According to Apple Support and Gary R. of Macmost, programming keys to open apps is a simple process: Click the
, then System Preferences, then Keyboard, then Shortcuts tab, and select App Shortcuts. At this point I'll choose an app (e.g. Calculator) and an unused key combo (Command-Option-C, for example) or a Function key (I opted to use all Function Keys as standard for this reason). Nothing has been working so far. It seems like too easy of a process to screw up, so I'm wondering if this is a Mavericks issue.
Can you get this to work?

Can you get this to work?