Girlfriend takes me over school!

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by tkepongo, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. tkepongo macrumors regular

    tkepongo

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Location:
    Oregon State University
    #1
    long story, short: my gf is putting me first over school. she always wants me to be there with her but i dont want to see her fail so i tell her to study for her tests when they come then she gets all moapy and starts saying "you always push me away"

    what can i say that will make her get her act together?
     
  2. 119576 Guest

    119576

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2007
  3. RHD macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2008
    Location:
    London
    #3
    Threaten to break up with her if she's not in the top 6 of her class at the end of the year.
    It's for her own good.

    (PS I'm a girl and she'll thank you when she's older and trying to get a job)
     
  4. letsgorangers macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2006
    Location:
    TN
    #4
    Ding ding ding.
     
  5. tkepongo thread starter macrumors regular

    tkepongo

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Location:
    Oregon State University
    #5
    threaten to leave? i'll put that as plan B. Does anyone have any other solution?
     
  6. xUKHCx Administrator emeritus

    xUKHCx

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2006
    Location:
    The Kop
    #6
    I'd put that as plan never to be used. If you start making threats like that it is a slippery slope and undermines the relationship if you ask me.

    I would talk to her about how you view the current situation and try and convey why you "are pushing here away" but obviously don't phrase it like that. If possible try out tiredhorses idea.
     
  7. Prof. macrumors 601

    Prof.

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    #7
    Say... "I don't want to see you fail so I want you to concentrate on your school work and not so much me. I am not 'pushing you away', I love you soo much.

    Something like that.;)

    They don't call me "Prof" for no reason ;)
     
  8. tkepongo thread starter macrumors regular

    tkepongo

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Location:
    Oregon State University
    #8
    i get all my studying finished at work during the day so... i cant really study with her at night since i got nothing to study
     
  9. themadchemist macrumors 68030

    themadchemist

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2003
    Location:
    Chi Town
    #9
    Hahahaha, eeeexcellent. Oh, how we love the meritocracy.
     
  10. tMac85 macrumors 65816

    tMac85

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Location:
    in a great place
    #10


    yeah something like this.

    or study with her. or really explain how this is somewhat upsetting you. or both.
     
  11. xUKHCx Administrator emeritus

    xUKHCx

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2006
    Location:
    The Kop
    #11
    So you can directly help her with hers. obviously not every night but now and again.
     
  12. decksnap macrumors 68040

    decksnap

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2003
    #12
    Yeah I think the point is you can help her study her stuff. Not that I think that's a great deal for you.
     
  13. Prof. macrumors 601

    Prof.

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    #13
    *gasp*

    STUDY BUDDIES!!!!!:p

    *anchorman jump*

    YAYYY!!!
     
  14. herr_neumann macrumors 6502

    herr_neumann

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Location:
    Roseville, Ca
    #14
    Ummmmm... Just break up with her for being too needy. This is only going to get worse...
     
  15. Prof. macrumors 601

    Prof.

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    #15
    That is the worst advice I have ever heard.:eek:
     
  16. themadchemist macrumors 68030

    themadchemist

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2003
    Location:
    Chi Town
    #16
    Yeah, it sucks for the OP. Especially if the OP does better than his gf in school, and there's always a presumption that he'll manage to pull through. That said, tutoring someone else can be fun--to an extent.
     
  17. vanmacguy macrumors 6502a

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2007
    Location:
    Not where you live.
    #17
    Stay with her while she studies and read a book or something. But stay out of her way and tell her to concentrate if she starts talking to you.

    Cheers.
     
  18. odagled macrumors member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2007
  19. iDAG macrumors 65816

    iDAG

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2007
    Location:
    Athens, Ohio
    #19
    You should tell her that if she fails then she would never make it in life. BTW I'm not the greatest person to ask because my girlfriend is in the top ten at my high school. :)
     
  20. nickster9224 macrumors 6502a

    nickster9224

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Location:
    35 Miles From Chicago, Illinois
    #20
    i thought it said study BOOBIES. lmao
     
  21. ewxlt macrumors regular

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2008
  22. David G. macrumors 65816

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2007
    Location:
    Alaska
    #22
    Haha, when I saw this thread title in Forum Spy i thought it was going to be something about your GF flying you over your school in a helicopter or an airplane. Silly me.:eek:
     
  23. Abstract macrumors Penryn

    Abstract

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Location:
    Location Location Location
    #23
    Make that Plan C. RHD may be a girl, but that doesn't mean she's right.

    I'm sorry, but making her feel as though you can leave her at any time -- at the snap of the finger -- is not the answer. If she thinks it's that easy for you to leave, then what you'll end up with are trust issues, a fear of losing you, a fear of you walking away, of you "pushing her away" ......all bad news.

    She seems a bit (too) dependent on you, but is threatening to walk away the right way to treat a person who doesn't want to leave you? DUHHHHHHH..........

    Just tell her, "Hey, you know what? I think we should either study together at the library, or study separately, but give ourselves 3 hours at night to spend time together."

    That way, you'll still get your message across, but by suggesting that you still make time for each other, you're also not pushing her away.
     
  24. Prof. macrumors 601

    Prof.

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    #24
    Well, we know what you can't stop thinking about.:p
     
  25. letsgorangers macrumors 6502

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2006
    Location:
    TN
    #25
    Why?

    While I was joking when I chimed in about breaking up with her, I think herr_neumann has a point. No, don't go and break things off with her right this instant, but there appear to be some larger issues at work here. If she wants to be around you so much that her school work is taking a hit, there's a problem. Maybe she feels like you don't give her enough attention or something. Whatever it is, it doesn't look like it's about school. I'd just sit her down and talk to her and find out what the real issue is. Give her affirmation that you love her and want to be around her as much as possible, but make it clear that her school work should always come first. Or if she's not easily distracted, offer to come over with your laptop (if you have one) and just sit around on your computer or watch tv while she works. That way she gets her work done and you are still there with her.
     

Share This Page