I wonder if I'm missing something. It seems as if I am the only one frustrated by iPhoto.
Question for you:
I have 37,000 photo in 347 events. (Over 6 years, so about 5 events per month, on average.)
What are your numbers? I find that the people who have trouble with events are the ones that just go with whatever the camera gives them and don't combine or work with them in any way. That often leads to dozens of events per month with 3 or 4 photos in each event.
So how many events do you have? If you let them get away from you I could see how they could become overwhelming.