Dating. . .*sigh*

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by barkomatic, Oct 3, 2008.

?

After the Date with a person you don't Like:

  1. You tell the person why don't want to see them again.

    10 vote(s)
    40.0%
  2. You just don't commit to another date and stop contacting them

    15 vote(s)
    60.0%
  1. barkomatic macrumors 68040

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2008
    Location:
    Manhattan
    #1
    So, you go on a first or second date with someone. They are nice but during the date you realize you're not interested and don't really want to continue seeing that person -- and don't need anymore friends.

    Do you tell the person off the bat its not gonna work? How do you deal with follow-up questions that you know aren't going to make the person feel good when they get the answer?

    If its a first or second date, do you even owe the person an explanation and --do they want one?

    Of course, this post is motivated by personal experience. :) I went on a few first dates several weeks ago and at the end when I politely told the person I wasn't interested it was like I was breaking up with someone I had had a 3 year relationship with or something. I knew there was a reason I stayed in bedroom with my PS3.

    I changed my strategy and decided to simply not schedule another date with someone but continued to get trailing text messages and calls asking "why".

    Personally, when I've dated someone I realize isn't interested in *me* I "get it" when the person doesn't commit to a date immediately after the first one and doesn't contact me. Since its only a first(or even a second) date I'm honestly not hurt.

    If you have dated recently or remember when you did--did you remember wanting closure and a reason after a first or second date that didn't work out for the other person or did you not care?
     
  2. heehee macrumors 68020

    heehee

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Location:
    Same country as Santa Claus
    #2
    If it were me, I wouldn't contact them anymore and hope they get the idea. If they call, I would politely tell him I'm not interested. Usually they get it when you don't call.
     
  3. tkidBOSTON macrumors 6502a

    tkidBOSTON

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2005
    Location:
    The Hub of the Universe
    #3
    After a first date or second date, no explaination necessary.
    After a third date, I think something needs to be said, even if its just as simple as "I just don't think the chemistry is there".

    Regardless, if the other party calls more than twice after attempting to just let if fall by the wayside, I think it'd be better to give the person atleast a call to let them know you're not interested (if for no other reason than to make the calls/ texts stop).
     
  4. 7on macrumors 601

    7on

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2003
    Location:
    Dress Rosa
    #4
    I think you should tell them. Though I've only dated friends of friends so it'd make it awkward to just break off contact.
     
  5. bobr1952 macrumors 68020

    bobr1952

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Location:
    Melbourne, FL
  6. Raid macrumors 68020

    Raid

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2003
    Location:
    Toronto
    #6
    After the first few dates there's nothing wrong with saying you're not interested, just try to be as gentle and friendly as possible. If you like hanging out with them in a platonic relationship you might get a chance to hook up with one of her friends. ;) (Just make sure she knows that you and her are only going to be platonic though)

    Oh and don't tell them why you're not interested in dating them, just tell them that you don't think the romantic relationship between you should continue.
     
  7. rpaloalto macrumors 6502a

    rpaloalto

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Location:
    Palo Alto CA.
    #7
    I would think after a few dates, you should at least give this person a reason for not wanting to see them anymore. Don't just ignore their phone calls or text messages, thats immature and lazy. Man Up or be a Lady, what ever your case maybe.

    Just tell them, tell them any thing you want. Even lie to them if you have to.

    You could say You just got a new job at Apple. Now you have to give all 110% of you self to Steve jobs at Apple, so you wont have any time for personal relationships. ;)
     
  8. barkomatic thread starter macrumors 68040

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2008
    Location:
    Manhattan
    #8
    Thanks everyone! I got a text message from a person I went on one date with a month ago asking why I didn't ask for another--really nice and I feel soooooo guilty.
     
  9. iJohnHenry macrumors P6

    iJohnHenry

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2008
    Location:
    On tenterhooks
    #9
    "I think it's time we started to see other people." ;)
     
  10. larapumkin macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2008
    #10
    is really there any other reasons if you don wanna see someone no more other than 'i don't like him/her'?
    telling i don't like this and that of you is not so good one imo. just keep it short and stop contact
     
  11. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #11
    After a few dates, you should still break it off officially. Don't just cut off contact. That's just uncouth.

    At least send her a fracking SMS to break it off. Whatever. As long as she knows.

    After a greater number of dates, you do probably owe her a phone call break-up, minimum.
     

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