Having a Tesla, and looked deeply at a rivian, car play not being a thing is not a deal breaker, the catch is can you make a compelling OS that does not such and if you can, I know some here will still want it, however it becomes less of a deal breaker. The current crop of GM hahaha no you need car play they can not write a car OS to save there lives.
It’s true. I’m fortunate to have two vehicles. One has CarPlay and one is an EV without CarPlay. I drive the EV more these days and when I get back into the vehicle with CarPlay, I don’t even bother using it anymore. It’s not a necessity, or as you stated, a deal breaker. I get in the car to drive, not get into the car to have 20 phone apps, text messages directly in front of me, etc as distractions.