FoMO is always for the future, which could be seconds, minutes, days or years from now. Can this fear or any fear for that matter be valid? We think it can, because we believe that moments in our lives could have been different from what they were. Hence, besides fear, regret too sometimes happen to us. Are regret and fear inevitable? You may want to find out for yourself if it is possible for a moment in your life to be different from what it is. If you’d see clearly that that’s not possible, that clarity would free you from regret and fear by opening your heart to trust life.
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Fear of Missing Out
- Thread starter MindYourMind
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FOMO is people spending too much time looking at what everyone else is doing on social media and feeling the need to fit in. The people who cause it are people endlessly taking pictures of themselves, their new clothes, their vacations, the food they're eating. It's the public display of consumerism.
And that was dangerous for my generation in the last ten years, and is why something like BeReal now exists. You need to see people in the middle of doing things that aren't just curated shots of them spending money.
People my age and younger also need to get outside and socialize in general.
And that was dangerous for my generation in the last ten years, and is why something like BeReal now exists. You need to see people in the middle of doing things that aren't just curated shots of them spending money.
People my age and younger also need to get outside and socialize in general.
JOMO.
Joy of missing out. I'm perfectly content living my own life in a manner that brings me peace. It took me a long time to realize that I don't have to live life based on other people's predefined definition of what a successful person is.
Life is too short to feel you need to live up to someone else's expectations.
Joy of missing out. I'm perfectly content living my own life in a manner that brings me peace. It took me a long time to realize that I don't have to live life based on other people's predefined definition of what a successful person is.
Life is too short to feel you need to live up to someone else's expectations.
Growing up that was called "Keeping up with the Jones"
Same, accept it didn't take me any time at all. I really don't care for others expectations, They can take a run and jump.
Another good reason I never joined FB or Twitter etc.
Twitter? I'd rather stab myself in the head with a fork.
Twitter these days is like watching a slow motion train wreck. I'm on twitter but I never post anything
Fear can be a valid tool to induce positive change in a person provided the impetus for change is honest and real.
In my opinion, FOMO, especially with tech and social media is self-induced, unhealthy and unbalanced thinking which then triggers unhealthy behavior. One should be content with self first and foremost. Objects can and often do make our lives easier but, objects should never be allowed to become the focal point that is tied to self-worth. Self-worth of our being is much more valuable than any purchases or trying to keep up with mostly mindless drivel on social media. Life is too short to get caught up in such minutia.
In my opinion, FOMO, especially with tech and social media is self-induced, unhealthy and unbalanced thinking which then triggers unhealthy behavior. One should be content with self first and foremost. Objects can and often do make our lives easier but, objects should never be allowed to become the focal point that is tied to self-worth. Self-worth of our being is much more valuable than any purchases or trying to keep up with mostly mindless drivel on social media. Life is too short to get caught up in such minutia.
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A large section of our society (the business part) makes its profits, whether it likes to admit it or not on spreading FoMO as far and wide as possible and there comes a day when the evidence will come in that this has actually caused generations of mental pain and anguish to many. Being privy to how this operates goes someway to avoiding it - being skeptical of advertising and asking yourself hard questions about your everyday purchases - do you need this thing, or are you filling a void right now? But the same skepticism can lead to a negativity about the world that is not entirely justifiable but can be a miserable existence if you get too caught up in it.
If anyone wanted advice from me in any form, it would be: keep your friends close, do your best to find meaningful work, right your wrongs and get out of your noisy head as often as possible - it's very peaceful when you can and sometimes that's all we need to satiate ourselves, causing us to avoid consumable satiation and hence look after our little planet and each other.
If anyone wanted advice from me in any form, it would be: keep your friends close, do your best to find meaningful work, right your wrongs and get out of your noisy head as often as possible - it's very peaceful when you can and sometimes that's all we need to satiate ourselves, causing us to avoid consumable satiation and hence look after our little planet and each other.
👍 It's easy to be jealous of people when they're only showing off the awesome highlights of their lives. But you're only seeing a small part of what they choose to share on social media. It's unhealthy to compare your own life to it all.
Want to thank the posters for sharing their accounts of what FoMO is, where they think it’s coming from and what can be done to avoid succumbing to it. Many valid points have been raised. Would like to give a bit more context of what prompts me to post about this phenomenon.
It’s my understanding that man’s mind has evolved to believe that the present is shaped by choices in the past, and that choices in the present determine the future, and that we can learn from the past to make choices in the present that prevent or shape certain situations in the future.
Man is also by life made to believe in his mind that not all fear is disadvantageous, it’s sometimes to our advantage.
I don’t view these beliefs as being wrong, but I do observe that they maintain fear, which in turn only relates to who we think we are, not to what we really are in life.
Man would never be gripped by fear if he didn’t believe that life consists of 3 separate time zones. But life is just a moment wherein the past, present and the future are together, not separate, and thus one, not three.
I propose to validate beliefs, and a way of doing that is by watching life carefully. Another way is by asking deep questions.
A moment is ever present for us to live our lives in it. We can’t see, hear, smell, taste or smell the moment, but it’s ever there for us to evolve in it. What is the moment made out of? Who or what makes it to be there for the world to evolve in it? Not man, because he would have needed a moment to make the moment.
What if you discovered that it’s never possible for a moment to be different from what it is? Wouldn't you also understand that the content of any moment can’t be other than what it is? See if you can recognize that you are every moment already in a certain way before you can think of how you want to be, and that knowing how you are only happen in the past in the now.
If you begin to see what I am trying to share, the very understanding will begin to gift you trust and simultaneously rid your life of fear. But it’s only a lack of trust that’s man's problem, not the presence of fear. Only in the absence of trust can fear present itself.
Currently, trust is merely an expectation for man. Hence, trust gets eroded because of unmet expectations, which means it wasn’t trust in the first place. Trust, if it’s real, is independent, by itself. It doesn’t come and go. It’s in us and when it reveals itself, it stays. Then you’ve become fearless and compassionate towards friend and foe and open to life, come what may.
It’s my understanding that man’s mind has evolved to believe that the present is shaped by choices in the past, and that choices in the present determine the future, and that we can learn from the past to make choices in the present that prevent or shape certain situations in the future.
Man is also by life made to believe in his mind that not all fear is disadvantageous, it’s sometimes to our advantage.
I don’t view these beliefs as being wrong, but I do observe that they maintain fear, which in turn only relates to who we think we are, not to what we really are in life.
Man would never be gripped by fear if he didn’t believe that life consists of 3 separate time zones. But life is just a moment wherein the past, present and the future are together, not separate, and thus one, not three.
I propose to validate beliefs, and a way of doing that is by watching life carefully. Another way is by asking deep questions.
A moment is ever present for us to live our lives in it. We can’t see, hear, smell, taste or smell the moment, but it’s ever there for us to evolve in it. What is the moment made out of? Who or what makes it to be there for the world to evolve in it? Not man, because he would have needed a moment to make the moment.
What if you discovered that it’s never possible for a moment to be different from what it is? Wouldn't you also understand that the content of any moment can’t be other than what it is? See if you can recognize that you are every moment already in a certain way before you can think of how you want to be, and that knowing how you are only happen in the past in the now.
If you begin to see what I am trying to share, the very understanding will begin to gift you trust and simultaneously rid your life of fear. But it’s only a lack of trust that’s man's problem, not the presence of fear. Only in the absence of trust can fear present itself.
Currently, trust is merely an expectation for man. Hence, trust gets eroded because of unmet expectations, which means it wasn’t trust in the first place. Trust, if it’s real, is independent, by itself. It doesn’t come and go. It’s in us and when it reveals itself, it stays. Then you’ve become fearless and compassionate towards friend and foe and open to life, come what may.
Same I only use it for status of things having issues or to give feedback. Anyone I know personally is on FB. And I've learned by now you only every see the best or worst on there.
Yes, I never said I wasn't enjoying it, in fact the schadenfreude is giving me immense pleasure.
I just said I never post, I think many people can read and watch things without needing to add content - this happens where were there's a silent segment of members who rarely post but visit often and enjoy what's being posted.
Nowhere did I say you didn’t enjoy it.
Claiming to read but never post reminds me of the saying “I smoked weed but never inhaled.”
Not questioning the claim; just giggling about it.
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@MindYourMind Can you give us an actual real world example of the fear you're talking about? I think I understand what you're getting at, but I want to make sure.
Excellent post, and well said.
I confess to taking a guilty pleasure from what you correctly describe as a "slow motion train wreck".
Schadenfreude describes this sensation very well.
I'm on Twitter, but rarely post.
However, for politics, current affairs (many journalists, especially those who write thoughtful, long form, pieces are on Twitter, as are some interesting sources in academia, politics, literary stuff, and indeed, historical studies), it remains an excellent source.
Very well said.
This is a much more interesting and thoughtful thread that I had feared, when I first stumbled across the title.
My counsel simply echoes that of many of those who have already posted sage and sound advice.
Be the best version of yourself you can be, develop - and practice policing of, and police - personal boundaries (physical, professional, and psychological) and try not to allow the carefully curated (for public viewing) online lives of others have an undue influence on you.
Or, better still: Of those who are permitted an influence, might I suggest seeking to emulate those who you admire, like and respect because of who they are, not because of what they have, or what they have done (new clothes, cars, properties, holidays, etc), - though that does not exclude someone who has done something for the public good.
Re fear and regret, and their inevitability: Firstly, I will echo @yaxomoxay's advice: All human emotions are inevitable, but being controlled by them is a choice.
However, I would go even further: Re regret, one can learn from that - rather than wallowing in it - and - in the future - choose (make a choice) not to commit, or perform, the actions (or omissions) - or, similar actions or omissions - that gave rise to the regret in the first place. For, in my experience, regrets can come at least as much from what you have not done (because it may have been easier - at the time - not to do it) than from actions you have carried out.
As for fear: Fear gets a bad rap, because fear is actually a very healthy emotion, for fear is a moderating influence, and invites you to step back, pause, and think, and consider challenges, costs and risks (be they personal, physical, psychological), before doing anything, and asks that you consider how you can attempt to address them.
For that matter, recklessness is not courage, - and lack of fear is not courage - rather, it can be a form of willful, selfish, blindness, of physical - or psychological - myopia, and sometimes, a very dangerous and heedless myopia.
The challenge with fear is not to allow it to rule you; it can guide you, - and you would be a fool not to acknowledge it, or pay heed to it - but true courage involves mastering fear, and accepting risk, while taking the necessary steps to overcome it in order to achieve whatever your objective is.
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The other thing I would add to my earlier post is that choice is also relevant when deciding (or choosing) who to follow on social media.
One can select whom one follows, and one can exercise choice in deciding what (qualities) one would like to follow, and what one opts to be influenced by.
These days, for example, I find myself very struck by posts (tweets) that come with kindness, compassion, generosity of spirit, and are informed by wisdom. Intelligence and wit do not go amiss, either.
If lives lived on - or in, the glare of - social media give rise to negative thoughts or feelings, why not choose to surround yourself with more positive posts, life-affirming and uplifting posts?
One can select whom one follows, and one can exercise choice in deciding what (qualities) one would like to follow, and what one opts to be influenced by.
These days, for example, I find myself very struck by posts (tweets) that come with kindness, compassion, generosity of spirit, and are informed by wisdom. Intelligence and wit do not go amiss, either.
If lives lived on - or in, the glare of - social media give rise to negative thoughts or feelings, why not choose to surround yourself with more positive posts, life-affirming and uplifting posts?