I had a relationship with a girl in high school five years ago. It was messy to say the least. She cheated on me twice, I was suicidal, her perverted step-father hated me. It was really bad. I should be happy, right? But I remember what I loved about her... all the things we had in common, her eyes, the way her hair covered her face. I still think about her on a weekly basis... more so when I'm depressed. I've been treated for a mood disorder, which exacerbates the situation. I often can't separate my feelings from these irrational emotions, which are the result of a chemical imbalance in my brain. I know that I can find intimacy and friendship... there's a lot of fish in the sea, as the saying goes. But often, it's a struggle to find asylum from my illness and my past. They say you never forget your "first love." Do you think this is true? When you find the right person, does the pain go away? What can I do to heal my scars?