Found a simple workaround for this problem. It was driving me crazy because I have 2 of these 4TB SSD's, and they format fine on Windows. The workaround is simple: simply use a slower USB 2 cable, which for me is simply using the USB-C cable that came with the AC adapter for my MBP (Intel). When I used that cable with the Sandisk Extreme v2, then Disk Utility formatted the drive in about 20 seconds. After it's formatted, then going back to the stock cable immediately returned the speed to normal.
Clearly a bug in Monterey, but the simple workaround did the trick after countless hours trying to wait out Disk Utility.
Hope this helps somebody else...