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Best Course of Action ("Personal Attack")

Z

zflauaus

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Nov 19, 2004
1,166
3
Ok, so I wouldn't necessarily call it a personal attack, but I can't think of what else to call it. There's this guy who went to my school for a whole 4 days or so (left because he heard of the term papers we have to do:rolleyes:) and he added me on MySpace (sorry everyone!) as one of his friends. No contact whatever, so then he proceeds to send me a message:

Stupid Idiot on MySpace said:
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ~withheld~
Date: Sep 27, 2007 10:47 PM
who is this?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Flauaus
Date: 27 Sep 2007, 21:01
I go to Nashville High School. Umm... you added me. Idk how, but yeah.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ~withheld~
Date: Sep 28, 2007 4:01 PM
yai used to go to that school u sat by me in lunch r u gay?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Flauaus
Date: 28 Sep 2007, 15:06
No. The only time I sat by you was when I was sitting by ~withheld~.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: ~withheld~
Date: Sep 29, 2007 1:38 AM
ya u seemed pretty queer man sorry......
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Let's just say he got my blood pressure up. I'm not gay. I don't even know how he thinks I could be gay because I never talked to him. I don't know if he watched me talking to this girl at lunch and if I did something that might have thrown him off or something of the like, but I'm not really sure what to do at this point. He's off the friends list and is most likely going to be blocked.

So what would y'all do? Respond or not? I'm thinking about not responding and just letting him think whatever he wants.

And if this is a completely idiotic thread, just say and I'll take it down. I just need to get it out and nobody else is online at 2 in the morning.:eek:
 
Erm....all he's done is ask you whether you're gay or not. If you don't mind I'd like to know exactly why you consider that a personal attack. Are you inferring that by asking you whether you are gay he was in some way insulting you? In which case how come you think he has the issues here?
 
dynamicv said:
Erm....all he's done is ask you whether you're gay or not. If you don't mind I'd like to know exactly why you consider that a personal attack. Are you inferring that by asking you whether you are gay he was in some way insulting you? In which case how come you think he has the issues here?
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He's probably most bothered by the "ya u seemed pretty queer man sorry......" comment.
 
EricNau said:
He's probably most bothered by the "ya u seemed pretty queer man sorry......" comment.
Click to expand...
Once again though. How exactly is that an insult? It's just the reason the guy asked the question as far as I can see. And the person who says it even then apologises for making an incorrect assumption.

I think the OP needs to have a think about why he views this as bad. No offensive term for gays or anything else was used. Overreacting in this way comes across as a bit insecure that's all.
 
Just ignore him. Even if he was trying to aggravate you...does it really matter? Like you said, you didn't even know him, and being called a gay is such a generic and childish playground taunt.
 
Tell him thanks for thinking you have a higher earning power than normal, a strong party reputation, a hit with the ladies, and an enhanced fashion sense.

Would you be angry and insulted if someone said they thought you were British (or whatever, without speaking to you)? So why be insulted if they said they thought you were gay?

I agree, best to just ignore him and block his messages or whatever you do on facebook.

Or tell him you didn't sit with him as he was so beautiful you were all shy :)
 
xJulianx said:
This is probably what I would do, turn it all around and try to make him the one feeling uncomfortable and wanting to block me :D
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But then you're assuming he wasn't asking in the hope of a hookup. Maybe in his own bumbling way he was gearing up to saying he finds the OP quite attractive.
 
He's looking for a reaction, so don't give him one.

Though the 'too shy to sit by you' line would work equally, too. I may in fact even go with that one.
 
dynamicv said:
But then you're assuming he wasn't asking in the hope of a hookup. Maybe in his own bumbling way he was gearing up to saying he finds the OP quite attractive.
Click to expand...

You're right, I'm assuming it is a childish taunt because I have been subjected to this kind of thing too.
 
dynamicv said:
Once again though. How exactly is that an insult? It's just the reason the guy asked the question as far as I can see. And the person who says it even then apologises for making an incorrect assumption.

I think the OP needs to have a think about why he views this as bad. No offensive term for gays or anything else was used. Overreacting in this way comes across as a bit insecure that's all.
Click to expand...

First of all, let me just say that I am gay, and I personally find the term "queer" to be extreamly offensive. I know that most gay people in my generation don't find it offensive, but I do because it is basically like you are calling someone "weird" or "not normal".

And If I wasn't gay, I would find it even mor offensive especially because of the way that guy just went ahead and thought he could just add him on myspace and say something like "Ya you seem pretty queer man"

I think he has more than enough reason to be mad.

Okay now on to zflauaus.

If I were you, I would just ignore him. sending him an angry message back is only going to give him what he wants. Take it from a gay man in a conservitive school system. Getting angry at the person is a lost cause. especially if you are straight! So yes. I hope he leaves you alone. Just delete him.

omg! I just realized this is my first post! yay me! Ahem, sorry. ^.^ feel free to PM me or whatever. =]

-Will
 
prettyas3.14 said:
First of all, let me just say that I am gay, and I personally find the term "queer" to be extremely offensive. I know that most gay people in my generation don't find it offensive, but I do because it is basically like you are calling someone "weird" or "not normal".
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There's a huge difference between saying someone is a bit queer when the subject of their orientation has already been breached, and someone calling you an effing queer. Take it from this gay man in the generation before yours (assuming you are a student in that school system) that word used in the context stated isn't offensive at all to any of the gays I know or hang around with.

Anyway, welcome to MR :)
 
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