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I don't think it sounds like celebrian23 and her boyfriend are polar opposites, just people with different interests that they're both happy with.

Contrary to Onizuka, I say why not? You're only 18, and that means you can see who you want for as long as you want. If you're happy spending time with him (and it sounds like you are) why give it up just because you think you might not marry him in 10 years? If you were 30 and were wanting kids soon and he didn't want to be a dad that might be different, but why worry about that now? You could get hit by a bus in a year or 5 years and have missed out on a relationship with a great guy that was great for you at the time. And in 10 years time, he may enjoy staying in more, and you might like going out. You never know.
 
He makes me happy. And I don't want to give that up just because I'm young. Even though chances are it won't work out, I can't deny the way I feel about him. I'd kind of like to ride the wave, and if it ends, I hope at least I learned something from it.
 
First of all, let's not take the "opposites attract" bit quite so literally. It's not so much opposites that fit well together in relationships, but complements. If you two complement each other well, it doesn't matter if some of your tastes are different.

I'm also going to point out a trend I've come to notice that might be helpful. There comes a point in a woman's life, usually around the mid 20s or so but has been known to vary, when she stops looking for the "fun" guy and starts looking for the "stable" guy. Maybe men do this too, but being a guy I don't much care about the dating patterns of other guys. If you're already at that point (and so is he) then good. If not, maybe you should ponder any other options you might have.
 
celebrian23 said:
He makes me happy. And I don't want to give that up just because I'm young. Even though chances are it won't work out, I can't deny the way I feel about him. I'd kind of like to ride the wave, and if it ends, I hope at least I learned something from it.

There. You've gone and answered your own question. See where the relationship takes you. You've got time.
 
celebrian23 said:
He's a party guy, who drinks heavily about once a week. He's definitely more on the wild side.

wow, if drinking once a week makes him a party guy.. i wonder what you would consider me. haha. i'm wasted pretty much every night. but hey, im in college. i get a free pass
 
celebrian23 said:
He makes me happy. And I don't want to give that up just because I'm young. Even though chances are it won't work out, I can't deny the way I feel about him. I'd kind of like to ride the wave, and if it ends, I hope at least I learned something from it.

I think it sounds like you are answering your own questions. Keep your eyes open, dont get caught up and try not to be blindsided by anything.

Ed
 
Shush... Ed's a little bitter. Which isn't to say that being hurt is unavoidable but still, enjoy your time. Don't be silly and miss all the great moments by being paranoid. :D
 
celebrian23 said:
I am young (18). I realize chances are it won't work out. But I'm not a fan of pointless relationships either. Neither of us was looking for anyone, we were acquaintences and we just clicked randomly about a month ago. He works as a cook at a restaurant, and he usually opens, so I don't get to see him much. Usually when he's free it's ver late, 11pm. So we can't rely on the physical stuff. He is older than me (22), but it's not like I didn't know him before. I know we feel the same way about each other. I'm thinkig no matter what, this will be a good learning experience. I love being with him. He gives me that complete feeling- you know how when you're alone you feel whole, but when you find that right person you feel like you must have been missing something before? I know though I'll change over the years. To me, I just wanted to know if we had the possibility of going for the long haul despite our differences. Just a possibility. I've had one other serious relationship, he's had 1 as well.


You know what it sounds like you guys have alot of fun together. This might sound up-front but stop worrying so much if it's gonna work out or not. You guys are having fun now, just keep it that way. As long as the guy is faithful to you then I wouldn't worry. However if he seems like the type that would cheat on a girl (in a drunken rage) then you should get out of that soon or else you're going to get hurt. But if not then just enjoy the ride. Good luck!
 
And thats another one. A woman could be having the best of times with a guy at everything they do. But then see, deep in that head of hers, she'll start to worry. Worry about all the wrong things that could happen. I think women need to overcome that. Because when they tell the guy "you know guy, I really enjoy spending time with you and your really fun to hang with but I think we should start seeing other people", its almost as if all that fun the girl had is not the fun she wants. Almost as if she is insecure of herself for having fun. Yeah kinda hard to understand but I have seen it. :eek:
 
Ed H said:
I think it sounds like you are answering your own questions. Keep your eyes open, dont get caught up and try not to be blindsided by anything.

Indeed, don't get caught up. Don't settle. Don't waste time in a relationship that you're not happy in. Just remember that a relationship should be mutually beneficial. I'm not saying everything has to be perfectly balanced, but one partner should not be significantly benefiting over the other. It's unhealthy when mutual benefit isn't there...

You seem happy now and that's great, but if that changes make sure to take serious stock of the relationship. Don't stay in a relationship because you don't want to hurt your partner or you feel sorry for your partner (yes this does happen). That time could be much better spent finding and being with someone who will truly make you happy.

Sounds obvious, but people get "caught up" all the time...
 
wow. When I was 18 this kinda question was the very last thing on my mind. Seriously tho, lighten up - live for fun and enjoy the last gasps of your childhood (no offence meant). You've probably got at least another 50 years to get serious about life and your lover.

Prior to my current relationship, my longest one was 3 months, and this one is heading for five years. Whats the point of that? well, I was 31 when we met..

so kick back, lighten up and bounce to the tunes of life.
 
good grief - I cant count. And (scarily) I'm older than I remembered..

we met when I was 34, not 31.. (is that forty I see bearing down on me at highway speed? *gulp*)

:eek:
 
celebrian23 said:
He makes me happy. And I don't want to give that up just because I'm young. Even though chances are it won't work out, I can't deny the way I feel about him. I'd kind of like to ride the wave, and if it ends, I hope at least I learned something from it.
Boom!

Who said an 18year old can't have a head on their shoulders? Seems like your approaching it with a very eyes-wide-open attitude, go for it!
 
I think opposites can definitely attract so long as they still have:

a) SOME things in common.

b) agreement on core things that shouldn't be compromised for someone else.

e
 
celebrian23 said:
I don't want to change him at all. I like him the way it is. Even if it means he'll go out while I'll probablyy stay home.

I've been in your situation. I was seven years older. She was the college party girl and I was a career oriented home body. She had lots of friends and I have a few close friends. She wanted to stay close to her family and I was willing to go anywhere. In the end, I am back home and she is 1500 miles from her family. We are both engaged to different people and probably all the better for it.

The truth of the matter is, if you are having doubts or trouble seeing if the relationship is going to work out, you might want to take a step back and think about it. Are you jelous of his partying? Do you have any fears of him messing around? Do you have a serious need for "alone time"? Do you have any common interests or things you enjoy doing together (biking, baseball games, gardening, etc.)?

I'm not sure how old you are, but take your time. Relax and use equal parts of your heart and your head.
 
I think the real question is:

does it really matter if it lasts? Sounds kind of cold, but what I'm trying to say is that you should enjoy it for what it is now, and not what it may or may not be in the future.
 
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