Best Course of Action ("Personal Attack")

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by zflauaus, Sep 29, 2007.

  1. zflauaus macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    #1
    Ok, so I wouldn't necessarily call it a personal attack, but I can't think of what else to call it. There's this guy who went to my school for a whole 4 days or so (left because he heard of the term papers we have to do:rolleyes:) and he added me on MySpace (sorry everyone!) as one of his friends. No contact whatever, so then he proceeds to send me a message:

    Let's just say he got my blood pressure up. I'm not gay. I don't even know how he thinks I could be gay because I never talked to him. I don't know if he watched me talking to this girl at lunch and if I did something that might have thrown him off or something of the like, but I'm not really sure what to do at this point. He's off the friends list and is most likely going to be blocked.

    So what would y'all do? Respond or not? I'm thinking about not responding and just letting him think whatever he wants.

    And if this is a completely idiotic thread, just say and I'll take it down. I just need to get it out and nobody else is online at 2 in the morning.:eek:
     
  2. thebassoonist macrumors 6502a

    thebassoonist

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Location:
    Davis, CA
    #2
    projecting

    sounds like he's projecting something he's repressed on to you.

    not to get all freudian or anything.

    :)
     
  3. EricNau Moderator emeritus

    EricNau

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Location:
    San Francisco, CA
    #4
    Just ignore him.

    ...A comment like that really shouldn't get you worked up like it has.
     
  4. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #5
    Erm....all he's done is ask you whether you're gay or not. If you don't mind I'd like to know exactly why you consider that a personal attack. Are you inferring that by asking you whether you are gay he was in some way insulting you? In which case how come you think he has the issues here?
     
  5. EricNau Moderator emeritus

    EricNau

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Location:
    San Francisco, CA
    #6
    He's probably most bothered by the "ya u seemed pretty queer man sorry......" comment.
     
  6. bartelby macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    #7
    Why be bothered by that?
     
  7. EricNau Moderator emeritus

    EricNau

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Location:
    San Francisco, CA
    #8
    Well, if you're asking me, just look at my comment a few posts up. ;)

    Don't shoot the messenger. :p
     
  8. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #9
    Once again though. How exactly is that an insult? It's just the reason the guy asked the question as far as I can see. And the person who says it even then apologises for making an incorrect assumption.

    I think the OP needs to have a think about why he views this as bad. No offensive term for gays or anything else was used. Overreacting in this way comes across as a bit insecure that's all.
     
  9. xJulianx macrumors 6502a

    xJulianx

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2006
    Location:
    Brighton, UK
    #10
    Just ignore him. Even if he was trying to aggravate you...does it really matter? Like you said, you didn't even know him, and being called a gay is such a generic and childish playground taunt.
     
  10. RedTomato macrumors 68040

    RedTomato

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Location:
    .. London ..
    #11
    Tell him thanks for thinking you have a higher earning power than normal, a strong party reputation, a hit with the ladies, and an enhanced fashion sense.

    Would you be angry and insulted if someone said they thought you were British (or whatever, without speaking to you)? So why be insulted if they said they thought you were gay?

    I agree, best to just ignore him and block his messages or whatever you do on facebook.

    Or tell him you didn't sit with him as he was so beautiful you were all shy :)
     
  11. xJulianx macrumors 6502a

    xJulianx

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2006
    Location:
    Brighton, UK
    #12
    This is probably what I would do, turn it all around and try to make him the one feeling uncomfortable and wanting to block me :D
     
  12. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #13
    But then you're assuming he wasn't asking in the hope of a hookup. Maybe in his own bumbling way he was gearing up to saying he finds the OP quite attractive.
     
  13. iMacZealot macrumors 68020

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    #14
    He's looking for a reaction, so don't give him one.

    Though the 'too shy to sit by you' line would work equally, too. I may in fact even go with that one.
     
  14. xJulianx macrumors 6502a

    xJulianx

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2006
    Location:
    Brighton, UK
    #15
    You're right, I'm assuming it is a childish taunt because I have been subjected to this kind of thing too.
     
  15. prettyas3.14 macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2007
    Location:
    Broadway (hehe I wish)
    #16
    First of all, let me just say that I am gay, and I personally find the term "queer" to be extreamly offensive. I know that most gay people in my generation don't find it offensive, but I do because it is basically like you are calling someone "weird" or "not normal".

    And If I wasn't gay, I would find it even mor offensive especially because of the way that guy just went ahead and thought he could just add him on myspace and say something like "Ya you seem pretty queer man"

    I think he has more than enough reason to be mad.

    Okay now on to zflauaus.

    If I were you, I would just ignore him. sending him an angry message back is only going to give him what he wants. Take it from a gay man in a conservitive school system. Getting angry at the person is a lost cause. especially if you are straight! So yes. I hope he leaves you alone. Just delete him.

    omg! I just realized this is my first post! yay me! Ahem, sorry. ^.^ feel free to PM me or whatever. =]

    -Will
     
  16. Queso macrumors G4

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2006
    #17
    There's a huge difference between saying someone is a bit queer when the subject of their orientation has already been breached, and someone calling you an effing queer. Take it from this gay man in the generation before yours (assuming you are a student in that school system) that word used in the context stated isn't offensive at all to any of the gays I know or hang around with.

    Anyway, welcome to MR :)
     
  17. runningman macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2003

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