Can the Neo help me get a mistress?

[TSE]

Hi everyone.

Things with the wife just aren’t as exciting as they once were.

Until the iMac fold launches that allows me to easily transport my iMac, I am looking for a laptop that I can bring to places as a statement. Something that captures the attention and hearts of potential mistresses.

I want a laptop that makes all the guys wish they were me, and the girls wish they were with me.

My question for you all is, is the Neo the answer? If so, what color do you recommend? Should I spring for the upgraded version?

Thanks!

 

[DENNISAMCAFEE]

Be careful what you wish for!

 

[theluggage]

Things with the wife just aren’t as exciting as they once were.

I'd suggest the M5 Max 16" MBP with 128GB RAM, 4TB SSD, the nano-texture glass and his'n'hers microfibre cleaning cloths. Maybe get some wheels, too - they won't fit but they're so prestige.

Leave the reciept lying around. It will completely change your marriage.
🙂

 

[dmr727]

Picture this. You roll into a trendy bar. You sit down at a high top and set up your Yellow iMac. Some of the women start getting curious. They think, this guy is clearly a Creative - maybe a change from finance bros is what I need.

And then BAM, you reach into your messenger bag and pull out a Blush Neo. Now you've got everyone's attention. You log in using touch-ID. Yeah that's right ladies - this ain't the base model.

In the opposite corner of the bar sits a slightly older woman. She looks nice - sophisticated - and knows the score. She won't cause problems. No texts at 3am. No demand for a divorce. But there's hesitancy there. This is a woman that cut her teeth in the G3 era - think Carrie Bradshaw with a Lombard or Pismo. This might take a little more work.

But you know what to do. Pull out the Cougar Kryptonite. You look at your Yellow iMac: "Hey Siri, play some Eurythmics."

BOOM. It's on.

 

[BotchQue]

That is why I bought the iPhone Air.

It didn't work.

 

[Zazoh]

I want a laptop that makes all the guys wish they were me, and the girls wish they were with me.

This is the right attitude and how I make all my purchases.

I will say, if your profile pic is you and not Joe Rogan, then get the Neo Blush, it will make you appear softer. If it is Joe Rogan, I'm afraid you're going to have to make it work with your wife. 🤣

 

[TSE]

So I bought one and brought it to the Hotel Marlton to find a sophisticated late night friend. Met a few beautiful prospects with my Citrus top spec MacBook Neo as the centerpiece of every conversation.

But I came home to a wrecked house. My heart dropped. I ran to the bedroom to find my wife hysterically. My wife found the receipt for the Neo and immediately knew. A woman’s intuition is quite sharp.

We are going to couples therapy to patch things up.

So to conclude this thread: yes, the Neo will get you a mistress. But it’s not worth it. Learn from me and work on your marriage!

 

[mblm85]

You want a Blush one.

The ladies are really keen on them!

(Sample: 3 hetrosexual women in my friend group, and many TikTok's by female creators)

 

[LIVEFRMNYC]

Everybody knows, Foldables are the only way to get attention from the ladies. 😂