plug it into itunes and click restore. maybe itll be better. if something goes wrong like i think you said itunes doesnt recognize it, then take it to an apple store and ask them to confirm if its a real iphone or not. sounds like its totally not. i mean really, apple would never put a pushable vibrate switch, if u had it on vibrate it could switch off in your pocket.
Not for nothing, but the goddam switch they have now still turns itself on and off in my pocket, so.....