I'm a drinker, man...but there's only one drink I don't like...Egg Nog. How did they think that up? "I want to get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes." Do you know what Egg Nog really is? You're not gonna want to hear it but I'll tell you...ELF CUM! That's what it is! You might as well pour it on your back and slap yourself on the ass. - Dave Attell
I've honestly tried to find Dave Attell funny - even when he did that "late-night job show" but seriously - Terminal Cancer is funnier than that guy.