Well, an update for anyone still interested.
I e-mailed Steve Jobs with a brief and polite e-mail summarizing the problem and requesting to be taken at my word. The next day I received (actually, missed) a call from Robin Roberts, from the Executive PR team asking to speak with me about the problem. Since then, I've been unable to reach her and I'm guessing that her absence has something to do with the Texas branch being closed down.
In the meantime, I've put in a couple calls to AppleCare. The first representative was extremely polite, put me on hold while she went through my "notes", and then returned trying to convince me that it was time to come clean and give up. She made a number of factual errors (for example, "It appears as though the liquid got in through the keyboard via the key that has been removed," I removed a couple keys after my keyboard stopped working, which was only the most recent problem). I was told that pictures had come back, they were pretty incriminating, and that they had been sent to my e-mail address (they have the correct one) yesterday at 10:30am (5 days after requesting them). I haven't gotten an e-mail with any pictures yet so far.
During my second call, the representative explained that it's being looked into, there are pictures attached to my file, and that it's pretty high up. She was the one who told me about the Texas problem and told me to just sit tight. So that's where I'm at. Still completely in the dark, but I guess I'm making some progress?