Funny Inquirer piece on new Tablet..

Discussion in 'iPad' started by archipellago, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. archipellago macrumors 65816

    Aug 16, 2008
    the rest of the worlds view..

    FRUITY TOYMAKER Apple has started whipping up its tame industry press to get all enthusiastic about a rally of blackshirted true believers it is holding on January 27.

    Apple is going to release either its Itablet, a touchscreen iMac, or something with an Intel Core i5 chip under the bonnet. There will be nothing to see that has not been done to death for the last six months.

    Only Apple expects a frenzy of speculation and discussion for the launches of its products. When the day arrives we will also be treated to the shameful display of US press people standing up and applauding the appearance of Steve Jobs trying to hawk his latest product as if it is the cure for cancer.

    In fact Apple has already seeded test gear to a few newspapers and tech magazines but only those who will praise it to the skies. We will not see a balanced review until the machines start to hit the shops in a month's time. By then Apple will have whipped its fanboy base into becoming early adopters and they will queue outside stores to give the impression that there is a movement to buy the product.

    Then a month afterwards when the gear starts to crack, or develop faults, Apple will quietly ignore the problems while the tame press bangs on about the "new phenomenon sweeping American".

    You might wonder why Apple gear does not sell so well in Europe. It is because the European press generally does not allow itself to be used like a cheap whore by a cynical proprietary company as a tool to screw more cash out of the generally IT illiterate customers. In countries where the media coverage is balanced or, like Russia, anti-Apple, Jobs Mob fails to do so well. It seems to rely on keeping people ignorant and the US tech press does that job for it.

    In the days when products were looked at on the basis of merit, a company would have to bribe us with free booze, or perhaps a novelty item or too, before we would even show up at a product launch. Then there would be no guarantee that we would not slam the product, the company, its CEO or the person who came to escort us from the building. Now Apple expects hacks to show up and mingle with salivating fanboys who really do believe that Steve Jobs is God. We are expected to stand and applaud while Apple releases another phone, PDA or PC box at an outrageous price.

    Apple is the Liberace of the IT industry. The camp piano player had hardcore of fans, and no doubt could use both hands to play chopsticks. But the act was a show based on syrupy sequins, fake diamonds, and smoke and mirrors where everything was sizzle and there was no steak.

    Why the hell should any decent hack want to report anything like that? µ
  2. shrimpdesign macrumors 6502a


    Dec 9, 2005
    The argument that Apple makes shiny useless toys breaks down when you realize businesses and working artists alike use their products to get work done. Maybe they aren't for you, that's great, but to say without a doubt that Apple products suck, and only "fanboy" idiots use them is nothing short of bigotry.

Share This Page