Escaping the Friend Zone

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by Questionmark?, Apr 19, 2008.

  1. Questionmark? macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2008
    #1
    So does anyone believe in the friend zone? I do

    SO about three years ago, one girl i know was totally into me.
    But i didn't really know her then,
    after a few months, I at least became friends with her, but I never liked her the same way she liked me.

    All our friends said we should go out, and that we were meant for each other, but we just never really saw it

    Well we stayed friends and after 5 months of friendship, and 9 months of her likign me, we were practically best friends, and just that. Around this point, she no longer liked me, and I still didn't like her. She got a boyfriend, but next to him, I was the guy she liked best.


    She broke up with her boyfriend though, and it was around then that I realized I started to like her...

    Three months later though, she had another boyfriend, and I was into her now more than ever, but obviously, she was not feeling the same way.

    So now its about a year from that, and we're better friends than ever (and people we meet still ask why we're not going out, that is, until they find out about her boyfriend). She's been going out with her boyfriend for a year now, and he has also become one of my best friends.

    Her boyfriend is moving out of state soon and shes not going with him, but he says he'll be visiting often.

    So what am I going to do?
     
  2. archesdevil macrumors 6502

    archesdevil

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    #2
    In about 5 years you will understand why this question is so silly. Just kiss her, then you'll know.
     
  3. CanadaRAM macrumors G5

    CanadaRAM

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Location:
    On the Left Coast - Victoria BC Canada
    #3
    Prediction -
    You're going to make a move on her once her boyfriend is away, forcing her into the impossible position of choosing between the two of you. Meanwhile, you'll have proved that you're willing to s@#$w a best friend behind his back at first opportunity, illustrating volumes about your character. She'll tell him, and they will both hate you for the rest of their lives, and you will have lost 2 friends.

    Unless she makes a move on you on her own once boyfriend is out of town, you missed your opportunity 14 months ago.
     
  4. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    #4
    Didn't we have this thread a few days ago. It will never end well.
     
  5. tangledweb16 macrumors regular

    tangledweb16

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2007
    #5
    You got to make a move.

    It really is as simple as that. :rolleyes:
     
  6. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #6
    So far, the only people whose opinion that I agree with so far are those with an avatar. :p

    This isn't "the friend zone". You rejected her. You "friend zoned" HER, and now she doesn't want you anymore.

    It's not a movie. "Go for it!" may sound like a great line in a movie, but you're just going to mess things up. If you were a real friend to this girl and her bf, you wouldn't make a move once he moves to another state. If you do, you're a coward, a backstabber, and completely not trustworthy. Don't tell us how much you like her, because "But I like her a lot, and I can't stop thinking about her!" isn't a good reason to become a backstabbing little twunt. It's an excuse, not a justifiable reason.

    Don't be selfish. You missed the boat many years ago, and now you're realizing that mistake. It happens. Until the opportunity for you to two to date comes again, I suggest you just be happy for them. If you find another girl during this time, then wonderful. Congratulations! If not, then wait for another girl to come. It may be this friend of yours.

    Agreed.

    You're going to screw up relationships if you do anything. Sure, their relationship may not mean a lot to you, but it may mean everything to him, her, or both.
     
  7. bartelby macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    #7
    I really don't get why people sign up to MR and make posts like this their first one. It appears they've joined a forum for Apple computers to ask relationship advice.
    My advice would be find a forum dedicated to relationship advice and ask there.
     
  8. MacNut macrumors Core

    MacNut

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Location:
    CT
    #8
    That advice would work if the op would actually listen to it and not discard it in favor of his lust.
     
  9. Iscariot macrumors 68030

    Iscariot

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Location:
    Toronteazy
    #9
    No, please, stay in the friend zone. Just keep trying in a passive manner. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you can't get out of the friend zone. If you just wish hard enough, upon enough stars, something might happen, right? I need you to stay in the friend zone so that there are more women for me.
     
  10. bartelby macrumors Core

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    #10
    Google comes up with lots of sites for advice. I'm actually surprised MR doesn't rank higher.
     
  11. Questionmark? thread starter macrumors newbie

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2008
    #11
    I don't plan on stabbing my friend in the back. I just want to make that clear, haha
     
  12. zap2 macrumors 604

    zap2

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Location:
    Washington D.C
    #12
    Haha, oh, true true!

    Of course, how would anyone make that mistake, you're just waiting for one of your friends to leave town, so you can make a move on his girlfriend.

    See, that seems a little shady

    My advice, move on, stay friends with them both, but go find another girl for a boy/girlfriend relationship
     
  13. NAG macrumors 68030

    NAG

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2003
    Location:
    /usr/local/apps/nag
    #13
    Yeah, I too am perplexed by this. We're nerds for crying out loud. lol
     
  14. CanadaRAM macrumors G5

    CanadaRAM

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Location:
    On the Left Coast - Victoria BC Canada
    #14
    Then what is the point of the thread?

    Your only decision to make in that case is if she decides to two time your buddy with you. You either go for the lust, knowing that her trustworthiness is lower than you may have hoped, or you find a way to let her down gracefully and still stay a platonic friend.
     
  15. mcarnes macrumors 68000

    mcarnes

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2004
    Location:
    USA! USA!
    #15
    Just whip it out and see what happens. Either she runs or stays but at least you'll have an answer. The boyfriend is irrelevant.
     
  16. ham_man macrumors 68020

    ham_man

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2005
    #16
    I doubt that an iPhone will make much of a difference in this situation...
     
  17. archesdevil macrumors 6502

    archesdevil

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    #17
    Good one ham man. I am thinking it is about time to end this thread?
     
  18. TuffLuffJimmy macrumors G3

    TuffLuffJimmy

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2007
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    #18
    This is kind of funny, basically the same thing happened to me.

    Then I realized I was gay.

    (I'm not saying you are, just check out your options)
     
  19. PowerFullMac macrumors 601

    PowerFullMac

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2006
    #19
    What? ANOTHER DATING ADVICE THREAD! *GOES MAD* :eek:
     
  20. Keebler macrumors 68030

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2005
    Location:
    Canada
    #20
    if you're such good friends with her you should be able to discuss your feelings. ask if she regrets that you didn't do anything about it before and that you feel differently now. maybe you perceive she's not into you now, but maybe she buried those feelings b/c you didn't share them.

    it's a fine line to walk, but if she means that much to you, don't let it go without you at least saying something. don't jam your tongue down her throat or 'whip it out' :) just have a chat. best friends should be able to chat about the deepest of subjects.

    let us know what happens.
     

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