Feeling a bit silly... letting some thoughts out.

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by maestro55, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. maestro55 macrumors 68030

    maestro55

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2005
    Location:
    Goat Farm in Meridian, TX
    #1
    I have not quite figured out what possesses us to come share our stories of life on MacRumors. But I was about to go to bed after having the most awkward conversation I have had with anyone in a while and I thought that I would come here. I am actually feel a bit silly for thinking anything of it, and need someone to hit me across the head and tell me to stop being such a *insert your own word here*.

    The story begins in January, when I was still dating Vanessa, at this point we had been broken up once and had gotten back together. We argued constantly, we weren't a good match. Finally in February we broke up after 11 months together. However, In January this girl I used to date in High School and I started talking (i.e. trying to be friends again). We had been friends for about a year and dated over one summer (I was 14, young and naive). She broke up with me after the summer and I don't know why I am even talking about that today. That is the complete past, that was nearly 7 years ago.

    Okay, so after we broke up, we didn't talk. It ruined a good childhood friendship. My senior year we suddenly started talking again. However, shortly thereafter she started dating this guy that I really didn't think was good for her. Maybe it was me being jealous. At this point I did date one other girl but I had not forgotten about Chelsea and was still very attracted to her. I was an ass about the fact she was dating this guy I didn't care for and we stopped talking again. Over the next three years we would occasionally say hello, she married the guy she was dating (the one I didn't like) and we were not really friends.

    In January we began talking because she was in the process of getting a divorce. I know very well that her talking to me was probably because she was lonely seeking something familiar. But we reconnected and then after Vanessa and I broke up we started talking more and more. Well tonight, she tells me that she "would not mind going on a date with me"....

    Now several ideas pop into my head. This is a girl that I am still very attracted to. Doesn't matter about the past, just over the last couple of months of talking to her I have renewed my attraction and she is the type of girl that I would want to date as I am today. So it isn't an issue of the fact that we had anything in the past. But I am afraid that because of that past and the fact that she is lonely and that I am lonely too that I would be making a somewhat bad choice. Not that it isn't possible that because we are obviously both attracted to each other but it is most likely that we are both lonely and I am afraid how that might effect our judgement.

    I need someone to virtually hit me across the head with a baseball bat and tell me to get this out of my mind. I told her in response that I was extremely flattered but I think that we should just be friends without it getting awkward we shouldn't discuss such things. But damn, now I am mad that I said that. She wants to go out for what she is calling "very platonic coffee". Would it be so terrible if we just let ourselves be who we are and go and have a good time even if that meant we ended up dating again? Is that such a silly thought?

    I feel like a little school boy crushing on his childhood crush. Probably because that is what she was and I never did stop being attracted to her. Dammit, why did she have to make such a suggestion? I was having a perfectly good time just talking to her thinking that her mind wouldn't wander to such things.

    Now I am going to attempt to sleep... best wishes.
     
  2. 63dot macrumors 603

    63dot

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Location:
    norcal
    #2
    I looked over your post to see if I could find any obvious red flags. I don't see anything that says she is absolutely not the right person for you.

    After all, you are going on a date, not getting married tomorrow or anything. Take it slow, but not so much in a manner as if you totally don't know this person.

    Anyway, I hope things turn out well, and keep us posted over the days and months as those are times when you may have a clearer picture as to what you could be getting into.
     
  3. r1ch4rd macrumors 6502a

    r1ch4rd

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Manchester UK
    #3
    I don't think a date could do any harm. Just go for a coffee, take it slow and see how you feel.

    If you don't like it, then you can let her down gently (easier said than done, I know) but if you have a really good time then there's no reason you shouldn't carry on.
     
  4. maestro55 thread starter macrumors 68030

    maestro55

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2005
    Location:
    Goat Farm in Meridian, TX
    #4
    Well thank you guys for not telling me I was being entirely silly about this. I mean I guess what is just different is the fact that we dated so long ago briefly after being friends in High School. So that makes things seem a bit childish that we are talking now, but we are both different people now and still there is an attraction. I will go with the flow. There are two sides of me, one just saying we should be friends but stay friends and the other saying that dating her would be nice. But again I will take things slow and see where I end up.
     
  5. eldy macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Location:
    The City

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