For Tech's Sake! Apple's Silliest Tech

[CrashX]

I can still remember when I couldn't WAIT to get my hands on the latest Apple tech - man… perpetually green with it.

And now I just think it's... stupid? If it were free, I'd pay to opt out. And because people actually pay a premium for it, I'm increasingly worried that - if I stick with buying Apple - I'll no longer be able to escape the idiocy?

Anyway, here goes my list of Apple's goofiest new tech:

Face ID

Uhm... why? If you're already busy with your hands, then how exactly are you craning your neck so that the phone can ID your face? And, beyond that for tech’s sake feature, wouldn't animating emojis get old pretty much instantly? Yeah, I get how it might be useful in some scientific lab setting to study faces - but I really can't get over how idiotic...

I actually feel sorry for anyone who spent a grand on an iPhone X for that feature. What, are they DJ-ing, both hands busy spinning records, and their phone just locks them out? And mainly I'm just sad that Apple is no doubt hard at work, investing infinite resources to top the stupidity that is Face ID. How much money was wasted on that?

AirPods

Okay, there are tons of reasons why these would be awesome. My problem is that I'd likely lose them - pretty much constantly. The only reason I can hope to find my earbuds is because they're forever attached to the foot long cable leading to the jack. So they're not idiotic at all - I'd just need at least two pair, so I'd have access to the ones in their case - ugh... I'd probably misplace that, too. So admittedly I'm the idiot, and only dislike the concept because they seem way too expensive to constantly be losing… all the time.

So - seriously - how do folks keep up with them? Do you always remember to put them back in the case and place the case where you can find it? I'd most definitely have to break my lifelong habit of tossing my earphones on the bed next to me when I'm done, right?

Touch Bar

Hey, maybe it's really cool? I hardly use the top row - the occasional exceptions being the escape key, the power button, and the play/pause key. And, as a touch-typist, I almost always look at the keyboard to peck those out. So I guess I'm unfairly including it in my list? Just jelly it’s not on my machine…

But I am interested in how useful people are finding it?

Anyway, hopefully people can add stupid stuff to the list that I haven’t picked up on? And no fair adding me - that’s an automatic.

 

[smallcoffee]

You should start a blog. Your in-depth analysis of products and persuasive writing skills are noteworthy.

 

[Shanghaichica]

Never used the touch bar. The AirPod issue can solved by attaching a strap to them like this

Face ID works...

 

[tobefirst ⚽️]

Can't comment on the Touch Bar, but my AirPods are one of my favorite things. Best headphones I've ever owned and I've spent way too much money on bluetooth headphones.

Face ID is sometimes better than Touch ID and sometimes not. I absolutely love it, though, when I get done working out and I'm sweaty yet can still unlock my phone.

 

[Juicy Box]

There does seem to be a change at Apple with their priorities.

I also find the FaceID, and Touch Bar to be very underwhelming.

I remember being so excited when I started watching the "hello again" event, just waiting for something awesome and spectacular coming to the Mac line, only to be completely disappointed.

One thing that was was a little interested in was the AirPods. I have the same worries about them that you do, but that is not why I have not purchased them yet.

I have not purchased them yet because the volume cannot be adjusted from the AirPods during phone calls. I still think that is a deal breaker for me, at least for now.

 

[tobefirst ⚽️]

For goofiest tech, I would say a mouse that charges ON THE BOTTOM. I actually don't mind Apple's mouse much at all. I like that I can easily scroll in all directions, but my goodness, what were they thinking on the charging?

 

[C DM]

For goofiest tech, I would say a mouse that charges ON THE BOTTOM. I actually don't mind Apple's mouse much at all. I like that I can easily scroll in all directions, but my goodness, what were they thinking on the charging?

They likely wanted a design that would discourage someone from using the mouse while it was charging as they saw it a purely wireless product basically as far as use goes.

 

[redheeler]

For goofiest tech, I would say a mouse that charges ON THE BOTTOM. I actually don't mind Apple's mouse much at all. I like that I can easily scroll in all directions, but my goodness, what were they thinking on the charging?

To make matters worse, I only seem to get a low battery notification when the battery in my Magic Mouse 2 is "very" low, meaning I have no choice but to plug it in and grab another mouse to continue what I was doing.

I know Apple has been challenged with designing mouses in the past, but sometimes I have to wonder if whoever thought this was a good idea is still employed at Apple...

They likely wanted a design that would discourage someone from using the mouse while it was charging as they saw it a purely wireless product basically as far as use goes.

The Magic Keyboard can be used wired or while charging, so it's unclear why the mouse would be designed differently.

 

[Juicy Box]

They likely wanted a design that would discourage someone from using the mouse while it was charging as they saw it a purely wireless product basically as far as use goes.

So Apple deliberately removed functionality from the wireless mouse, to make sure people didn't use it as Apple intended?

I think that is worse than it just being a mistake on Apple's design team.

 

[C DM]

The Magic Keyboard can be used wired or while charging, so it's unclear why the mouse would be designed differently.

The keyboard is something stationary that isn't moved as it is being used, while the mouse is pretty much the opposite of that. The usability of the keyboard basically doesn't change with or without a wire connected, the usability of a mouse can given that it moves around.

So Apple deliberately removed functionality from the wireless mouse, to make sure people didn't use it as Apple intended?

I think that is worse than it just being a mistake on Apple's design team.

I'm not sure I follow...remove what functionality? And so that people won't use it as Apple intended how?

It seems that Apple intended for the wireless mouse to be used wirelessly, so if charging meant that the mouse would need a wire connected to it, using it at the same time means that it wouldn't be used in a wireless fashion.

 

[Juicy Box]

I'm not sure I follow...remove what functionality? And so that people won't use it as Apple intended how?

Removing the ability to charge it while in use.

t seems that Apple intended for the wireless mouse to be used wirelessly, so if charging meant that the mouse would need a wire connected to it, using it at the same time means that it wouldn't be used in a wireless fashion.

But being unable to use it while it is charging prevents it from being a wireless mouse also. If it being charge, it can not be a mouse.

If the charging port was not located at a ridiculous location, then the mouse could always be a mouse, regardless of whether a cable is connected to it or not.

While you are right, if a wireless mouse has a cable connected to it, during that time it could be considered a wired mouse, but it is still functional.

When Apple's wireless mouse needs to be charged, it is no longer functional, and is basically a paperweight until it is charged.

There has not been too many Apple devices that become completely unusable while they are charging. At least not until recently.

 

[tobefirst ⚽️]

They likely wanted a design that would discourage someone from using the mouse while it was charging as they saw it a purely wireless product basically as far as use goes.

I feel you. And they were stupid for making it that way.

 

[C DM]

Removing the ability to charge it while in use.

But being unable to use it while it is charging prevents it from being a wireless mouse also. If it being charge, it can not be a mouse.

If the charging port was not located at a ridiculous location, then the mouse could always be a mouse, regardless of whether a cable is connected to it or not.

While you are right, if a wireless mouse has a cable connected to it, during that time it could be considered a wired mouse, but it is still functional.

When Apple's wireless mouse needs to be charged, it is no longer functional, and is basically a paperweight until it is charged.

There has not been too many Apple devices that become completely unusable while they are charging. At least not until recently.

But it couldn't be used as a wireless mouse while it's charging. So if the idea behind the design is that it's a mouse that is meant to only be used as a wireless mouse, then that accomplishes that. As for being usable while charging, seems like part of it might have to do with what that usability is, if it's a device that is meant to be moved in its use then the approach can be different compared to a device that isn't meant to be moved in its use or can fairly easily be used without the need to be moved.
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I feel you. And they were stupid for making it that way.

Well, that can certainly be a fair take on it.

 

[Juicy Box]

But it couldn't be used as a wireless mouse while it's charging. So if the idea behind the design is that it's a mouse that is meant to only be used as a wireless mouse, then that accomplishes that. As for being usable while charging, seems like part of it might have to do with what that usability is, if it's a device that is meant to be moved in its use then the approach can be different compared to a device that isn't meant to be moved in its use or can fairly easily be used without the need to be moved.
[doublepost=1525198255][/doublepost]
Well, that can certainly be a fair take on it.

I think it comes down to what is better, a wireless mouse that loses total functionality while charging, or a wireless mouse, that is fully functional while charging except that it is wired.

In my opinion, it would have been better to put the charging port on the front to keep functionality while charging.

To put it another way, an iPhone is a wireless device by definition. Would it make sense to disable every function of the phone while charging because it is supposed to be wireless?

 

[C DM]

I think it comes down to what is better, a wireless mouse that loses total functionality while charging, or a wireless mouse, that is fully functional while charging except that it is wired.

In my opinion, it would have been better to put the charging port on the front to keep functionality while charging.

To put it another way, an iPhone is a wireless device by definition. Would it make sense to disable every function of the phone while charging because it is supposed to be wireless?

Well, that's part of the point that I made as far as usability--the nature of the mouse is that its use involves movement, while for something like an iPhone, while it can and often does involve movement, it can easily be used for the same things without movement.

I'm by no means saying that Apple's potential approach there is good or bad or anything like that, simply that there can be some rationale to it (even if it might not necessarily cover 100% of scenarios and/or might not be seen as good by some/many for one reason or another).

 

[CrashX]

For goofiest tech, I would say a mouse that charges ON THE BOTTOM. I actually don't mind Apple's mouse much at all. I like that I can easily scroll in all directions, but my goodness, what were they thinking on the charging?

Ha - just... wow. Yeah, that should be at the top of the list.

The AirPod issue can solved by attaching a strap to them like this

I thought you'd attached a schematic of the original earbuds - but that's just a genius solution to a problem that shouldn't exist. Does anyone yet sell 3D copies of your face for when you need to unlock your X after a horrific accident?

 

[AidenShaw]

Does anyone yet sell 3D copies of your face for when you need to unlock your X after a horrific accident?

Or to sell 3D copies of your face to people who want to steal your identity?

 

[theluggage]

So Apple deliberately removed functionality from the wireless mouse, to make sure people didn't use it as Apple intended?

No. Apple saved time and money by making the minimum necessary change to the old design.

With the MM, the whole top case is the mouse button, and moves relative to the base when you click, so just sticking a lightning port in the top case would be a slight problem. It wouldn’t be rocket science to work around that (after all, they used to make wired mice with the same principle) but the previous version had replaceable batteries, and so didn’t need a socket, and it was probably quicker an cheaper to make only minimal changes to the design. Now, if they had adopted their own spooky trackpad tech that uses pressure sensors and haptics instead of a physically moving button, the mouse could have been one piece, which would have been more magical...