It seems like you are still considering rolling your old 401k into a new 401k. I don't understand what benefit you think you will gain from that. All I see are negatives.
I mentioned two pretty big potential advantages in my post. My wife’s university plan has significantly better options than we can get on the open market - lower costs even for things like Vanguard Index funds through their institutional shares, and access to products like TIAA Traditional in flavors that are otherwise unavailable. Perhaps even more importantly is the potential loss of access to contribute to a Roth IRA if you do or will exceed the income limits for direct contributions. The loss of up to $11k/year of tax-advantaged Roth space for a married couple is a big deal.