Good practices when using social media

[rm5]

I feel like this needs its own thread, because it's come up numerous times, especially here in the Community section. I also hope this will not devolve into ridiculous argument.

There are a lot of people on social media who simply do not know how to behave properly, or use the platform in a way that is meaningful. Of course, there is really no solution to this, except to educate the public more about it, so that we can avoid more problems. I can see bad behavior occurring especially in the AR/VR space, too.

So, what are some good practices for using these platforms? I'll list a few.

1. Post safe-for-work material, even if the site is an "adult site."
2. Do not interact personally with another user (i.e. in DMs, going off to a different platform, etc.) until you have interacted with them in a public space. Obviously, there is no guarantee that said person is true to their identity, but assuming they are, you will be able to use your judgement later on.
3. Do not intentionally post in the wrong forum section, Discord channel, etc.
   1. Also, don't just jump in randomly with off-topic discussion. Follow the discussion if it interests you, and it it doesn't, don't say anything.
4. Do not defame people, schools, businesses, etc.
   1. I actually see this a LOT. If you are angry about a person, your school, your employer, or whatever, either don't talk about it at all, or keep it in your REAL LIFE circle (family members mainly).
5. Have a filter—don't discuss very personal problems unless it is relevant to the discussion, part of a fundraiser, etc., and it's in the best interest of the community to do that.
   1. This also ties into point #4, because those personal problems can absolutely be - and most of the time are - related to things like in #4.
   2. This also means not showing your face, name, etc. unless you are willingly able and comfortable to do that - and it's in the best interest of the community. This might differ from platform to platform - it certainly does for me.
6. Last, but certainly not least, don't do stupid stuff for "internet clout" or attention. It'll likely get you in trouble in real life.

Now, please understand that this is by no means a complete list, so please don't take it as such. If you have anything you'd like to add, please reply with your thoughts.

EDIT: I am also not innocent here; sure, I've broken these "rules" before. I came up with these based on the mistakes I have made.

 

[jedimasterkyle]

So I can appreciate and respect this list. It's thorough and well worded and by no means are you wrong on any counts of it. It's nice to see a list like this.

However, and this is not a criticism of your list,...it assumes 3 things.

1. People will adhere to the rules of said platform.
2. Moderation will happen to keep things in line.
3. People wont say "Hold my beer" just for the fame.

Facebook lets people get away with SOOOOO much (not that the other platforms dont) and they're kind of hypocritical when enforcing their own rules so how is it fair to expect people to follow the rules when the platform itself cherry picks what rules to follow in the first place?

Unlike message boards (like Macrumors), Social Media has almost zero content moderation and in some cases, platforms have not only invited more crazy, they've encouraged it. The only time platforms will moderate content is when it becomes an immediate red flag that will cause either a lawsuit or a criminal investigation. Even then, it's still a 50/50 if it gets removed from the platform.

As for the posting of dumb things just for the fame, all you have to do is search "Driving tesla with Apple Vision Pro" on TikTok and I'm sure there will be 1000 results. We live in an era where doing the dumbest thing possible will get you the most views and notoriety. Not saying it's right because 9/10, the dumb things people post involve either themselves or other people getting hurt, arrested or something worse.

The ONLY thing I (respectfully) disagree with on your list is not "defaming" businesses or schools. Personally, I have no problem calling out a business or school online because of something they've decided to do that will inevitably hurt people to one degree or another. Whether it's stealing money from hard working people and claiming it as a tax break or telling kids what they can or cannot read in a library. If they are going to post things on social media, then like the rest of us, they are fair game in terms of getting praise or backlash.

 

[Clix Pix]

In the old days, when the Wide World Web and the internet was still in its infancy, there were actual guidelines spelled out for "Netiquette." Unfortunately most of those have gone by the wayside for one reason or another.....

 

[decafjava]

Very good summary and I think this is a good basis to start and no I haven't followed those myself. Another thing I may add is be very careful on political issues - there is a reason I have not joined some of the political forums some MR people have joined after the closing of the politics sub-forum here. It's worse on social media, I do follow some political accounts but I refrain most of the time from putting my opinions out there and watch out about useless internet arguments. I have been burned before. Best be subtle I think.

 

[VisceralRealist]

The problem is that you can create as many rules as you want, but the structure of social media itself encourages violating these rules. There can be rules for users, but can there be rules for the platforms themselves? People do things for clout because social media encourages and rewards it. If it didn't, we'd see a lot less stupid behavior in public. But right now, making an a** of yourself in public is a way to get a huge amount of attention and potentially money as well. The system needs to change if people are going to change their behavior.

I certainly think we can all try to be better, and I don't use social media the way clout-chasers do, but there's a lack of incentives here, on the part of users and the platforms.

 

[rm5]

Alright, mass quoting session incoming...

So I can appreciate and respect this list. It's thorough and well worded and by no means are you wrong on any counts of it. It's nice to see a list like this.

However, and this is not a criticism of your list,...it assumes 3 things.

1. People will adhere to the rules of said platform.
2. Moderation will happen to keep things in line.
3. People wont say "Hold my beer" just for the fame.

Facebook lets people get away with SOOOOO much (not that the other platforms dont) and they're kind of hypocritical when enforcing their own rules so how is it fair to expect people to follow the rules when the platform itself cherry picks what rules to follow in the first place?

Unlike message boards (like Macrumors), Social Media has almost zero content moderation and in some cases, platforms have not only invited more crazy, they've encouraged it. The only time platforms will moderate content is when it becomes an immediate red flag that will cause either a lawsuit or a criminal investigation. Even then, it's still a 50/50 if it gets removed from the platform.

As for the posting of dumb things just for the fame, all you have to do is search "Driving tesla with Apple Vision Pro" on TikTok and I'm sure there will be 1000 results. We live in an era where doing the dumbest thing possible will get you the most views and notoriety. Not saying it's right because 9/10, the dumb things people post involve either themselves or other people getting hurt, arrested or something worse.

The ONLY thing I (respectfully) disagree with on your list is not "defaming" businesses or schools. Personally, I have no problem calling out a business or school online because of something they've decided to do that will inevitably hurt people to one degree or another. Whether it's stealing money from hard working people and claiming it as a tax break or telling kids what they can or cannot read in a library. If they are going to post things on social media, then like the rest of us, they are fair game in terms of getting praise or backlash.

I think you have a point about the moderation (or lack thereof) on social media, but I would argue this doesn't apply to all social media platforms.

With regards to calling out businesses, schools, I was specifically talking about your own employer or school - or any entity you have done business with in the past.

Very good summary and I think this is a good basis to start and no I haven't followed those myself. Another thing I may add is be very careful on political issues - there is a reason I have not joined some of the political forums some MR people have joined after the closing of the politics sub-forum here. It's worse on social media, I do follow some political accounts but I refrain most of the time from putting my opinions out there and watch out about useless internet arguments. I have been burned before. Best be subtle I think.

I rarely join political discussions—I only do if it's with people I'm very close to. Otherwise... nope! Not having any of it.

The problem is that you can create as many rules as you want, but the structure of social media itself encourages violating these rules. There can be rules for users, but can there be rules for the platforms themselves? People do things for clout because social media encourages and rewards it. If it didn't, we'd see a lot less stupid behavior in public. But right now, making an a** of yourself in public is a way to get a huge amount of attention and potentially money as well. The system needs to change if people are going to change their behavior.

I certainly think we can all try to be better, and I don't use social media the way clout-chasers do, but there's a lack of incentives here, on the part of users and the platforms.

I don't use social media in that way, either. But you're right--platforms can set rules, but they have potentially billions of users, and you can never guarantee that everyone will follow them. But federal laws are indeed in place so that stuff that's REALLY extreme is actually illegal.

 

[Huntn]

Some might find this interesting…
My wife is on Facebook, she visited the “official” Stanley Tucci Facebook page, that includes discussion of his cookbook, his Italian Cooking show, and his current Italy and its Cuisine show. I’ve watched this show and it’s good. She made some favorable comments about his recipes on Facebook and soon after she gets a not a friend request, but a message to send him a friend request, as in “friend me” from Stanley Tucci or someone pretending to be him.

Now to be clear, she’s not ga-ga about this but more as a curoriosity, she sends him a friend request via Messenger. She gets something back not to use Messenger, something about being hacked, but some other secure messenging app. Then she gets a FaceTime request on her phone, that she accepts, Stanley Tucci’s face pops up, but the image is frozen, like the connection stalled, then failed.

Some very brief text messages have been sent, she checked and the associated phone number area code is from Louisiana. Online the info is he lives in the UK. She asked why do you have a Louisiana phone number? The answer was “an associated company I work with with”. As I said all communication has been brief, with nothing substantial about his recipes, basically zero meaningful discussion. One night at 10pm, she gets a message from this contact, “What are you doing?” The contact requested a photo, which she sent not unlike her Facebook profile, and got the comment “I always found you attractive.”

What the hell? She was not flattered, but alarmed by this. Supposedly it’s purported, he likes talking to his fans online, and while it would be fun, to personally communicate with a famous personality, both she and I think this is a scam of some kind. Besides suspicious clues, would you know this is real or not? 🤔

On Facebook this is not the first time. My wife’s second cousin is Patrick Mahomes, he is from the other side of her family, an Aunt (by marriage) daughter’s son, the equivalent age of a grandson, we’ve never met him, but as a big fan, she thought it would be cool to get an autographed Jersey from him, we’d bring the Jersey, he’d sign it. Well they don’t hand out his phone number in the family, apparantly he does not often go to large family get togethers. So she contacted him on his Facebook page, and she got a response but it was vague. She said, hello and described her relationship to him, some small talk, mentioned her aunt that married into his side of the family, and what she got back was generalized. Instead of saying something like, how’s Aunt So and So doing, nothing like we expected, vague.

Our Son lives a hour or so away from Kansas City, and we were visiting him for a couple of weeks and she asked about the autograph on Facebook messenger, and the answer was “sure stop by the stadium.” She’s ready to go, and I’m like “where at the stadium? When? What entrance? Who do we talk to to get in?” Both me and my son convinced her, this was most likely not Patrick Mahomes, and I did not want to drive an hour and a half to Kansas City, to bang on a door at the stadium, and if by some chance someone was there, they’d let us in. We convinced her this was not legit. 🙃
Update: She removed the Signal App from her phone this morning.

Reference:

What the Tech? Cloned Facebook profiles and how to protect yourself

Here's how the scam works and how you can protect yourself and your friends

www.wfmz.com

 

[KaliYoni]

The contact requested a photo, which she sent not unlike her Facebook profile, and got the comment “I always found you attractive.”

Sounds like the criminals behind sextortion scams are expanding their targets beyond teens...

Sextortion Scams Are Driving Teen Boys to Suicide

Criminal gangs are posing as flirty girls on Instagram and Snapchat to torment high school boys, drain their bank accounts and push them to the edge.

www.bloomberg.com

 

[Apple fanboy]

I’m so glad I never participated in social media. Yes I know this is a form of social media, but I keep my personal information offline as much as possible.

 

[Huntn]

I’m so glad I never participated in social media. Yes I know this is a form of social media, but I keep my personal information offline as much as possible.

Facebook, by its nature, you are talking often to family, but it’s “privacy” settings are supposed to protect you. I think the contact was made because a third party scans the Stanley Tucci forums which are public and sends out hooks. 😳 The key here maybe that the the request was made to friend him from a questionable origin, vs getting a friend request from Messenger, but even this could be problematic.

Of interest, when my wife got the text, “I’ve always found you attractive”, she replied with, “what does that have to do with talking about your recipes?” Then she deleted the contact.

 

[Apple fanboy]

Facebook, by its nature, you are talking often to family, but it’s “privacy” settings are supposed to protect you. I think the contact was made because a third party scans the Stanley Tucci forums which are public and sends out hooks. 😳 The key here maybe that the the request was made to friend him from a questionable origin, vs getting a friend request from Messenger, but even this could be problematic.

Of interest, when my wife got the text, “I’ve always found you attractive”, she replied with, “what does that have to do with talking about your recipes?” Then she deleted the contact.

Neither of my parents are on FB and I live with Mrs AFB so we communicate IRL! No other family.

I just don’t want to create an account on a platform designed to mine your personal data for marketing purposes etc. it’s bad enough with Google.

 

[chown33]

"Good practices" are on the brink of irrelevance. Please give a warm welcome to all your new AI friends chatbots sales-droids algorithmic manipulators:

Meta hypes AI friends as social media’s future, but users want real connections

Two visions for social media’s future pit real connections against AI friends.

arstechnica.com

Those chatbots mine personal information shared on Facebook and Instagram, and Meta wants to use that data to connect more personally with users—but "in a very creepy way," The Washington Post wrote. In interviews, Zuckerberg has suggested these AI friends could "meaningfully" fill the void of real friendship online, as the average person has only three friends but "has demand" for up to 15.

Borrowing from an older AI: The only winning move is not to play.

 

[Apple fanboy]

"Good practices" are on the brink of irrelevance. Please give a warm welcome to all your new AI friends chatbots sales-droids algorithmic manipulators:

Meta hypes AI friends as social media’s future, but users want real connections

Two visions for social media’s future pit real connections against AI friends.

arstechnica.com

Borrowing from an older AI: The only winning move is not to play.

Exactly!

 

[KaliYoni]

I just don’t want to create an account on a platform designed to mine your personal data for marketing purposes etc. it’s bad enough with Google.

I don't know how motivated you are in minimizing the dossier that Facebook, Google, Adobe, and other companies that run advertising networks hold on you but simply not having an account isn't enough anymore. Actions such as using browser ad blockers, installing browser privacy extensions, blocking trackers in emails, and subscribing to a VPN service, for example, are necessary to reduce the amount of information surveillance capitalism companies know about you.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I don't know how motivated you are in minimizing the dossier that Facebook, Google, Adobe, and other companies that run advertising networks hold on you but simply not having an account isn't enough anymore. Actions such as using browser ad blockers, installing browser privacy extensions, blocking trackers in emails, and subscribing to a VPN service, for example, are necessary to reduce the amount of information surveillance capitalism companies know about you.

I’m pretty sure my footprint is quite minimal based on the lack of junk calls, texts and emails I get (virtually none).

I’m not some tinfoil hat nutter. Just don’t want to be more public than most.

Even on here I’m amazed at what some people share.

 

[machenryr]

I haven't read all the replies but I can share mine, and it works for me. I mainly use facebook and this forum and a few music ones. I never get into any spats. I have a policy on my facebook page. Every 6 months or so I have to reinstate and remind my 5k friends. And they're amazingly good about it, as well as policing others. My thing, that I state, is that this is like my living room. I know it sounds crazy, but whatever. I expect you to treat me as if you were a guest and I would treat you as if you were a guest, in my house. I don't argue and won't argue. I might state political or other opinions that you may take issue with. It's my page. We can discuss. If I get flamed I will probably try to improve my position, ONCE. MAYBE twice. But I won't argue. I won't fight. If you continue I will unfriend or block you, depending on how much of an ass I think you are. I've had friends reinforce this for me, because I don't read half the replies on my page. "This is Henry's page. I would love to get into it with you but I respect Henry's wishes." Believe it or not, my page is quite peaceful and well mannered. I might post all kinds of things aout the political scene in the US. It's my page. It's not u for debate. Hou do what you want on yours. Other formats are less controlable like this. X? Forget it. But I've been on FB for 113 years and most of my friends want to be on my friends list. So it works. Other forums were and are terrible. One music forum gearspace, was terrible. And I started doing the same thing. I would have my say and drop it. I would NEVER go back to see what someone said. I wouldn't revist that thread. I it worked for me. I keep my emotional well being and almost never get upset.