For Your Amusement - Neologism

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by zelmo, Mar 6, 2008.

  1. zelmo macrumors 603

    zelmo

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    #1
    Received via email from a friend. WARNING: Please remove all beverages from the vicinity of your keyboard before proceeding. We cannot be held responsible for spillage.


    The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
    The winners are:

    1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.



    The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

    Here are this year's winners:

    1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

    3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

    4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

    8. Osteopornosis (n) (This one got extra credit.) : A degenerate disease.

    9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
    and it's like, a serious bummer.

    10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    11. Glibido ( v): All talk and no action.

    12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.



    And the pick of the literature:

    16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an *******.
     
  2. bartelby macrumors Core

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    Jun 16, 2004
    #2
    Fantastic!!

    I particularly think this is quite a relevant one for MR:
     
  3. zelmo thread starter macrumors 603

    zelmo

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    #3
    Yes, the sarchasm one is perfect for us, isn't it?:D
     
  4. iAlan macrumors 65816

    iAlan

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    #4
    Thanks Zelmo, a good laugh all round.

    Kind of scary how many of the terms relate to me - not 'willy-nilly' though :p
     
  5. iBlue macrumors Core

    iBlue

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    #5
    fecking awesome!

    http://upc.*************/uploads/gifs/applausev2.gif

    I think this one is MR suitable sometimes too: Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
     
  6. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

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  7. zelmo thread starter macrumors 603

    zelmo

    Joined:
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    #7
    a new one:

    Macscara - the sensation that the new Mac you just purchased is going to be outdated one day past the point of your being able to return it for the upgraded model.
     
  8. zelmo thread starter macrumors 603

    zelmo

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    #8
    Smarmalade: The uncomfortably thick layer of BS that is spread on the potential purchaser by a salesperson.
     

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