So they just assumed you'd pay for the wine, and not complain?
Wow, that's incredible.
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Etiquette/What would you have done...
- Thread starter Leareth
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So they just assumed you'd pay for the wine, and not complain?
Wow, that's incredible.
I like to consider myself quite the wine aficionado, and I would never purchase an $80 bottle of wine unless it was for a special occasion. Some of the best wines are less that $10.
Apart from that, I find it amusing that they presume they have enough class to drink $80 bottles of wine, and not enough to recognize their fault.
You did the right thing, don't second guess it.
Apart from that, I find it amusing that they presume they have enough class to drink $80 bottles of wine, and not enough to recognize their fault.
You did the right thing, don't second guess it.
I say you did the right thing. When I was out with friends on like this if we got alcohol of any type we would pay for it ourselves
I'll agree with this person. Spending $80 on a bottle of wine is not an easy thing to do. In many places that's considered a top tier wine that isn't sold often. That's not a small expense by any stretch. Especially when good to great wines can be had for a third of the price.
Was this some elaborate meal or establishment? Hell, your tip alone just on the wine would've been almost $40. For two people two consume almost $200 in wine and expect you to just pick it up is very rude. How well do you know these fools?
2 bottles of wine for 2 guests? A glass each with dinner sure I can see that--I'm guessing it's pretty easy to spot the alcoholics in your group I recommend the rest of you get together for a lunch split the check and plan your other two friends interventions.
First off, I think you did the right thing. Second, this is the type of behavior that has put me off from going out and doing this. When I was working at once company, also engineers, we would go out for lunch to a local brew house. There might be 10 of us on any given day. Then I started noticing that 2 would always order VERY expensive plates compared to the rest. On average most people were ordering a drink (soft drink, it was work) and a lunch plate. On average $15 to $20 total. Then these two would order large dinner plates and a few beers. Each running $50+. Then we would split the bill equally. Well for someone who only ordered a $7 burger, no drink; having to pay $25 felt like I was being taken advantage of. So I suggested we each pay for our own --- Most agreed, but a few felt I was being cheap. We stopped having lunch together and it caused hard feelings. But I still don't see how the heck I was the bad guy out of that?
I see this as the same thing you're going through. Seriously, how can people be mad at you (unless you were rude about it); they should be pissed at those guys.
Another option could have been to pay the bill, then when it was their turn to pay, order a $500 bottle of tequila or something of that nature. But then you would have no reason to complain because you'd have been just as bad as them. But if you're going to take the rap anyway, do the crime.
I see this as the same thing you're going through. Seriously, how can people be mad at you (unless you were rude about it); they should be pissed at those guys.
Another option could have been to pay the bill, then when it was their turn to pay, order a $500 bottle of tequila or something of that nature. But then you would have no reason to complain because you'd have been just as bad as them. But if you're going to take the rap anyway, do the crime.
Being financially responsible != being cheap, and when someone is essentially ripping you off you have to take action or lose a large chunk of cash every time you go eat. If someone gets pissy about it they probably arent the kind of people worth eating lunch with anyway.
My friends and I have always gone by the unwritten rule when we went out "pay for your own booze or don't bother going" there's never hard feelings going Dutch and the invites are easy "hey you wanna hit the pub Friday?"--"Sorry I'm broke" means no, "Sure I can cover my tab that night" means yes. Asking to spot a note is considered a little inappropriate and makes one a mooch among my regular circles (I usually say "nope sorry" they get over it), but offering to cover somebody (so long as it is not always expected or becomes a habit attracting moochers) is a kind gesture.
I would have paid for it, waited till it was their turn and then returned the favor by ordering a couple 120 dollar bottles of wine, chugging each in their face.
Hah, that's nothing! Really stick it to them and pick up a of Dom. Romane Conti (1997), I had a patient give me a bottle of this as a thanks one time ... If you can find it at a fine beverage store it will be about $1600 which would make it well over $2000 at a restaurant. That's still not the most expensive one i've heard of though, but the more expense ones are centuries old.
I probably would have paid for, and then ordered a bottle of Cristal or Dom for myself the next times we were out when it was their turns to pay. Or maybe some Louis XIII cognac.
I would feel like too much of an ******* if I chugged a $2000 dollar bottle of wine. Not for the guy paying for it, but for the wine itself.
Engineers are a strange lot.... <from a guy who's idea of a calculator is an HP 50C...>
except for the fact I don't drink.
I would have loved to get a Kobe beef steak in their tab though
You did the right thing.
Besides, they should have asked first.
There is rarely an excuse for poor manners.
Besides, they should have asked first.
There is rarely an excuse for poor manners.
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What type of alcohol would you normally buy on such nights? I'm guessing regular pints or $30 bottles of wine to be shared, but I just wanted to know so that I know how a-holish your friends are.
Also, at first I thought that perhaps something happened prior to dinner, which meant that perhaps two of them held a grudge against you, but it doesn't really seem so...
What type of alcohol would you normally buy on such nights? I'm guessing regular pints or $30 bottles of wine to be shared, but I just wanted to know so that I know how a-holish your friends are.
Also, at first I thought that perhaps something happened prior to dinner, which meant that perhaps two of them held a grudge against you, but it doesn't really seem so...
If this is not how it usually is on these nights out then I think you handled their rude assumption entirely appropriately. They are cheapskates (perhaps among other things) for thinking that it's acceptable to have someone else foot the bill for their expensive drinking choices.
i would of expected them to pay for it, thats proper manners, ignore them calling you a cheapskate, you know your right as do your other friends,
This is what I call a classic "I Never" moment. You know, "I never imagined someone would put me in a situation like this..." Unfortunately, it happens among friends more often then we would like and it's usually due to someone having poor judgment when it comes to friendship and boundaries. These two friends definitely crossed a boundary and acted, in my opinion, disrespectful towards you and the rest of the people there. You did the right thing in standing up for yourself and others there, as this kind of thing could have happened again if it went unchecked.
My mind is racing as the "jerk side of me" thinks of all kinds of ways you could have handled this situation.
You could have gone on the offensive, "what the hell did you guys order..."
You could have been passive aggressive, "hey guys, somethings wrong with our bill the silly waiter mistakenly put some really expensive wine on our tab, I'll have him take it off..."
You could have played dumb, "Did you guys order some wine??? Goodness gracious, look at the bill, let me get the waiter to split that for you two..."
You could have broke crazy, (smashes empty wine bottle on table and holds up jagged edge as a weapon) "you too selfish drunks will be paying for your own habit right, cause I ain't afraid to cut ya..."
Don't be surprised if you lose some friends over something silly like this. If it does turn into a big deal just stand your ground with simple reasoning, "I would never expect someone else to pay for something like that if I did it. I don't want to impose on those around me and appreciate it if I'm extended the same respect."
My mind is racing as the "jerk side of me" thinks of all kinds of ways you could have handled this situation.
You could have gone on the offensive, "what the hell did you guys order..."
You could have been passive aggressive, "hey guys, somethings wrong with our bill the silly waiter mistakenly put some really expensive wine on our tab, I'll have him take it off..."
You could have played dumb, "Did you guys order some wine??? Goodness gracious, look at the bill, let me get the waiter to split that for you two..."
You could have broke crazy, (smashes empty wine bottle on table and holds up jagged edge as a weapon) "you too selfish drunks will be paying for your own habit right, cause I ain't afraid to cut ya..."
Don't be surprised if you lose some friends over something silly like this. If it does turn into a big deal just stand your ground with simple reasoning, "I would never expect someone else to pay for something like that if I did it. I don't want to impose on those around me and appreciate it if I'm extended the same respect."