I'm just looking for peoples' experiences ... see if I can gain some insight.
And I do appreciate all of the responses. They've been helpful.
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Estate issue -- getting a sibling to sell the house
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I'm just looking for peoples' experiences ... see if I can gain some insight.
And I do appreciate all of the responses. They've been helpful.
Really tough situation. There's two key things in my mind that play a major role in where things stand.
1. What is the primary motivation for each party to settle the matter? You mention that your wife just wants this to be over. I haven't heard you specify what the other non-resident sibling is wanting and by the sound of things the resident sibling is simply trying to make ends meet. Each person's motivation is key in how communication plays out in this situation. If the resident sibling is financially unstable and having this house is greatly benefiting her and her family then she is not going to be motivated to make a change if the other siblings are financially stable and all they want is to get their portion of the sale of the property. What needs are in play for each party and how do those needs relatively compare? This factor is at the root of the conflict and until those needs/desires are well defined, communicated, and understood there can be no progress.
2. What is the nature of the relationship between the siblings? This one is of primary significance. If there is past conflict, respect issues, resentments, etc. then all of those are going to play a factor in the present circumstances. Additionally, the current attitudes, which will be perceived based on past attitudes and behavior, that each party bring to the table will set the tone for how things proceed. I'm sure you don't want to "air your family's business" on an internet forum, and even if you did we would only be getting one side of the story, but that history and the nature of the relationships are foundational to the situation in which you find yourselves.
I would suggest a "family meeting" of some kind to bring all parties to the table for discussion about present circumstances and possible next steps for resolution. If a successful course of action cannot be agreed upon then a possible next step from there is mediation of some kind. As you already know, the final option is actual legal action.
1. What is the primary motivation for each party to settle the matter? You mention that your wife just wants this to be over. I haven't heard you specify what the other non-resident sibling is wanting and by the sound of things the resident sibling is simply trying to make ends meet. Each person's motivation is key in how communication plays out in this situation. If the resident sibling is financially unstable and having this house is greatly benefiting her and her family then she is not going to be motivated to make a change if the other siblings are financially stable and all they want is to get their portion of the sale of the property. What needs are in play for each party and how do those needs relatively compare? This factor is at the root of the conflict and until those needs/desires are well defined, communicated, and understood there can be no progress.
2. What is the nature of the relationship between the siblings? This one is of primary significance. If there is past conflict, respect issues, resentments, etc. then all of those are going to play a factor in the present circumstances. Additionally, the current attitudes, which will be perceived based on past attitudes and behavior, that each party bring to the table will set the tone for how things proceed. I'm sure you don't want to "air your family's business" on an internet forum, and even if you did we would only be getting one side of the story, but that history and the nature of the relationships are foundational to the situation in which you find yourselves.
I would suggest a "family meeting" of some kind to bring all parties to the table for discussion about present circumstances and possible next steps for resolution. If a successful course of action cannot be agreed upon then a possible next step from there is mediation of some kind. As you already know, the final option is actual legal action.