Just because I too think you're being snide and unnecessarily rude:
1) Apple charges an extremely high "flat fee" for fixing any computer. Kinda a moot point when the cost to service both a Magsafe adapter and a logic board both costs $1999 eh?
That wouldn't be the cost for either, or really any repair, and a high price doesn't render the service (or the point) moot.
2) Apple loses money on such a service *gasp*
Please explain how such an offering makes sense?
Losing money on a repair service makes perfect sense in the business world, and many companies do this simply to maintain customer loyalty. Apple has done many, MANY things to maintain customer loyalty (speaking as an Apple customer of close to 20 years now) that make flat rate repairs seem somewhat tame.
But as to how it makes sense, it averages out eventually. Taking this as an example (and plucking the numbers and services out of thin air, of course), if you have a flat rate repair service, you are likely going to charge slightly above what the majority of repair issues would cost. So you get requests to, say, replace RAM sticks, a service which let's say actually costs in labour around $10, and you would likely charge in a fluctuating system, say, $50. So you set your flat fee at $75 or $100. The majority of requests are going to come from people who would happily pay someone else to handle their tech, and the major issues, which would likely cost a couple hundred dollars to the company, are fewer and farther between. So you balance out your loss, possibly lose a little or break even, but you end up with tons of happy customers.
All of that said, I haven't heard of this service being offered by Apple.