Decipher this behavior (relationship advice needed)

jade

macrumors 6502
Original poster
May 3, 2003
331
2
Do you think this friend wants to take it a step further? Have a long-time friend (with periods of on and off). Lately it is an 'on' period. Thought things were the same until after a recent message post outing. Spent the evening dinner/drinks/scoping with friends. Typically we like to pick out someone for each other, so this outing was more of the same. Later that evening when we got home, I got an iM 40 minutes later with the lyrics of the last song we listened to before parting ways. Here is the note that I got. What do you think it means? [more context, previously we used to speak in song lyrics for regular conversation]

Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue

How often do you guys spit out song lyrics to your friends?
 

gadgetgirl85

macrumors 68040
Mar 24, 2006
3,566
95
Is your friend shy? If he is it sounds like in an indirect way he wants you to initiate the first move.
 

Abstract

macrumors Penryn
Dec 27, 2002
24,414
124
Location Location Location
It's a difficult situation because you don't know what he's thinking, and you weren't really prepared for this sort of thing with a friend. I'd be a bit startled as well.

I don't know how you feel, but if you love him, just tell him that IIIIIII, will love youuu, babyyyyyy.....ALLLLLLLLWAAAYYYS.....and I'll be there till the stars don't shine, till the heavens burst, and the words don't rhyme - And I know when I die - You'll be on my mind - And I'll love you........Allllways ---------- So come on baby - Come on over - Let me be the one to show you....I'm the one who want's to beeee with youuuu - Deep inside I hope you feel it tooooo - Waited on a line of greens and blues - Just to be the next TO beee with you --------- I like big butts and I cannot lie.


Or something like that. ;)
 

lanray

macrumors regular
Mar 18, 2005
238
3
Lionel Rules

Really, "Easy Like Sunday Morning" is one of the best songs, ever.

Back to OP: much has been made about reading into or out of this or that particular way of saying things, and what does it mean? Really, if you like this person, go for it. The worse that can happen is that they'll say no and move on. Since you're on again off again, no biggie. Chances they won't move on or ridicule.

In other words, plant a big smooch.

got "Easy..." in my head. Nice.
 

jade

macrumors 6502
Original poster
May 3, 2003
331
2
Abstract said:
-1 point for knowing that she quoted Lionel Ritchie. :p
10 bonus game show points for lionel richie...can we say "world series of pop culture" champion?
 

beatsme

macrumors 65816
Oct 6, 2005
1,204
1
jade said:
Do you think this friend wants to take it a step further? Have a long-time friend (with periods of on and off). Lately it is an 'on' period. Thought things were the same until after a recent message post outing. Spent the evening dinner/drinks/scoping with friends. Typically we like to pick out someone for each other, so this outing was more of the same. Later that evening when we got home, I got an iM 40 minutes later with the lyrics of the last song we listened to before parting ways. Here is the note that I got. What do you think it means? [more context, previously we used to speak in song lyrics for regular conversation]

Because I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue

How often do you guys spit out song lyrics to your friends?
sorry, but you're male and your friend is female? Or is it the other way 'round? I ask because I would read it a little differently, depending...you know?
 

angelneo

macrumors 68000
Jun 13, 2004
1,541
0
afk
beatsme said:
sorry, but you're male and your friend is female? Or is it the other way 'round? I ask because I would read it a little differently, depending...you know?
Jaded is a she.... Her "friend" is a he.

Personally. I think your friend should be more straight forward, no use beating around the bush
 

Cloud9

macrumors regular
Aug 10, 2005
229
0
between flesh and thought
Ok,

First Off... Dudes that play around with song lyrics/CDs to express emotions are SUPER shy and hide alot behind a veneer. Often times they dont even know the depth of what they feel untill they start getting to let it manifest.

Secondly, Of course he likes you. I have no doubt. Ive seen it so many times in so many ways, and its a very specific type that does the whole lyric thing.

Are you into him? If yes, encourage it, and dont be afraid to be assertive, gentle should go along with it. These lyric dudes dont tend to be the move in for the kill types. They like to know what kind of ground they are standing on in the initial stages.

If not into him, act like nothings happened, ignore it. If he's ever direct which, may or may not happen, then be direct back. Other wise theres nothing to worry about. Lyric dudes like to save face. (They also have interesting tempers-probably cause they are passionate.)
 

Chundles

macrumors G4
Jul 4, 2005
11,966
375
Question One: Drunk??

Question Two: No seriously, drunk??

Question Three: D'ya wanna??

If "Yes" than go for it. If "No" then send back lyrics to "Why Can't we be friends" and be done with it.
 

beatsme

macrumors 65816
Oct 6, 2005
1,204
1
Cloud9 said:
Of course he likes you. I have no doubt.
I'd have to agree. It seems pretty obvious that he likes you.

I have a little lady friend that I'm quite fond of, and we're sort of "affectionate friends." No horseplay or anything, just flirting and that kind of stuff. Do you two have that kind of relationship, one where you've both acknowledged that there's chemistry between you two? Or is this (I'm guessing it is) a sudden development?
 

Xander562

macrumors 68000
Apr 2, 2006
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if he's generally a shy person, that listens to a lot of music, then i think it means he likes you, i think, this could be a good episode of Seinfeld.
 

iGav

macrumors G3
Mar 9, 2002
9,025
1
jade said:
What do you think it means?
That he's a stalker???

Haven't you ever seen the video??? :eek: It's just like it... though instead of making cranky phone calls to you, he's sending you cranky text messages.
 

Abstract

macrumors Penryn
Dec 27, 2002
24,414
124
Location Location Location
If he's a playa looking for a convenient, regular bootie call, forget it. Well, forget it unless that's what you want.

If he's not, tell him to stop being such a ***** and ask you out. And do you want to go out with a guy like that anyway? It's just a question. Some girls would never go out with a guy who didn't get the courage to ask a girl out. If shy is your thing, then do what you want to do, because the ball is in your court, girlfren.
 

jade

macrumors 6502
Original poster
May 3, 2003
331
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beatsme said:
I'd have to agree. It seems pretty obvious that he likes you.

I have a little lady friend that I'm quite fond of, and we're sort of "affectionate friends." No horseplay or anything, just flirting and that kind of stuff. Do you two have that kind of relationship, one where you've both acknowledged that there's chemistry between you two? Or is this (I'm guessing it is) a sudden development?
Well for some background, I have known him for a few years now (7 or so). And we did have great chemistry when we met and started on the 'dating path' for a few weeks. Hung out, went to a few parties together, that sort of thing. The 'friends path' began, in retrospect, after I think I dissed him at a party [not anything horrid, just being less affectionate] anyway from then on we were close friends with 'chemistry' and had lots of silly conversations and bets on who would make moves on crushes and that sort of thing in addition to the normal stuff. Both of us have flirty personbalities so it is a bit trickier to tell who the target is. Overall I am more touchy-feely with everyone and he is less so. So has the 'affectionate-ness' increased? Maybe, but we hadn't hung out for like 2 years due to him being away overseas.

He likes more agressive girls to a point, but he isn't necessarily shy...like everyone else afraid of rejection....although in my opinion he shouldn't worry about being rejected [he's a really good looking guy, as you know that gets your foot in the door and a charmer..I've seen him in action, with me even]

Chundles -- he doesn't drink, he is a lightweight [and the designated driver]. He had like a sip of my drink. so I can't blame that.

So it looks like I'm not reading anything into it. You know how some of us girls can be, some guy holds the door open and smiles and suddenly we are so in love with them, when they were just being polite! :).

Just a bit confused since it had seemed that we were on the 'friends' path for life

I guess I probably should have caught on when I called him the other week to hang out and he had plans but insisted on stopping at the park where I was for 2 minutes [literally, parked in the red zone and all] before he went to his outing, just to say 'hi.'

But I'm pretty dense, I never get it. I have been to some many parties and danced or talked to one person for half the evening and then had my friends say 'he was so into you, what's happening with that guy!' :D
 

beatsme

macrumors 65816
Oct 6, 2005
1,204
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jade said:
But I'm pretty dense, I never get it. I have been to some many parties and danced or talked to one person for half the evening and then had my friends say 'he was so into you, what's happening with that guy!' :D
ok...well, IMHO he's opening the door for you. So I guess the question now is, do you want to go through?

(sorry to talk about myself...ugh)
with my little lady friend, we would just talk about it, point-blank. "What was that thing you sent me? Trying to tell me something?" Perhaps you two should just put your cards on the table, as my friend and I have done. It makes things a lot better, since we don't have to worry about "what is he thinking? what is she thinking?"
 

jade

macrumors 6502
Original poster
May 3, 2003
331
2
beatsme said:
(sorry to talk about myself...ugh)
with my little lady friend, we would just talk about it, point-blank. "What was that thing you sent me? Trying to tell me something?" Perhaps you two should just put your cards on the table, as my friend and I have done.
So you two have cleared the air?
 

Phat Elvis

macrumors 6502
Dec 26, 2005
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Phila, PA
He is interested. This whole "song lyrics guys" are like pings. The guy doesnt want to be rejected so he is sending out a little feeler to see if you are interested. If you're interested (and it sounds like you are) then ask him out. You said he likes more aggressive girls.

Just don't expect too much out of someone that quotes Lionel Ritchie, and one of the worst videos ever made.
 

CubaTBird

macrumors 68020
Apr 18, 2004
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hmm, this guy sounds like a nice guy-wussbag-lets just be friends cuz im so emo type that i have to write you a song kinda dude... askmen would say that women HATE these men.. but who knows, maybe u'll be a nice girl and give this nice guy a chance.. and give him a second if he doesn't kiss you right the first time.. and a third if he doesn't.... heh.:eek:
 

jade

macrumors 6502
Original poster
May 3, 2003
331
2
Phat Elvis said:
Just don't expect too much out of someone that quotes Lionel Ritchie, and one of the worst videos ever made.
That was a horrid video! I think it popped into his head because we heard a crazy cover of it on the way home. You guys amaze me sometimes. I've seen this guy be super direct with 'unknown' people I guess it is trickier when you already have some sort of relationship. Maybe this is why all of his girl-friends are really cute...you know makes it easier to find a hot girl if she is already in your circle of friends.
 

jade

macrumors 6502
Original poster
May 3, 2003
331
2
CubaTBird said:
askmen would say that women HATE these men.. but who knows, maybe u'll be a nice girl and give this nice guy a chance.. and give him a second if he doesn't kiss you right the first time.. and a third if he doesn't.... heh.:eek:
Maybe.. I always diss the insecure guys. I don't have time for that I already have my own insecurities to deal with. I like arrogant guys because I'm sarcastic and it is easy enough to put them in their place! Nothing like a great arguement to turn you on. :D