Warmth indicates work being done. If that work is done faster, then the heat generated will be concentrated in that shorter time span. If the work goes slower, the heat generated will be spread over a longer period. Overall, if you were to count the calories - similar number of calories.
There's a basic principle that exposing batteries (and other electronic components) to higher temperatures will shorten overall life. Whether that heat comes from charging the battery or discharging the battery isn't going to matter much. Best route towards long battery life? Don't charge too fast, and don't use the phone in ways that use a lot of power (phone calls, high-intensity calculations/graphics, etc.).
But to me, the entire phone is a tool. Tools are meant to be used to do work. If you wear it out sooner, it means you've been doing more work. By all means, avoid abusing your tool so it's available to do work for as long as possible. But anything short of "abuse" is "normal use" - if you avoid normal use in order to make something last longer... then what's the point of having the thing in the first place?