i'm going to comment what i heard sound-wise, not song-wise....
the best thing you've got going on is your voice, it's got a really nice quality to it. processing-wise, i think there's too much reverb. i think you'd do better by playing with some very small and subtle delays to create some space around it, so you can back off the reverb. i also don't think the mic you're using is doing your voice any favors, it's not capturing what would probably be a very nice body and i can hear too much sibilance.
sounds to me that your levels were too low on the acoustic and you're not getting enough signal to noise. i.e. the acoustic track has too much self-noise (from what i can hear, i realize i may not be hearing it right). maybe you can talk a little bit about mic placement and we can see if improvements can be made there.
the last thing that jumps out is the cymbal sound, it's a little too splashy imo.
here's the good news -- overall, i think you've got a pretty good sense of engineering and, with practice and better gear, could turn out some really nice-sounding stuff. imo, you're at the enviable stage of having outgrown your gear. (too many people have good gear but no sense of what to do with it)
