APPLE: OK, now about MMS. You know how we think that separating data into "Internet" and "SMS" is garbage, but its such a standard our customers simply wouldn't buy our phone without it.
AT&T: Indeed. Launching a non-SMS phone is ridiculous, and if you tried to sell anything else as "SMS-compatible" we'd sue the crap out of you. So, yes... understood.
APPLE: Exactly, so... here's the thing... MMS. We'd love to support it, but the amount of charges you guys put on MMS messages, is idiotic. It's mind boggling. We think there's no reason an "unlimited data plan" shouldn't include MMS support.
AT&T: We disagree. You're users are apt to be more data hungry, and if we give MMS to your users "gratis", we'll have to do it for everyone... and our network couldn't handle the extra capacity...
APPLE: Come on, that's BS.
AT&T: No, really. MMS is a premium feature we intend to continue charging a "reasonable" price for. Don't over-estimate your influence here. We could show you how much we make from our current pricing model, but your head would explode. Next question.
APPLE: Come on. It's just DATA!
AT&T: No dice. We've still got to sell this to our board. We make plenty of profit for MMS hungry fools that can't wait to beam a photo to a friend. Usually
nude photos, heh, heh.
APPLE: But, look... people can already send media-rich e-mails from the device.
AT&T: Yes, you won that little point... so, why aren't you happy?
APPLE: But, its effective the SAME THING.
AT&T: One battle at a time, ok? We conceded that we can't really exert too much influence over the fact that people are used to sending e-mails a certain way. Your device is close to a computer, so... fine, media-rich emails. Full HTML with embedded pictures. We get it. MMS... no, we're going to have to keep bending customers over to get that. We think we're giving enough incentive for customers. They don't need MMS as gratis to their data plans.
APPLE: Fine... what are your non-MMS account provisions like, when SMS-only customers get MMS messages?
AT&T: They get an SMS link to a website, requesting the provided password and username to be entered.
APPLE: How about putting it in the URL, so that it automatically logs in and...
AT&T: (laughing)
APPLE: (frowns)
AT&T: I'm sorry, was there anything else, or are we done?
APPLE: We're not supporting this crap. MMS is a dying technology. We're the future, baby! If its not on the iPhone, its just going to fade away!
AT&T: Right.
APPLE: Come on! Who wants to spend $10 in charges to send a few pictures???
YEARS LATER... NEW NEGOTIATIONS...
AT&T: And, back to the issue of MMS. We see its one of your number one requested features. People are laughing that the iPhone doesn't have something so basic. So much for your predictions, eh?
APPLE: We can admit when we're wrong. We put video on the iPod didn't we?
AT&T: Indeed. So, what's it going to be?
APPLE: The whole 9. Info, Photos and Video. Screw it. If they want to pay for it, we've upgraded our software to handle it.
AT&T: Excellent.
APPLE: Of course, some of our partners and developers are really excited about some of their options, considering our new "Push Notification Service".
AT&T: You don't say.
APPLE: Yeah. Once you add an open push notification architecture to your mobile API, we've noticed that a number of crazy things are possible. For instance, Google's Talk service supports SMS messages. They could theoretically bridge the old technology users with the new technology users, by allowing iPhone users to get push notify alerts when they get an MMS to their Google supplied-number and display the MMS immediately as indicated by the user.
AT&T: Yes, well... Google pisses us off. That whole spectrum thing was annoying. We'll be suing them soon, we're sure. We just have to compile enough red tape to adequately choke them to death. They have too much money to submit to normal frivolous lawsuit attacks. We have to go Viacom on their asses.
APPLE: Come on... you're just resisting. Data is data. Let people consume things how they consume things.
AT&T: Right, if that were true, we'd have already agreed to "free" tethering for "unlimited" accounts. We're a business, not a charity. Your phone is too damn flexible. No one's wireless network is ready for someone to simply say "YES" to everything and give it away at firesale prices. If they do... you'll know something is burning.
APPLE: You're killing us here. I just hope you know that. Please make a statement on the Sling Media thing. We know they'll be submitting something at the beginning of next year. We'll have to say no, even though it works like our YouTube app... and they'll want to know why.
AT&T: Sure thing. We're still annoyed that you got YouTube past us. We figured it was a decent way to test our network though. No need to get crazy.
APPLE: Heaven forbid.