte!

Surely they mean Budvar. Why would you sell American Budweiser? That's something you'd flush....

 

[iBlue]

Surely they mean Budvar. Why would you sell American Budweiser? That's something you'd flush....

...or just fill a pool with for a swim.

 

[Jaffa Cake]

...or just fill a pool with for a swim.

Or clean the pool with.

 

[xlii]

Beer should be free. Free Beer! Raise a glass to the Beer Hunter!

 

[aricher]

I just like the ® at the end of "What could they possibly want with all that beer?" ®

Sound like a great marketing catch phrase that Guinness should start using.

 

[Jaffa Cake]

Raise a glass to the Beer Hunter!

Only if he's robbing from the rich (the brewery) to give to the poor (the general public), in the manner of Robin Hood. Instead, I suspect bartelby the criminals behind this will be flogging it for their own gain.

Unless of course they're just planning on drinking it all themselves, in which case they will indeed be merry men by the time they've finished.

 

[Counterfit]

Or clean the pool with.

But then you'd just have piss-colored pool walls.

And before anyone says it, not all American beer is sex in a canoe. But for the ones that are (Butt Light, Michelob Ultra, etc.), well, that's just an affront to water everywhere.




Seriously, who steals Buttwiper?

 

[Jaffa Cake]

And before anyone says it, not all American beer is sex in a canoe.

Indeed, there are some rather fine American brews. Unfortunately for our intrepid beer bandits they ended up with the Bud...

 

[Lau]

And before anyone says it, not all American beer is sex in a canoe.

I may be having a slow evening, but am struggling with this one...

 

[Jaffa Cake]

I may be having a slow evening, but am struggling with this one...

It's ****ing close to water, I believe.

 

[Lau]

It's ****ing close to water, I believe.

Splendid.

 

[bluesjam]

Whiskey gin brandy
with a glass I'm pretty handy
Have a drink on me.