Can anybody help me out with a work problem?


macrumors regular
Original poster
Oct 4, 2011
Ok, so I'm pretty much the only male working at my job, the rest are females, except for another dude.

This dude is a couple of inches taller than me, a gun nut, was in the army, muscular, and a year or so older then me.

I am a pasty white kid who is pretty much the most chillaxted person on the planet, hates conflict.

Recently, I have had 1 female employee who is a friend of mine tell me that this other male was constantly nagging her to come over, and not taking no for an answer. Him and his friends would be drinking. She doesn't drink, is a couple of years younger and has a boyfriend. She told me that she was seriously creeped out about the whole experience.

On facebook, a few nights ago before I was told of this story, another co-worker of mine basically had the same experience with this male. It was a facebook conversation, so I was just skimming through the comments, and it was basically the same thing as the paragraph above. The only problem is this girl is even younger, about 4 years younger than he is, and single.

I don't know if they were flirting or it was just the same as the story my friend told me tonight.

If you were me, what would you do about it?

Rodimus Prime

macrumors G4
Oct 9, 2006
Ignore it. Assuming no one involved is underage, there's nothing you can do.
that what I would say. Stay out of it and say nothing. It is not your place. Now if she came to you for advice I would say tell her to report the harassment but other wise it is not your place to do anything.


I'll go with corporate policy here. If they feel harassed they should report it to HR. Don't know how big your company is but mine also has an Ombudsman for reporting these and other work related issues including compliance in case they don't feel comfortable with involving HR directly or speaking to their boss.

If you feel there is more to it and just have to do something, you should ensure you have irrefutable documentation on at least a couple of incidences of inappropriate behavior and report it to HR, but I would really advise against it, only get involved if asked to be a witness. Unless you feel the person is getting pressured into not reporting, then I would talk to HR and get their advice. Make sure you document that communication and get it signed by both you and HR and the language of the report is appropriate. Unfortunately you can't completely ignore mobbing either, you may get in trouble for not reporting, too.

The most important part is, don't EVER, EVER talk to the guy about it, it will just land you in deep ****, it's not your job to do it, that's HRs job and his supervisor's job. Even his supervisor should never walk into that discussion without backup from HR and possibly Legal.

So in summary, the best course of action is to recommend to them to report it to HR if they feel they are getting harassed or unduly approached.

My 2 cents.


macrumors Penryn
Dec 27, 2002
Location Location Location
If they're being harrassed, help them report it. You can't report it, but you can "hand hold" them through the process and just be there.

If he's just annoying, then forget it and let them deal with it. It's not illegal to ask someone out ---- repeatedly.


macrumors 601
Aug 14, 2008
Dallas, Texas
It sounds like you are talking about stuff that is happening "off the job". Obvioulsy FB is not on the job and unless I'm mistaken this other guy is not "drinking with his buddies" while at work.

Unless I'm missing something I don't see how this is a work related matter or a situation in which you should intervene. Be supportive of your friends, but that's about as far as it goes. Most girls know how to let a guy know that they are not interested and most guys will get the message.

Why do you think or feel the need to get involved?


macrumors 68020
Apr 7, 2008
Flea Bottom, King's Landing
You jealous?
Not any more. I used a 3-cent stamp and sent off some Charles Atlas books. I went from a 98lbs weakling to a 200lbs hunka hunk of man.:cool: Oh, I got some X-ray glasses and sea monkeys too.;)

Anyhow, in all seriousness. This is a job for HR. If the girls ain't gonna complain to HR, then tough cookies.


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