I have not quite figured out what possesses us to come share our stories of life on MacRumors. But I was about to go to bed after having the most awkward conversation I have had with anyone in a while and I thought that I would come here. I am actually feel a bit silly for thinking anything of it, and need someone to hit me across the head and tell me to stop being such a *insert your own word here*.
The story begins in January, when I was still dating Vanessa, at this point we had been broken up once and had gotten back together. We argued constantly, we weren't a good match. Finally in February we broke up after 11 months together. However, In January this girl I used to date in High School and I started talking (i.e. trying to be friends again). We had been friends for about a year and dated over one summer (I was 14, young and naive). She broke up with me after the summer and I don't know why I am even talking about that today. That is the complete past, that was nearly 7 years ago.
Okay, so after we broke up, we didn't talk. It ruined a good childhood friendship. My senior year we suddenly started talking again. However, shortly thereafter she started dating this guy that I really didn't think was good for her. Maybe it was me being jealous. At this point I did date one other girl but I had not forgotten about Chelsea and was still very attracted to her. I was an ass about the fact she was dating this guy I didn't care for and we stopped talking again. Over the next three years we would occasionally say hello, she married the guy she was dating (the one I didn't like) and we were not really friends.
In January we began talking because she was in the process of getting a divorce. I know very well that her talking to me was probably because she was lonely seeking something familiar. But we reconnected and then after Vanessa and I broke up we started talking more and more. Well tonight, she tells me that she "would not mind going on a date with me"....
Now several ideas pop into my head. This is a girl that I am still very attracted to. Doesn't matter about the past, just over the last couple of months of talking to her I have renewed my attraction and she is the type of girl that I would want to date as I am today. So it isn't an issue of the fact that we had anything in the past. But I am afraid that because of that past and the fact that she is lonely and that I am lonely too that I would be making a somewhat bad choice. Not that it isn't possible that because we are obviously both attracted to each other but it is most likely that we are both lonely and I am afraid how that might effect our judgement.
I need someone to virtually hit me across the head with a baseball bat and tell me to get this out of my mind. I told her in response that I was extremely flattered but I think that we should just be friends without it getting awkward we shouldn't discuss such things. But damn, now I am mad that I said that. She wants to go out for what she is calling "very platonic coffee". Would it be so terrible if we just let ourselves be who we are and go and have a good time even if that meant we ended up dating again? Is that such a silly thought?
I feel like a little school boy crushing on his childhood crush. Probably because that is what she was and I never did stop being attracted to her. Dammit, why did she have to make such a suggestion? I was having a perfectly good time just talking to her thinking that her mind wouldn't wander to such things.
Now I am going to attempt to sleep... best wishes.
The story begins in January, when I was still dating Vanessa, at this point we had been broken up once and had gotten back together. We argued constantly, we weren't a good match. Finally in February we broke up after 11 months together. However, In January this girl I used to date in High School and I started talking (i.e. trying to be friends again). We had been friends for about a year and dated over one summer (I was 14, young and naive). She broke up with me after the summer and I don't know why I am even talking about that today. That is the complete past, that was nearly 7 years ago.
Okay, so after we broke up, we didn't talk. It ruined a good childhood friendship. My senior year we suddenly started talking again. However, shortly thereafter she started dating this guy that I really didn't think was good for her. Maybe it was me being jealous. At this point I did date one other girl but I had not forgotten about Chelsea and was still very attracted to her. I was an ass about the fact she was dating this guy I didn't care for and we stopped talking again. Over the next three years we would occasionally say hello, she married the guy she was dating (the one I didn't like) and we were not really friends.
In January we began talking because she was in the process of getting a divorce. I know very well that her talking to me was probably because she was lonely seeking something familiar. But we reconnected and then after Vanessa and I broke up we started talking more and more. Well tonight, she tells me that she "would not mind going on a date with me"....
Now several ideas pop into my head. This is a girl that I am still very attracted to. Doesn't matter about the past, just over the last couple of months of talking to her I have renewed my attraction and she is the type of girl that I would want to date as I am today. So it isn't an issue of the fact that we had anything in the past. But I am afraid that because of that past and the fact that she is lonely and that I am lonely too that I would be making a somewhat bad choice. Not that it isn't possible that because we are obviously both attracted to each other but it is most likely that we are both lonely and I am afraid how that might effect our judgement.
I need someone to virtually hit me across the head with a baseball bat and tell me to get this out of my mind. I told her in response that I was extremely flattered but I think that we should just be friends without it getting awkward we shouldn't discuss such things. But damn, now I am mad that I said that. She wants to go out for what she is calling "very platonic coffee". Would it be so terrible if we just let ourselves be who we are and go and have a good time even if that meant we ended up dating again? Is that such a silly thought?
I feel like a little school boy crushing on his childhood crush. Probably because that is what she was and I never did stop being attracted to her. Dammit, why did she have to make such a suggestion? I was having a perfectly good time just talking to her thinking that her mind wouldn't wander to such things.
Now I am going to attempt to sleep... best wishes.