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Err, as I can't really ask parents etc this question... I ask you.

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J

jive

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Apr 14, 2006
501
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Scotland
How safe are condoms? I've always used them up until a few weeks ago as one split causing both myself and my girlfriend to sh*t ourselves. Not literally obviously, that'd just be disgusting.

Anyway, now I'm not getting any till the beginning of July when my girlyfriend starts going on the pill. What caused me to ask this was that last night my friends condom split with his girlfriend...

I'm seeing a rather scary pattern here >_>

So yeah, if condoms don't split what are the chances of them working? Or what are the chances that they'll split? How safe's the pill?

If anyone's uncomfortable talking about this then I'm sorry.
 
Hmmm....

Good questions, young grasshopper.

Condoms are 98% effective when used properly, the pill is anywhere from 95-99% effective.

That being said, it's always been my rule to use condoms unless you're in a long term, monogamous relationship and I've never had any issues (except the occassional broken condom)>
 
Agreed with previous...

Best, most effective way is to get her to take her pill RELIGIOUSLY...same time, every SINGLE day.

I used to have an alarm set on my watch and cell phone just in case I had to call and remind her.
 
Generally if a condom splits it hasn't been put on properly (you have to give it some room at the top) rather than it having a proper fault. Nothing is 100% safe (except abstinence which is 100% boring) but condoms are pretty damned close. You just have to use it properly, if you're worried there are spermicidal gels you can use in conjunction with a condom that up the safety factor a bit.

The pill's not 100% either and if I were worried I would still use a condom even if your girlfriend is on the pill. It sounds like her first time on the pill and as a pretty strict regimen needs to be followed for it to be effective, a regimen that is not ingrained in her as yet it's probably best to stick with the condoms for the time being, just be sure you get good quality ones and put them on properly. Some lubricant will also help prevent splits by reducing some of the friction.

Why can't you talk about this stuff with your folks? It's just a natural part of life. Have fun and I hope everything's OK after the little "incident." I know exactly how you feel and it's not very nice at all.
 
Well as my girlfriend (who I've going out with a while now) is going on the pill can I say good bye to condoms? They're uncomfortable as f*ck for me... >_>
 
Well, the pill doesn't protect you or your girlfriend from STIs. It's reckoned to be around 99% effective but there are some caveats - like if your girlfriend is ill (sickness/diaorreah) then you need to use some other form of protection since the pill might not have had a chance to distribute its payload. There are also some side effects to her health depending on the brand but these should have been explained to her by her doctor.

Condoms shouldn't split if put on properly (less than 1% fail) but obviously, jewellery/fingernails can snag them. Make sure if either of you use moisturising lotion (even a few hours earlier) that it's not oil based since oil weakens latex and can cause it to split. They're about 97-98% effective in stopping pregnancy and in preventing STIs
 
jive said:
Well as my girlfriend (who I've going out with a while now) is going on the pill can I say good bye to condoms? They're uncomfortable as f*ck for me... >_>
Click to expand...

Wrong size? Trying a different shape or brand? Experiment with a few Unless you plan on marrying this girl at some point, you'll end up using them again sooner or later.
 
jive said:
Cos I'm a 17 year old boy?
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Your point being? You're over 16 (age of consent in Scotland) and thus perfectly within your rights to be putting it about.
 
Yes, I know everything's legal etc but still, I don't really like talking about these sort of things with parents. That's what the internet's for...


<_<
 
There have been some good posts here for advice, but I'd also add that if your girlfriend is on the pill a couple of other things to think about:

1. If she's on antibiotics, the pill WILL NOT work properly.

2. You really don't know if she's taken it. A condom is your best protection against STDs, and used in conjunction with the pill should provide a fairly certain degree of protection against pregnancy.
 
Applespider is right:

What lotions or lube might be coming into contact w/ the condom? Oil seriously degrades latex (you can try it, get a condom, place it over, well, a banana or something, get some oil-based lube/lotion and rub it-- watch it break quickstyle).

Also, how are you storing the condom? I've read that with exposure to heat (bad) it can break as well.

And please, do NOT use more than one condom at a time-- stacking condoms will cause friction to rub and break the condoms.
 
Yeah, never use an oil based lube with a condom. Just water based.

Be sure to have a good amount of space between the tip of your penis and the tip of the condom.

e
 
In my 30+ years of using condoms, never had one "break". Knocks on wood (get ur minds out of the gutter!).

jive said:
Well as my girlfriend (who I've going out with a while now) is going on the pill can I say good bye to condoms? They're uncomfortable as f*ck for me... >_>
Click to expand...

Applespider said:
Wrong size? Trying a different shape or brand? Experiment with a few Unless you plan on marrying this girl at some point, you'll end up using them again sooner or later.
Click to expand...

Applespider is on a good point here.

My take is that even with her being on the pill, you should still use a condom. As mentioned the condom is not just about a "little jive" arriving on your doorstep. It is about protecting any partner from from an STD. The only time IMO that a condom should not be worn, is when the intent is to have a baby. Plain and simple.

Truth in life is that partners cheat, not all - but enough do to cause you a bad day.
 
I lived in Scotland for two years. I found the condoms available there to be more unreliable than anywhere else I've lived; they would break, leak, and even had a couple incidents where the bottom end tension broke and the thing completely slid off during. I've never had much trouble with condoms in the US, so I'd say just be very particular about which you buy, ask around and find out which ones are most reliable amongst the people you know, etc. Also talking to your doctor, your gf's doctor, or a planned parenthood could help.

I ALWAYS buy condoms that are spermicidally lubricated, because you just never know, and it's not like it's insanely effective in case of a break, but every little bit helps (said the old lady as she pissed into the sea).
 
devilot said:
Applespider is right:



Also, how are you storing the condom? I've read that with exposure to heat (bad) it can break as well.
Click to expand...

Keeping it in a wallet or somewhere else there is heat and/or friction they get thin and unreliable. Keep em in a drawer or your bag (if you have a backpack/computer bag with you). If you must put them in your pocket/wallet make don't until the last possible second- IE right before you leave for a date or her house.
 
Use condom irregardless if she is on the pill or not
Pregnacies are not the only concern when it comes to sex.
STD's should be more concerned about, you can always deal with pregnancies but some infections can't be dealt with.
At your age and sexual status - use condoms; order them online, get them from GP or a youth resource centre to make sure they are good quality and not past their expiry date.

As for which condoms to get, DONT get the ones with spermicide (nonoxyno-9), its used as industrial cleaners as well, and while a guy will have the condom on for only a few minutes, the residue will stay in the girl for a few hours-days and can cause chemical burns
and it actually increases the risk of STD infections,
dont use the lambskin ones either.
try the polyurathene ones they are super thin but tough and feel good.
 
Has no one out of all the brilliant minds here said "the only 100% reliable method is abstinence?" wtf...

Dude. Lemme tell ya something about condoms, and men, and women. They aren't 100% effective. Neither the pill nor the condom. I've had a couple of friends who have had kids while their wives were on the pill and they used a condom.

Condoms break all the time. And may God help you if you ever get with a girl who's allergic to latex. The alternative condoms for that are downright dreadful.
 
Applespider said:
It's reckoned to be around 99% effective but there are some caveats - like if your girlfriend is ill (sickness/diaorreah) then you need to use some other form of protection since the pill might not have had a chance to distribute its payload.
Click to expand...


Although, for a completely different reason, I'd recommend against having sex when either partner has diarrhea.....
 
I use condoms most of the time, but to be honest sometimes I 've been known to use the ol' "pull out method" aka "The Test of Faith". But the girl is ALWAYS on the pill, and I have had a few condoms break in my day.

That being said I've never had any STD's ... but I have two kids, both times the girl was on the pill. Nothing works 100% of the time. Have fun, be safe. but don't ever believe that it won't happen to you.
 
Chundles said:
Nothing is 100% safe (except abstinence which is 100% boring)
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Which was followed by this:

Counterfit said:
Speak for yourself. :p
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I can respect this after what I went through with my ex last year.

Outside of some lap dances last July in SF, I have not had any "fun" on a personal nature <eek>. I have not really missed it.

In my travels of late, I have loved meeting and knowing people. Without the baggage of "doing the nasty".

I do long for the even short loving touch of another. But I would rather not open myself up so soon to another "leech". Better to happy with ones self, than to rely on someone else for validation IMO.
 
Onizuka said:
Has no one out of all the brilliant minds here said "the only 100% reliable method is abstinence?" wtf...
Click to expand...

In fact, yes:

Chundles said:
Nothing is 100% safe (except abstinence which is 100% boring) but condoms are pretty damned close.
Click to expand...

Also, I'm not sure that this:

Onizuka said:
Condoms break all the time.
Click to expand...

is entirely accurate -- it's more like FUD.

It may sound lame, but:
jive, you and your girlfriend should have a realistic talk about how important sex is to their relationship and what part it is going to play. It may sound dumb, but if your girlfriend is anything like any of mine were (oh, wait -- actually, we should hope she's NOT! :rolleyes: ) she'll love having a little heart-to-heart.

I'm not suggesting that you agree to quit. Rather, you should understand that there are risks associated with this behaviour and maybe you should think about reducing the frequency.

Just an idea. But I think the research shows that, if you're going to have sex, (i) the best protection against unplanned pregnancy is the pill taken religiously and (ii) the best protection against STD trasmission is a properly sized and worn condom.
 
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