When setting up gmail on my iphone I went through the basic steps and then turned OFF "recent mode". This prevented a constant influx of mail onto the iphone. The problem becomes a racing issue. If your desktop pop client (mail.app) gets the mail first, you won't ever get it on your iphone because its already been marked as delivered (the iphone won't see it because its no longer there for download)
That last issue can be fixed with "recent mode" ON and inbox set to 25 messages, you will always have 25 items in your inbox. When you delete one, and older one comes in from the bottom of your list, which will inevitably be one you've already seen from months past - drag, so don't delete them, and keep 25 "previously read" messages in your inbox at all times. This nullifies the trash can on your iphone because you really never want to delete something and have an old one come in - marked as unread. In this mode your iphone will always get new mail even if another pop client (desktop mail.app) has read it. It sucks down the new mail and old mail gets moved out 1 for 1, thereby keeping 25 items in your box at all times.
I'm not sure which mode I dislike less
eric
That last issue can be fixed with "recent mode" ON and inbox set to 25 messages, you will always have 25 items in your inbox. When you delete one, and older one comes in from the bottom of your list, which will inevitably be one you've already seen from months past - drag, so don't delete them, and keep 25 "previously read" messages in your inbox at all times. This nullifies the trash can on your iphone because you really never want to delete something and have an old one come in - marked as unread. In this mode your iphone will always get new mail even if another pop client (desktop mail.app) has read it. It sucks down the new mail and old mail gets moved out 1 for 1, thereby keeping 25 items in your box at all times.
I'm not sure which mode I dislike less
eric