Decipher this behavior (relationship advice needed)

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by jade, Aug 29, 2006.

  1. jade macrumors 6502

    May 3, 2003
    Do you think this friend wants to take it a step further? Have a long-time friend (with periods of on and off). Lately it is an 'on' period. Thought things were the same until after a recent message post outing. Spent the evening dinner/drinks/scoping with friends. Typically we like to pick out someone for each other, so this outing was more of the same. Later that evening when we got home, I got an iM 40 minutes later with the lyrics of the last song we listened to before parting ways. Here is the note that I got. What do you think it means? [more context, previously we used to speak in song lyrics for regular conversation]

    Because I wonder where you are
    And I wonder what you do
    Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
    Or is someone loving you?
    Tell me how to win your heart
    For I haven't got a clue

    How often do you guys spit out song lyrics to your friends?
  2. gadgetgirl85 macrumors 68040


    Mar 24, 2006
    Is your friend shy? If he is it sounds like in an indirect way he wants you to initiate the first move.
  3. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    It's a difficult situation because you don't know what he's thinking, and you weren't really prepared for this sort of thing with a friend. I'd be a bit startled as well.

    I don't know how you feel, but if you love him, just tell him that IIIIIII, will love youuu, babyyyyyy.....ALLLLLLLLWAAAYYYS.....and I'll be there till the stars don't shine, till the heavens burst, and the words don't rhyme - And I know when I die - You'll be on my mind - And I'll love you........Allllways ---------- So come on baby - Come on over - Let me be the one to show you....I'm the one who want's to beeee with youuuu - Deep inside I hope you feel it tooooo - Waited on a line of greens and blues - Just to be the next TO beee with you --------- I like big butts and I cannot lie.

    Or something like that. ;)
  4. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Jul 4, 2004
    Yes... Nul pointes for quoting Lionel Richie though. :D
  5. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    -1 point for knowing that she quoted Lionel Ritchie. :p
  6. lanray macrumors regular

    Mar 18, 2005
    Lionel Rules

    Really, "Easy Like Sunday Morning" is one of the best songs, ever.

    Back to OP: much has been made about reading into or out of this or that particular way of saying things, and what does it mean? Really, if you like this person, go for it. The worse that can happen is that they'll say no and move on. Since you're on again off again, no biggie. Chances they won't move on or ridicule.

    In other words, plant a big smooch.

    got "Easy..." in my head. Nice.
  7. jade thread starter macrumors 6502

    May 3, 2003
    10 bonus game show points for lionel richie...can we say "world series of pop culture" champion?
  8. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem


    Feb 19, 2005
  9. beatsme macrumors 65816


    Oct 6, 2005
    sorry, but you're male and your friend is female? Or is it the other way 'round? I ask because I would read it a little differently, know?
  10. angelneo macrumors 68000

    Jun 13, 2004
    Jaded is a she.... Her "friend" is a he.

    Personally. I think your friend should be more straight forward, no use beating around the bush
  11. Cloud9 macrumors regular

    Aug 10, 2005
    between flesh and thought

    First Off... Dudes that play around with song lyrics/CDs to express emotions are SUPER shy and hide alot behind a veneer. Often times they dont even know the depth of what they feel untill they start getting to let it manifest.

    Secondly, Of course he likes you. I have no doubt. Ive seen it so many times in so many ways, and its a very specific type that does the whole lyric thing.

    Are you into him? If yes, encourage it, and dont be afraid to be assertive, gentle should go along with it. These lyric dudes dont tend to be the move in for the kill types. They like to know what kind of ground they are standing on in the initial stages.

    If not into him, act like nothings happened, ignore it. If he's ever direct which, may or may not happen, then be direct back. Other wise theres nothing to worry about. Lyric dudes like to save face. (They also have interesting tempers-probably cause they are passionate.)
  12. Chundles macrumors G4


    Jul 4, 2005
    Question One: Drunk??

    Question Two: No seriously, drunk??

    Question Three: D'ya wanna??

    If "Yes" than go for it. If "No" then send back lyrics to "Why Can't we be friends" and be done with it.
  13. beatsme macrumors 65816


    Oct 6, 2005
    I'd have to agree. It seems pretty obvious that he likes you.

    I have a little lady friend that I'm quite fond of, and we're sort of "affectionate friends." No horseplay or anything, just flirting and that kind of stuff. Do you two have that kind of relationship, one where you've both acknowledged that there's chemistry between you two? Or is this (I'm guessing it is) a sudden development?
  14. Xander562 macrumors 68000


    Apr 2, 2006
    if he's generally a shy person, that listens to a lot of music, then i think it means he likes you, i think, this could be a good episode of Seinfeld.
  15. iGav macrumors G3

    Mar 9, 2002
    That he's a stalker???

    Haven't you ever seen the video??? :eek: It's just like it... though instead of making cranky phone calls to you, he's sending you cranky text messages.
  16. Dr.Gargoyle macrumors 65816


    Oct 8, 2004
    lat: 55.7222°N, long: 13.1971°E
    consequently, yes
  17. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    If he's a playa looking for a convenient, regular bootie call, forget it. Well, forget it unless that's what you want.

    If he's not, tell him to stop being such a ***** and ask you out. And do you want to go out with a guy like that anyway? It's just a question. Some girls would never go out with a guy who didn't get the courage to ask a girl out. If shy is your thing, then do what you want to do, because the ball is in your court, girlfren.
  18. jade thread starter macrumors 6502

    May 3, 2003
    Well for some background, I have known him for a few years now (7 or so). And we did have great chemistry when we met and started on the 'dating path' for a few weeks. Hung out, went to a few parties together, that sort of thing. The 'friends path' began, in retrospect, after I think I dissed him at a party [not anything horrid, just being less affectionate] anyway from then on we were close friends with 'chemistry' and had lots of silly conversations and bets on who would make moves on crushes and that sort of thing in addition to the normal stuff. Both of us have flirty personbalities so it is a bit trickier to tell who the target is. Overall I am more touchy-feely with everyone and he is less so. So has the 'affectionate-ness' increased? Maybe, but we hadn't hung out for like 2 years due to him being away overseas.

    He likes more agressive girls to a point, but he isn't necessarily everyone else afraid of rejection....although in my opinion he shouldn't worry about being rejected [he's a really good looking guy, as you know that gets your foot in the door and a charmer..I've seen him in action, with me even]

    Chundles -- he doesn't drink, he is a lightweight [and the designated driver]. He had like a sip of my drink. so I can't blame that.

    So it looks like I'm not reading anything into it. You know how some of us girls can be, some guy holds the door open and smiles and suddenly we are so in love with them, when they were just being polite! :).

    Just a bit confused since it had seemed that we were on the 'friends' path for life

    I guess I probably should have caught on when I called him the other week to hang out and he had plans but insisted on stopping at the park where I was for 2 minutes [literally, parked in the red zone and all] before he went to his outing, just to say 'hi.'

    But I'm pretty dense, I never get it. I have been to some many parties and danced or talked to one person for half the evening and then had my friends say 'he was so into you, what's happening with that guy!' :D
  19. 2nyRiggz macrumors 603


    Aug 20, 2005
    Thank you Jah...I'm so Blessed
    ^Sounds like you are interested.....Sing him a song to let him know that you are feeling him.....maybe that would bring him out.

    Let the loving begin..

  20. beatsme macrumors 65816


    Oct 6, 2005
    ok...well, IMHO he's opening the door for you. So I guess the question now is, do you want to go through?

    (sorry to talk about myself...ugh)
    with my little lady friend, we would just talk about it, point-blank. "What was that thing you sent me? Trying to tell me something?" Perhaps you two should just put your cards on the table, as my friend and I have done. It makes things a lot better, since we don't have to worry about "what is he thinking? what is she thinking?"
  21. jade thread starter macrumors 6502

    May 3, 2003
    So you two have cleared the air?
  22. Phat Elvis macrumors 6502

    Dec 26, 2005
    Phila, PA
    He is interested. This whole "song lyrics guys" are like pings. The guy doesnt want to be rejected so he is sending out a little feeler to see if you are interested. If you're interested (and it sounds like you are) then ask him out. You said he likes more aggressive girls.

    Just don't expect too much out of someone that quotes Lionel Ritchie, and one of the worst videos ever made.
  23. CubaTBird macrumors 68020

    Apr 18, 2004
    hmm, this guy sounds like a nice guy-wussbag-lets just be friends cuz im so emo type that i have to write you a song kinda dude... askmen would say that women HATE these men.. but who knows, maybe u'll be a nice girl and give this nice guy a chance.. and give him a second if he doesn't kiss you right the first time.. and a third if he doesn't.... heh.:eek:
  24. jade thread starter macrumors 6502

    May 3, 2003
    That was a horrid video! I think it popped into his head because we heard a crazy cover of it on the way home. You guys amaze me sometimes. I've seen this guy be super direct with 'unknown' people I guess it is trickier when you already have some sort of relationship. Maybe this is why all of his girl-friends are really know makes it easier to find a hot girl if she is already in your circle of friends.
  25. jade thread starter macrumors 6502

    May 3, 2003
    Maybe.. I always diss the insecure guys. I don't have time for that I already have my own insecurities to deal with. I like arrogant guys because I'm sarcastic and it is easy enough to put them in their place! Nothing like a great arguement to turn you on. :D

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