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Business Card Critique

F

Foxdog175

macrumors regular
Original poster
Apr 3, 2008
149
68
Hey, all. I've been coming here for a few years to get my fix on Apple rumors mostly, but this is my first visit to the community.

I would really appreciate a crit for a business card I'm designing for myself. As a recent graduate with an emphasis on 3D modeling, I've been hunting for a full time position for it. For the time being though, I figured I would make a business card that I can pass around...just something to get work coming my way.

The idea of the card really is just the construction of design in all aspects. Does it come off that way though? I'm wondering if the crane isn't passing the correct message.

http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e256/foxdog175/?action=view&current=bretBizCard.jpg

I'm unsure of why the 83% version is giving it a blue tint. Clicking on the full size should correct it.
 
I collect business cards for a living, I appreciate a nice card.

That said, the crane was only cute once I noticed it was holding the "N" up or whatever it is doing. First thoughts, it needed to be anchored to something on the card. The darker gray just below it for example wouldn't hurt.

The hands, the fingers pointing...lose them. It felt very powerpoint'ish. Sorry just my opinion.

I do not like the decision to use every font in the font book. It seems amateurish to me. Also, the outerglow with "CG Design".

I guess frankly the card doesn't appeal to me personally. I would question your design capabilities if I saw the card. I bet you're probably better than your card. :)

Overall you used a lot of different elements that do not flow well in the card. One element doesn't seem to translate well into the other. It isn't meant to be harsh coming from me but since you are a designer I guess harsh words sit easy, or maybe they don't.
 
I agree completely with everything in jessica.'s post. To her comments, I add that don't like the grayscale color scheme--at lot. Notice how you can barely read your contact information because it is black text against a dark gray background?
 
I appreciate the crit, especially from someone like you. The crane having an anchor was something I thought about too. Lowering it too far just gave a lot of open space. On the fonts, I actually only used 2. The 3 areas (modeling, design, & web dev) are a different font from the rest of the card. I'll kill that font.

Back to anchoring the crane, I could probably just extend the cylinder. If I anchored it to the top of the contact info, the angle would likely have to be changed also; otherwise, it wouldn't really sit level.

Something else that may be throwing you for a loop is the tribal work under my name. That mixed in with "cute" is questionable. Perhaps I should remove either the crane or the tribal look and stay consistent.

Would you agree?
 
whats that red/orange wavy logo? It looks washed out

I like the idea of the crane and it's been well modeled but i'm not sure it works on a business card. The card should be very simple and clean - dont be afraid of white space. I'd go with some subtle wavy lines and just contact details - your website is the place to put your portfolio not the business card.
 
Foxdog175 said:
Something else that may be throwing you for a loop is the tribal work under my name. That mixed in with "cute" is questionable. Perhaps I should remove either the crane or the tribal look and stay consistent.

Would you agree?
Click to expand...
I say both. They're both really not a place for your card to be honest. And I was kidding about being a collector. Sorry you took that seriously, I thought it came off funny but it could be the Bacardi. :)
 
Foxdog175 said:
Something else that may be throwing you for a loop is the tribal work under my name. That mixed in with "cute" is questionable. Perhaps I should remove either the crane or the tribal look and stay consistent.

Would you agree?
Click to expand...

I'm not a graphic expert though I've seen a lot of business cards in the last 40 years,
that said, here's my 2 cents worth,
the graphics (under your name) are an 'unknown' they add to the card, however they do not convey a message.
the crane's interaction with the text is not necessary, if you need to keep this 'action' increase it's effect on the text.
maybe I'm too old butt (I like to use that term a real lot), it's too dark, maybe.

as I said I'm not a graphics expert, just seen a lot of business cards,
a real lot :)
 
Well, Im going to play devil's advocate, but only a little. Perhaps its just that I have designed WAY too many Monty Python toy packages in my 3 year stint as a designer, but I dont agree with the whole "everything has to convey something" its just another rule that helps to constrain the artist's mind. A fellow designer once told me that Graphic Designers were artists who were too OCD to be "real" artists, that where colors and hues and quirkiness spoke to a painter, the conjured rules regarding those things are what appeals to the Designer. Sometimes a thing is just a thing. A few weeks ago a output a blistercard backer for a new Monty Python talking keychain, and as part of the humour I scribbled out a word and in handwriting wrote in something else. Its classic Monty Python; Terry, Cleese and the gang loved it as well. But when I sent it to the printer for a pre-press they sent it back saying it that apparently it wasn't completed, as someone had marked out a word as instructions to change it. Ugh. All in all, sometimes something is just as it needs to be, even though the rules say otherwise.

All that being said, I agree, lose the swooshy thing, single font, and yeah its a bit too dark. :p
 
Foxdog175 said:
I'm starting to go a much simpler route.

http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e256/foxdog175/?action=view&current=bretConcept2.jpg

I'd still like to do something with CG Artist and maybe something with the contact info, but this is the direction I'm going now.
Click to expand...


OK, given all I just posted I might get a book tossed at me.

But is everyone you hand this card to a 100% shoe-in to know what "CG Artist" means? I mean "CG" covers a lot ... Cackling Geese, Coy Gelatin, Cozy Granola, Crayon Grease, Cracker Goo, Curmudgeon Gait, Cattle Gate, Canvas Gluer, Cacophonous Gurgling, Coriander Gluer, Cat Gutter, ok ok ... Ill stop.
 
Abraxsis said:
as part of the humour I scribbled out a word and in handwriting wrote in something else. Its classic Monty Python; Terry, Cleese and the gang loved it as well. But when I sent it to the printer for a pre-press they sent it back saying it that apparently it wasn't completed, as someone had marked out a word as instructions to change it. Ugh. All in all, sometimes something is just as it needs to be, even though the rules say otherwise.
Click to expand...

You ARE a demi-god!
nuf said?
but no more praise for you.

About the card v2.0 and your general graphic observations,
I have designed dozens of business cards for myself and the only reason I keep on keeping on is that I am unable to let a 'thing just be a thing'.
I'm obsessive to the point of distraction, nay,
destruction.

BTW Foxdog the 'name' text drop shadow is perfect :)
 
As a designer, I've created hundreds of business cards. I think your first card was way too bland. There wasn't enough differentiation between the colors, so nothing stood out. It was just incredibly boring. To me the graphic on the first card conveyed your profession, but wasn't really suitable art for a biz card. And I don't think you would have been happy with it, once you had seen it printed.

The second card was a much better attempt. Your name stands out, the light blue is very nice to look at. The only thing that bothers me is the justification of each line. I can totally see how you were trying to follow the curves, but I guess I just prefer things to be more linear. To each their own...

Lastly, you should be proud of what you came up with. Too many people use hokey templates and print them on perforated inkjet paper!
 
Abraxsis said:
OK, given all I just posted I might get a book tossed at me.

But is everyone you hand this card to a 100% shoe-in to know what "CG Artist" means? I mean "CG" covers a lot ... Cackling Geese, Coy Gelatin, Cozy Granola, Crayon Grease, Cracker Goo, Curmudgeon Gait, Cattle Gate, Canvas Gluer, Cacophonous Gurgling, Coriander Gluer, Cat Gutter, ok ok ... Ill stop.
Click to expand...

Fixed. And before you say 3D art is too general, I'll tell you now that if someone has to ask what 3D art is, they don't need it.
 
with that show reel i don't know why you're wasting time making a business card! Just get 50 copies put onto DVD and send them round companies, you'll get a job in no time. Its a really nice reel!
 
Forget the card man.. your reel is much better looking than the card. The card looks bad and it doesn't do you any justice. One look at the card and I would think this guy's a hack. But you're not, your reel is pretty good.

And when I say the card design sucks, I'm using these card designs as the measuring stick:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dailypoetics/sets/72057594104389710/

Seriously, either get a simple black text on white card or no card at all.
 
As a 3D designer your card could be a bit better don't you think?

I have seen business cards with holograms and transparent plastic. They might be expensive, but wow they rock! :eek:
 
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