Computer Industry Joke

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by IBradMac, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. IBradMac macrumors 68000


    Jun 27, 2008
    This came to me in an email this morning. I thought it was worth sharing...

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
    computers have enhanced our lives, read on..
    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

    'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
    would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
    cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
    Twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
    buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
    would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
    shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
    continue. For some reason you would simply accept this..

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
    have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
    run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
    be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation'
    warning light.

    I love the next one!!!

    7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
    and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
    handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
    how to drive all over again
    because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

    PS - when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some
    foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix
    your car yourself!!!!

    Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -
    their computer!
  2. sushi Moderator emeritus


    Jul 19, 2002
    This is a good but very old (late 90's) joke. :)
  3. themoonisdown09 macrumors 601


    Nov 19, 2007
    Georgia, USA
    That's pretty funny. I know I've heard this before.
  4. Unspoken Demise macrumors 68040

    Unspoken Demise

    Apr 16, 2009
  5. niuniu macrumors 68020


    Mar 29, 2009
    A man of the people. The right sort of people.
    Linux would make a car that was exactly the way you wanted and you could change it as often as you liked. But if you crashed you'd spend a long time putting together all the lego bricks to make it again.
  6. gilkisson macrumors 65816


    Meanwhile, as all the PC-cars are trundling along, here comes a bunch of snowboarder-looking kids, riding their iPhone skateboards, weaving in and out of traffic. Also, up in the sky, isn't that Steve Jobs riding some kind of magic carpet tablet? I hope he shares it with us on the ground...;)
  7. localoid macrumors 68020


    Feb 20, 2007
    America's Third World
    This is like deja vu all over again

    Yep. It's an old joke, but one that's evolved, several times, over the years, apparently starting as a three-line joke in 1997.

    Snopes even has a page about the joke, since it's sometimes circulated as a "true story" that the (e-mail) sender claims "really happened".
  8. BENI macrumors regular


    Jun 27, 2009
    I don't care when that was written it is genius!:D

    thankyou for leavening the mundanity of my day.

    also - Niuniu - I like your linux as well.

    it's a shame it is not further from the truth.:rolleyes:

    I would say though (as a PC user converted to mac I think I have seen both sides of this) that a mac may run on only 5% of roads but it runs on the ones I want it too and they are better quality roads.
    I thought the downside to using a mac rather than PC (windows really I suppose) would be that there would be a much reduced variety of free/open-source software. I am pleased to be proven wrong by the discovery that there is still plenty of freeware but of a much higher quality generaly and not so much useless stuff.

    As far as I am concerned I wish GM would keep computers as far away from cars as possible. a car is for getting from one place to another the more complicated that gets the harder it gets.
    if People can't write a program that is completely free of crashing under any circumstances it shouldn't be put in charge of anything serious.And yes that means your holiday photos as well.

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