Fought with a Coworker

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by applekid, Dec 2, 2007.

  1. applekid macrumors 68020

    Jul 3, 2003
    I have a complicated story, and I need help.

    I'm almost done with school for the semester, and I'm planning on returning to my previous place of work since my boss is more than happy to take me back. Unfortunately, my friend/co-worker and I had a fight recently.

    I did date this friend of mine for a short period because I was under the impressions things could work by what her best friend said, but she said it'd be better if we stayed friends and so we broke up. She didn't want lose me and things, which I think had more to do with her not-so-good past relationships. She also called me daily, but that happened even before we dated. She called literally daily for a good hour or two at a time. As my friends put it, she called me like a mother. Although we broke up, in the back of my head I thought I'd try to ask her out later when things were right.

    Anyways, the last month there were a few not-so-friendly phone calls. We were stressed out and things with school and the like, so we were pretty irritable. I had been patient with her the whole time although she might be angry with me. And there were times where she wouldn't call for a couple of days to make a stand about how I never call, which was kind of true. But, it's not like I call all of my friends daily. Honestly, I don't know of anybody that calls like this. The excitement and energy of our phone calls was dying. During our conversation a couple of weeks ago, she thanked me for putting up with her and apologized for being mean and things. A few more phone calls later, she didn't call. I thought maybe she was spending time with her family and things since it was Thanksgiving break.

    I called her up the following Tuesday to check if things were okay. I suspected she didn't call because I did something. So, she picks up, kind of surprised. We talk for a little bit, but then somewhere in there she says she had erased my number and I did something to annoy her the previous phone call. I had to leave, so I hung up, but I tried calling her back and failed.

    That is the situation. I don't know what to do really. I sent her best friend a lengthy message about the situation, but her reply was a simple give it some time. Well, the thing is, I only have a couple of more weeks before I'm back at my job. Looking for another job isn't really an option since it's kind of late, and I do like my job enough to return to it. The other problem is since my number is not on her phone, there ain't no way she's going to call me. I'm not sure if calling her again and again is a good idea. I have her e-mail and screen name, but again, I don't know if it's such a good idea either. Maybe I'm wrong. I'd like to apologize, but I don't know what I said to piss her off. I also think it's time I should be angry at her, except I don't know what for.

    So, I'm dreading about going back to work. :) Oh, and of course buying Christmas presents for my boss and co-workers sucks, too. I already bought my friend her gift, too. :(
  2. 748s macrumors 6502a


    Dec 14, 2001
    Tiger Bay
    Sounds like she was using you as a sounding board for her "stuff".
    Delete her number and let it go. She already did it.

    The hardest part will be work.
    Be civil and treat her as a work colleague and leave it at that.
    Keep composed and rational what ever happens.

    Do you have to buy Christmas presents for the boss and co-workers?
    Can you not buy any presents for them?
  3. applekid thread starter macrumors 68020

    Jul 3, 2003
    Your opinion is tough... But I think I have to agree with it...

    I guess I don't have to give gifts, but there's only a few of us at this place and we all are friends really. It's just I don't want to end up giving nothing when the other people are getting me something. Maybe I should just get something for the boss this year.
  4. Abstract macrumors Penryn


    Dec 27, 2002
    Location Location Location
    My advice would be to never call her again, and if there are weird vibes at work because of this, don't ask her what is happening? Just leave it. You could ask her about it, but don't talk about it like close friends. Just try to clear this one issue up and then act like co-workers.

    In reality, despite what I said, I know it's difficult to do this, and I'd probably fail at it. When she didn't phone you for a few days, you really shouldn't have called her. I think you sort of like it when she phones. You know she'll phone you, so you never put in any effort. But once she stopped calling you and giving you that sort of attention, you called her. Yeah, girls have this weird affect. You may not like her (I don't know if you do), but even if you don't, you still want her to call you up and such.
  5. GoCubsGo macrumors Nehalem


    Feb 19, 2005
    You simply need to figure out how to separate business and personal relationships. You will find as you continue to work that office co-workers will undoubtedly become your friends. You may forge amazing relationships with them and those relationships will hit rocky times. At that point you need to check your baggage at the door and act in a professional manner with each and every person. At work you are co-workers, outside work you two can be the over dramatic people you want to be if that is what suits you.
  6. applekid thread starter macrumors 68020

    Jul 3, 2003
    Okay, now I'm confused. I deleted her number and haven't had any contact with her since last Tuesday. She started talking to me on AIM again just today. I haven't gone out of my to keep the conversation going, but she is talking like nothing happened.

    I don't want to just suddenly stop talking because that would probably worsen everything. I have no reason to be apologetic, and I don't really have anything to say to her. I feel like she owes me an apology. I want to force one out of her, but I probably shouldn't. Yeah, I guess you're all right in saying just let it go, but that's always easier said than done.
  7. mactastic macrumors 68040


    Apr 24, 2003
    You gotta be careful dipping your willy into the office pool...

    Be courteous and professional. That's all you can do.

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