****ed up relationship at work


macrumors 65816
Original poster
Mar 1, 2006
I need some advise as to what my dad should do, he's having some complications w/ someone at work, which I will now explain.

He worked at warehouse #1 for over 13 yrs and the reason why he left to warehouse #2 is because this ******* named Ben took advantage of my dad's situation of not speaking fluent English.

To make a long story short, my dad's worked in warehouse1 much longer than that *******, but because Ben was younger and knew more English he was promoted to slightly higher than my dad. My father was ok w/ it, but things really started to go wrong when Ben tried to squeeze my dad out of the work place by not giving him work, not communicating in person but by emails, not taking responsibility, and just plain keeping him out of the loop on many things.

My dad is a very soft spoken, easy going, well articulated, non-confrontational man who does his work well and does what he's told. Ben took advantage of that and by applying the pressure he has, he hopes to squeeze my dad out of his position so his cousin can take the spot. My dad tried to reason w/ him and leave the past as the past, but finally my dad caved in and left to warehouse #2. Everyone at #1 knew him and respected him. They knew Ben was the evil behind everything that pressured my dad to quit, it was hard.

It's been nearly a yr since my dad's worked for warehouse#2, while the work there was harder than #1, he's happy that Ben's not there to give him ****. But we just received word that Ben was recently fired from warehouse#1 and might be working w/ my dad AGAIN!

So my dad was caught completely off guard and just can't believe what's happening. The reason why Ben was offered a job at warehouse2 was because the company it so happens needed someone w/ his experience and he was unemployed.

Before my dad left #1, I told him to talk to someone high up, but being the traditional non-confrontational Chinese man that he is, he wanted to make things work w/o all the drama. But now that history is repeating itself, I need advise as to how he can avoid the same thing from happening again.


Super Macho Man

macrumors 6502a
Jul 24, 2006
Hollywood, CA
Your dad has to assert himself. People are jerks who don't respect the timid. If you are the type to be walked all over... you will be. Your dad has to be strong, fight his nature and stand up for himself. If this guy wants a fight, your dad can either fight back, or probably eventually leave his job again, I guess. I don't mean a physical fight of course... I'm sure your dad can be creative and use social pressures and various other forces to his advantage.


macrumors 68030
Jul 23, 2004
Melbourne, Australia
If your dad isn't prepared to cover his own ass at his place of work there isn't much that can be done about it. IMHO you aren't going to get any information from a Mac forum that can help out, it sucks but in the modern work place you have to look after #1, if you don't you get squashed.


macrumors demi-god
Jun 10, 2006
stonyc said:
If he is still well-known and liked at Warehouse #1, why not go back?
Thinking the same thing. I honestly would never quit my job because of someone else, but hey if it helps him, just get him to go back. And tell him to take matters into his own hands. Things like this don't fix themselves.


macrumors 6502
May 9, 2006
TO. I've moved!
Your Dad needs to stand up for himself. Nobody else is going to speak up for him if he won't. It may be surprising how much support from his co-workers he may receive if he stands up for himself. He won't get any if he doesn't.


macrumors 6502a
May 2, 2005
I don't want to come off as offensive, but there's a difference between "soft spoken" and cowardly. No one is soft-spoken when another guy is trying to push him out of a job.

Eventually, your dad just has to assert himself. I'm from an Asian family too, and parents tend to not want to draw attention or trouble to themselves, especially when it relates to work. There's a point, though, where they do need to fight back and not be pushovers.