Driver knocks your bumper: protocol?

[Tsuchiya]

So this morning I had an incredibly frustrating experience while dropping the siblings at school.

It's insanely congested when I drive up there (London ftw...) and parking is scarce. If it has been raining or something like it had been this morning, traffic seems to double and usually this means that parking spills over to another residential road.

I park across the partition of two driveways. Awkward but people can enter/exit their driveways and besides I'll be literally 2 minutes.

I walk back to the car after walking the siblings to the gate and some guy is trying to parallel park his mini-van in front of my car. I unlock from a distance so maybe he'll see the lights and realise that I'll be there in a minute to move it, but he just pulls out and reattempts to park.

THIS attempt, the corner of his bumper knocks into mine. Now I'm annoyed and almost next to the car, but I can't see any apparant damage. The driver opens his door and I say that I was just about to move the car and he'd knocked into me. He then says that I was blocking his drive. I notice he has kids in the back. I'm not going to shout at a guy with young children.

I'm not going to get an apology out of this guy, and there is no damage to either car. I walk away.

Now I feel ****ing stupid because I should have taken down details. What should I have done?

 

[Jessica Lares]

If there's no damage, do nothing. It's not worth it. At least, my parents never do anything when their bumpers are hit. They're made for that purpose anyway, a shield for the even more damage a car can cause if you were without one.

My dad actually tied his to a tree a week or so back to bend it back into shape.

It's nothing to lose your accident forgiveness over, or whatever your insurance might have.

 

[Happybunny]

So this morning I had an incredibly frustrating experience while dropping the siblings at school.

It's insanely congested when I drive up there (London ftw...) and parking is scarce. If it has been raining or something like it had been this morning, traffic seems to double and usually this means that parking spills over to another residential road.

I park across the partition of two driveways. Awkward but people can enter/exit their driveways and besides I'll be literally 2 minutes.

I walk back to the car after walking the siblings to the gate and some guy is trying to parallel park his mini-van in front of my car. I unlock from a distance so maybe he'll see the lights and realise that I'll be there in a minute to move it, but he just pulls out and reattempts to park.

THIS attempt, the corner of his bumper knocks into mine. Now I'm annoyed and almost next to the car, but I can't see any apparant damage. The driver opens his door and I say that I was just about to move the car and he'd knocked into me. He then says that I was blocking his drive. I notice he has kids in the back. I'm not going to shout at a guy with young children.

I'm not going to get an apology out of this guy, and there is no damage to either car. I walk away.

Now I feel ****ing stupid because I should have taken down details. What should I have done?

Just be thankful you don't drive in Paris.

 

[macquariumguy]

A guy bumped me at a stop light a while back. I put on the brake and got out and saw that he had caused a little crinkle in the paint. He must have realized I was going to push the issue because he didn't argue when I told him to pull over so we weren't blocking traffic and discuss.

He seemed anxious to not get insurance involved, so I used my phone to photograph his tag, driver's license, his face, and the bumper. He promised to send me a check if I got an estimate and sent it to him.

Something about the guy made me think he would, so I agreed. Got an estimate (about $600) and mailed it to him and got a check a couple days later. My paint guy was sure he would stiff me, but I got the last laugh. I love it when a plan works out so easily.

 

[heehee]

If there is no damage, I'm not sure what you want to do now or even at that moment. You can't claim insurance because there is no damage. The best thing to do is to take pictures but again, if there is no damage, there is nothing you can do. Let it go.

 

[maflynn]

If there's no damage, then just consider yourself lucky and move on. The last thing you want is to involve your insurance company

 

[velocityg4]

If there was no damage why even care.

Also from the sound of it you were blocking his driveway. That bloke is the one with the grievance and right to complain. It doesn't matter if you are just going to be "literally 2 minutes". Unless it is an actual emergency or with their permission you have zero right or justification to block the driveway.

Frankly even if it was just a little in the way. I think he would be justified in getting it towed, ramming it out of the way, busting a window and putting it in neutral to push or whatever else is necessary to dislodge it from the entrance to his driveway.

 

[Tsuchiya]

If there was no damage why even care.

Also from the sound of it you were blocking his driveway. That bloke is the one with the grievance and right to complain. It doesn't matter if you are just going to be "literally 2 minutes". Unless it is an actual emergency or with their permission you have zero right or justification to block the driveway.

Frankly even if it was just a little in the way. I think he would be justified in getting it towed, ramming it out of the way, busting a window and putting it in neutral to push or whatever else is necessary to dislodge it from the entrance to his driveway.

Yeah others have said the same thing. No harm, no foul. I just think I handled it wrong.

Justified though? I'd love to see how that reasoning stands up legally. He did still have access to his driveway if wanted to park straight in, and if he could actually judge the size of his car, parallel parking there would be a cinch. I was slightly over but 3/4 of the front was clear. He took it wide and bumped me. I digress though, I realise he had the right to be pissed. If he waited for me to get to the car and had a go, I'd understand.

I actually apologised for being slightly over because it seemed like the decent thing to say, and didn't want to start a full on argument in front of his kids.

 

[Huntn]

No damage, no issue...

If there was damage, take a picture, record the license plate, if other guy's fault ask if he'd prefer to pay cash or go through the insurance company. Many (most?) will prefer to pay cash if they can afford it to keep it off their record.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I live not far from a school and you would be amazed at how bad some of the parking is. If some of these people actually thought about how early they park up (to get a space), and how far they have to walk (to find a space they can actually park in), they would realise they would save time and money by walking their kids to school. I actually know where some of these mothers live and it's a joke they drive such a short distance. No wonder their kids are so fat!

If there is no damage, there is no issue. Just move on and think about using common sense when parking or even leaving the car at home (if possible).

 

[Tsuchiya]

I live not far from a school and you would be amazed at how bad some of the parking is. If some of these people actually thought about how early they park up (to get a space), and how far they have to walk (to find a space they can actually park in), they would realise they would save time and money by walking their kids to school. I actually know where some of these mothers live and it's a joke they drive such a short distance. No wonder their kids are so fat!

If there is no damage, there is no issue. Just move on and think about using common sense when parking or even leaving the car at home (if possible).

Common sense in choosing a parking space or whether to ditch the car and walk instead?

If walking was an option then I'd pick it just to avoid the morning rush. It is horrific. Unfortunately it just isn't an option, the school isn't local and I had a meeting to rush to straight after.

The road I parked down in the end was full of driveways with dropped curbs, there wasn't really a "safe" option. Just what appeared to be a reasonable one- parking down a mostly empty stretch where both driveways were still accessible.

(also my siblings aren't fat )

 

[Astroboy907]

I live not far from a school and you would be amazed at how bad some of the parking is. If some of these people actually thought about how early they park up (to get a space), and how far they have to walk (to find a space they can actually park in), they would realise they would save time and money by walking their kids to school. I actually know where some of these mothers live and it's a joke they drive such a short distance. No wonder their kids are so fat!

I know a kid who lives less than two blocks from school, he drives to school nearly every day. Him, and the 30+ other people who do it, make me a bit angry when I try to find a parking spot after driving nearly a half hour to get there. The paid parking spots are really tempting

 

[Jimbo47]

If its minor damage like that, just exchange information and move on. I would demand insurance information even if they say they'll just pay for it. What happens if they don't pay? Then you're screwed because you don't even have any proof it happened. If its major damage like they slammed into the back of you at a stoplight, then its best to call the cops and have them handle it. If they won't show you any ID or insurance information, then I call the cops too because theres a good chance they are either driving without a license or insurance. I'm not sure about other states, but in PA anytime you get pulled over, no matter what the reason, you are required to show the officer ID, registration, and proof of insurance. You don't have insurance? Oh well you just lost your car and license.

 

[bgd]

I used to drive a Land Rover Defender in London. Never had any problems.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I used to drive a Land Rover Defender in London. Never had any problems.

You ARE the problem. Chelsea Taxis are more likely to be involved in an accident due to their size and poor stopping distance. You will probably survive, but the poor sod you hit, not so much.

 

[senseless]

Bumpers can easily take a 3mph hit with no damage, so forget it. Some people get very defensive when they're guilty.

 

[Gregg2]

Yeah others have said the same thing. No harm, no foul. I just think I handled it wrong.

On the contrary, I think you handled it well. It's always good to stay calm if you can, unless you're in a football game. (US or UK)

 

[snberk103]

So this morning I had an incredibly frustrating experience while dropping the siblings at school..... and there is no damage to either car. I walk away.

...

Yeah others have said the same thing. No harm, no foul. I just think I handled it wrong.
...

The 'protocol' is that you talk about your siblings and the other driver's kids - how they're liking school, how much running around you have to do as the family taxi, how difficult it is to park around there etc. etc. Then you arrange to get together and have a beer - walk to pub of course.

It's just a car... it's just an undamaged bumper. You had a chance to make a new friend. Perhaps they have an interesting connection that could have lead to romance or a new job for you. Creating a community around yourself is more important that an undamaged bumper.

At least where I come from... I suppose London could be different....

 

[Tsuchiya]

The 'protocol' is that you talk about your siblings and the other driver's kids - how they're liking school, how much running around you have to do as the family taxi, how difficult it is to park around there etc. etc. Then you arrange to get together and have a beer - walk to pub of course.

It's just a car... it's just an undamaged bumper. You had a chance to make a new friend. Perhaps they have an interesting connection that could have lead to romance or a new job for you. Creating a community around yourself is more important that an undamaged bumper.

At least where I come from... I suppose London could be different....

Hats off to you or anyone who can actually pull something like that off. Honestly, I just couldn't do it. Not that I wouldn't want to, just simply because I don't have the social skills to turn a situation around like that.

Turns out the guy is the father of my younger sisters best friend. If I ever run into him again, I'll try as you suggested.

 

[snberk103]

Hats off to you or anyone who can actually pull something like that off. Honestly, I just couldn't do it. Not that I wouldn't want to, just simply because I don't have the social skills to turn a situation around like that.

Turns out the guy is the father of my younger sisters best friend. If I ever run into him again, I'll try as you suggested.

A friend of mine was t-boned in September ... his very large pickup was written off, as was the other pickup. My friend suffered a mild concussion, the other driver facial lacerations from the airbag. When the shock wore off, they decided that since no one was seriously injured, they should get together some time and have a coffee and get to know each other. Though neither of them have memories of the accident, the other fellow has admitted he probably ran the light. It's a small town, and I'm sure they'll find many connections. I like small communities for just this reason.

 

[ohbrilliance]

If driving and parking is such a pain then I'd look into alternatives. For one, how old are your siblings? Could they make their own way to school by public transport?

 

[bgd]

You ARE the problem. Chelsea Taxis are more likely to be involved in an accident due to their size and poor stopping distance. You will probably survive, but the poor sod you hit, not so much.

Nonsense! 5 years and never an accident.

It was actually quite a practical city vehicle. Being tall gives a great view of traffic and being truck like you (should) drive it in a more measured style. You can't throw it around like a car. And it was a 90 so shorter than many cars.

Sold it when we moved to the country, wasn't such a good commuter. Replaced it with a motorbike.

 

[jeremy h]

If driving and parking is such a pain then I'd look into alternatives.

Ah yes, moving to a big place like Australia with lots of parking might be one of them.

In terms of getting a conversation going - I was always told that one should never insult a man's dog, kids, wife in that order of priority.

So, just say "Oooh, what a lovely ... dog / child / wife* in that order depending on what else is in the car you just bumped. That should defuse things nicely.

* Do this one carefully - he might get ideas about the three of you. Now, that might actually float your boat but...

 

[ohbrilliance]

Ah yes, moving to a big place like Australia with lots of parking might be one of them.

Sure, there's plenty of parking, other than where everybody needs to park.
Not that it matters to me, since as a matter of principle I've not once in my life driven a car to work (and almost 40yo now). It's been quite a bitch when public transport has taken two hours each way, but such is the price of standing up for what I believe in.

 

[jeremy h]

Sure, there's plenty of parking, other than where everybody needs to park.
Not that it matters to me, since as a matter of principle I've not once in my life driven a car to work (and almost 40yo now). It's been quite a bitch when public transport has taken two hours each way, but such is the price of standing up for what I believe in.

Excellent answer - can't argue with that. (In the past 20 years I haven't either - but there's never been any parking so it hasn't been a choice - so I can't really say that it's been out of principle.) Here in London most kids do still get the bus when they reach a certain age. I suspect the OP's kids are younger.