14 hours and not a peep. Seems increasingly safe to assume the OP has found no iPad. He/she/it has probably spent the better part of today basking in the echoes of their own sad lonely laughter, reverberating off the cinder block walls of a basement bedroom in some depressed former factory town.
Tomorrow they'll be back to their regularly scheduled friendless existence, back to dreaming they were Marilyn Manson, back to making cinnamon buns for overweight hungry mall shoppers, and this will all be forgotten.